Posts Tagged ‘Weekly Previews’
Week 8 Preview
Thursday, June 10th, 2010Can The Elves Upset What The Puck Once Again?
GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (5-0) at Happy Little Elves (4-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: High-octane offenses will collide, as the top two scoring teams in BTSH face off in a Weyersberg Conference showdown this Sunday. What The Puck has lit the lamp an impressive 28 times this season, good for second most in the league. However, with one fewer game played than a majority of the league, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut ranks first in per game scoring. Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer lead a balanced attack with six and five goals, respectively. The Happy Little Elves lead all of BTSH with an astounding 31 tallies through six games. Rookie Trevor Beauclair has quickly made his presence known with his team-leading eight goals, which also ranks him second in the league. Even more stunning are the six goals from Elves captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick. With both teams averaging more than five goals per game, expect a lot of offense in this brightly colored battle.
Keys To The Game:
1. As a by-product of their prolific scoring, What The Puck and the Elves are also ranked one and two in goal differential. However, WTP’s defense and goaltending have been stingier, as it has allowed the second fewest goals in the league, even on a per game basis.
2. The Happy Little Elves stunned the league in Week 22 of the 2009 season with a 7-1 thrashing of What The Puck at Moffo. This outcome prevented What The Puck from clinching the coveted Prince of Weyersberg Trophy. The win, however, did not help the Elves to gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
3. Unhappy with recent acquisition Jeremy Roenick crying on national television, What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has exercised his option to rescind last week’s trade that saw Corey “Chongo” Winters go to the Winnipeg Jets. Winters will take over Roenick’s place on the third line with grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald and Lisa Harrington.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. They’ve scored at least five goals in each game, and I don’t see the Elves getting six or more here.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. The normally carefree What The Puck players will have revenge on their minds.
Watchability: 4 Beauclairs. Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz’s wild antics and unorthodox goaltending style are worth a Beauclair on their own.
Week 7 Preview
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010Chuck Has A Lot On His Mind
GAME OF THE WEEK
Gouging Anklebiters (4-1) at Denim Demons (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: Upon hearing that the media would promote his matchup against the Denim Demons as the Game of the Week, the normally reserved Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters went off on one of his now infamous rants about his opponents:
Adam is a legend only in his own mind, Abby has too much dirty laundry, Steve is a Devils fan, Lena hates puppies, Jeff is out of the country, Zack’s dad always gets in the way, Gabby wears too much red, Emily doesn’t wear enough red, Brad is not sexy, Aaron can’t play the drums, Tara sings off key, Danny’s cooking sucks, Bob disgusts me, Lauren is an elitist, Miranda isn’t civic-minded, Mike only plays for personal stats, Dave needs a shower, Connie drives too slowly, Bill is not a sweetie, Val cried during Baseketball, Dez is frequently truant, Noah chews with his mouth open, and Sara has never watched The A-Team. As for Jim, there’s nothing bad I can say about him.
When reached for comment, Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens was reportedly not pleased with DeFranco’s remarks. However, teammate “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau was elated.
Keys To The Game:
1. Since vicious hazing allegations against the Gouging Anklebiters were made public prior to Week 2, the team has reeled off four consecutive victories, including a seven-goal output against Cobra Kai.
2. Despite the absence of last season’s team scoring leader, Jeff Kamen, the Denim Demons have had no trouble finding the back of the net this year. They are third in the league with 19 goals, a league-leading seven of which are from forward Zack Tinkelman.
3. Denim Demon newcomer Bob DiProspero is quickly making a case for himself to be the Little Chernoski Demon Achiever for top rookie on the team. He has already scored three goals this season and also tallied a shootout goal against the arch-rival Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Rubens is clearly incensed by DeFranco’s comments and has vowed to kill the legend of his trash-talking.
Watchability: 4 Derhohannesians. With both teams on hot streaks, neither will want to lose any momentum.
Week 6 Preview
Thursday, May 20th, 2010Dan Hopper Is Having The Best Week Ever
GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (1-2-0-1) at Sky Fighters (2-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
Game Notes: Past champions collide in this highly anticipated Hackett Division battle. The Dark Rainbows struggled to open the season, with losses to the Unicorns, What The Puck, and Gouging Anklebiters. However, they are now coming off an impressive 4-2 win against the Happy Little Elves in a Fairy Tale Cup matchup. 2009 team scoring leader John Nielsen led the way in this contest with two goals, including the game-winner. The Sky Fighters were also slow out of the gate, as they too lost to What The Puck and the Unicorns. However, they have turned things around with back to back shutouts of Mega Touch and Poutine Machine. With both teams coming off of momentum-building wins, this matchup looks a lot better than it did a week ago.
Keys To The Game:
1. Although the Dark Rainbows are tied for most goals against in BTSH, goalie John Meyer played impressively last Sunday, holding the Happy Little Elves’ potent offense to only two.
2. Sky Fighters netminder James Stein has not allowed a goal in more than 100 minutes of play. How long can he continue this hot streak?
3. Due to attendance issues last week, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper almost had to break out his patented “50 Minutes of Martin” strategy. However, with an extra player showing up five minutes into the game, Martin played just a scant 40 minutes instead.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. They’ve gotten rid of all of their offseason rust.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. I’ll go with the more recent champions.
Watchability: 4 Abdos
Week 5 Preview
Thursday, May 13th, 2010Everyone’s Excited For Rehabs-Demons!
GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Rehabs (2-1) at Denim Demons (2-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 6-6-1
Game Notes: For as long as the Rehabs and Denim Demons have been in BTSH, their rivalry has been one of the bitterest and most intense in the league. However, numerous events this offseason have led to a thaw in their once frosty relationship. The animosity began to dissipate when Demon veteran (and Stacy S. Kehoe award winner) Abby Meisterman allowed long time Rehab Stacy S. Kehoe to borrow her hockey stick during a scrimmage. The Rehabs reciprocated the goodwill when team firecracker Gina Hackett offered Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens a swag bag of Rehabs merchandise (including a t-shirt, bandana, Romeo Shampoo, Mike Bartlett Cupcake mix, and a Villano Edition iPod). Rubens was reportedly “totally amped” over the gesture. The Rehabs’ generosity continued when known agitator and instigator Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman sent the Demons a care package of fine China to replace the plates he broke in a 2007 clubhouse raid. These teams buried the hatchet once and for all during a black-tie mixer, hosted by Bryan “Stork” Welch of the Rehabs and “Hacksaw” Jim Dandaneau of the Demons. Aaron “Coach” Pagdon and Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli were coronated as the king and queen of the event.
Keys To The Game:
1. Though his attendance has been inconsistent since joining the Rehabs, Adam Skuse has averaged more than a goal per game. If he plays, the Demons’ defense will have to monitor him closely.
2. Denim Demon forwards Mike Pereira and Zack Tinkelman are tied for the league lead with five goals each. However, Tinkelman’s father, Joe, is not happy about his son’s transition from a shutdown defender to an offensive dynamo.
3. Both of these teams are coming off of three-goal losses to a Rubens Division opponent. Despite the newfound congeniality between the squads, they will both be playing hard to get back on the winning track.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs. According to Ellery, the Demons suck, and he’s the most reliable source I know.
Watchability: 5 Khars. “Hey guys, come to my game! There’s going to be pie!”
Week 4 Preview
Thursday, April 29th, 2010Will Made Sure We Got His “Good” Side
GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (2-0) at Corlears Hookers (1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1
Game Notes: Cobra Kai is on top of the world, as well as the Donohue Division, as the team is off to the best start in its five season history. In week 1, the Dojo rallied from a halftime deficit against La Famiglia to secure its first opening day victory ever. The momentum carried to week 2, when Cobra Kai notched a solid win over Mega Touch. The Corlears Hookers also won their first game of the season with an impressive triumph over Rubens Division rival LBS, Inc. However, the Hookers stubbed their proverbial toes in week 2 with a stunning loss to the underrated, yet generally uninspiring, Happy Little Elves. After overlooking the Elves, have the Hookers learned their lesson as they take on a much improved Cobra Kai team?
Keys To The Game:
1. For the second straight season, Will Kuhns leads Cobra Kai’s offensive attack. He has scored two goals in each of the team’s first two games and attributes his success to his camouflage t-shirt, which he claims keeps him hidden from the opposing defense’s view.
2. Jason Eitel led the Corlears Hookers with 22 goals in the 2009 season, but has missed the team’s first two games due to a long bout with measles. However, he was granted a clean bill of health earlier this week by team doctor Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown and is now listed as probable.
3. Cobra Kai and the Corlears Hookers last met in week 21 of the 2009 season. The Dojo prevailed in a shootout 4-3, even though the afternoon was otherwise marred by “rain fears”.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. They rarely lose two games in a row.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Eitel should have a big game if he does return.
Watchability: 3.5 Biagionis.
