Posts Tagged ‘Weekly Previews’
Week 8 Preview
Thursday, June 12th, 2008Hey Look, It’s Grand Marshall B!
GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (4-2) vs. LBS (5-2)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous enters this weekend on a four-game winning streak, with their most impressive victory coming last Sunday. Despite giving up a game-tying goal to the Denim Demons with just thirty seconds left in regulation, Filthy Gorgeous persevered and prevailed in the shootout on goals from two of their stars: Suvin “The Guru” Malik and James Pereira. After a two-game losing streak, LBS has responded by winning their last two games, including a hard fought victory against the Mathematics, when they were short a few players in the heat. Despite playing only a few games together so far, Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin and Karsten Pichon are still one of the most formidable scoring tandems in BTSH. While these two teams may not get as much press as some of the flashier teams in the league, they are still just as talented.
Keys to the Game:
1. This will be the second game of the day for Filthy Gorgeous, with the first being a very grueling matchup against the Rehabs. Will a two-hour break between games be enough to re-energize them?
2. Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett of LBS had his first multi-goal game of the season last week. He claims it was because he gave up drinking beer the entire week. Filthy might want to buy him a cold one before the game.
3. Filthy Gorgeous might have a goalie controversy on their hands as Liza Watts was the winning goalie of the Women’s All-Star Game.
Eli’s Pick: LBS. I was very impressed with their performance last week.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. I expect big things from Filthy’s most prominent player, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon.
Week 7 Preview
Thursday, June 5th, 2008Could Jake Busey End The Rehabs’ Winning Streak?
What The Puck (6-0) vs. Rehabs (3-1-1)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 7-4
Game Notes: This matchup features two of the hottest teams in BTSH, as What The Puck has won all six of their games, and the Rehabs are currently riding a three game winning streak. Despite their gaudy record, What The Puck has struggled in one area: attendance. They have had only one substitute the last two weeks and actually played shorthanded in one of those games. Personnel issues aside, their lethal offense still leads the league in team goals. The Rehabs started slowly, but played their best game of the season last week in a 6-0 victory against the Happy Little Elves. Their deep offensive rotation is led by the Ontario Connection of “Con” Ed Lau and Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman, but not to be overlooked are Sal Malguarnera, Lateef Nurmohamed, Chantel Arroyo, and Brian Wong (who really enjoys playing hockey).
Keys to the Game:
1. What The Puck team cancer, Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri has frequently been seen wearing a Rehabs shirt. One has to wonder where his true loyalties lie. The answer is most likely with himself.
2. Cinemax is scheduled to play Tomcats from 1:00 AM to 3:00 AM on Sunday morning. Rehabs captain Bryan “Stork” Welch will not be able to resist watching this and could be tired and unfocused.
3. Lost amongst the accolades for What The Puck’s explosive offense, has been the steady goaltending of Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz. He has yet to give up more than two goals in a game.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. What The Puck’s attendance issues finally catch up with them.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. They’ve played nearly perfectly each and every week, regardless of how many of them show up.
Week 6 Preview
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008Volanto’s Oblamski’s Heroes
Cobra Kai (1-3-1) vs. Sky Fighters (3-1)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: After losing their first three games of the season, Cobra Kai appears to have turned the corner with a tie against the Denim Demons and a win against the Gouging Anklebiters. Newcomer Adriano Bratta leads the Dojo’s offense with seven goals, putting him amongst the league leaders as well. Although the Sky Fighters suffered their first loss of the season in their last game against Filthy Gorgeous, they have still been a pleasant surprise. Grizzled veteran Martin Cejka also has seven goals to lead the Sky Fighters. Both Bratta and Cejka account for more than fifty percent of their respective team’s overall goals.
Keys to the Game:
1. The Sky Fighters have not played a game since May 4. They’ll need to shake off the rust early in this one.
2. Paul “P.J.” Lopez has been one of the best goalies in BTSH this season. Even in their losses, Cobra Kai has had a fighting chance in all of their games because of him.
3. The Sky Fighters are winless since their now infamous bet with the Happy Little Elves. Captain Amy Lott needs to pick a new name for the Elves soon, so her team can–you know–return its focus to hockey.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Goalie James Stein has provided the balance that they were lacking in 2007.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai. Forward Greg “Lysol” Altman is one of the most underrated players in the league in playmaking ability, intimidation, and (according to himself) general good looks. At least two of these qualities will be important in Sunday’s game.
Week 5 Preview
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008Hercules! Hercules!
GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (3-0-1) vs. Fresh Kills (1-2-0-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 5-2
Game Notes: The Denim Demons are clicking on all cylinders this season, averaging four goals for and one goal against per game. They boast one of the most lethal offensive arsenals in the league, featuring Michael Pereira, Micael Holmstrom, Lena Moy-Borgen, and Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens. In fact, the Demons have scored more goals in one game (eight vs. Mexican Standoff) than Fresh Kills has all season (seven). It will be up to Kevin “Tiny” Foster, Dave Sokolyansky, and Alexandre Frenette to rejuventate this sputtering offense. However, this veteran squad cannot be overlooked, as last season’s deep playoff run demonstrates.
Keys To The Game:
1. Michael Pereira was Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’s sleeper fantasy pick for this season. He currently leads the team with five goals, so–as usual–Rubens was right.
2. The last ten minutes of this game will be crucial for Fresh Kills. Against both the Sky Fighters and Cobra Kai, all of their goals came after the forty minute mark, but they also allowed four goals in the final ten minutes in their loss to Filthy Gorgeous.
3. Fresh Kills enforcer Heidi “The Maple Leaf Muscle” Karst is one of the most feared and intimidating players in BTSH. She has already been ejected from three games, including one for a karate chop to Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman’s esophagus. Her presence will keep the Demon goons in check.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills. If I didn’t pick them, Heidi would beat me up.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. The Fightin’ Rubens plan to unveil a new jersey for this game (for a sum total of about twelve), so they’ll have extra motivation for the win.
Week 4 Preview
Thursday, May 1st, 2008Go To Bread
GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (3-0) vs. Corlears Hookers (3-0)
Location: Corlears North, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
Game Notes: This game features a classic matchup of high-octane offense versus rock-solid defense. What The Puck currently boasts the most goals in the league with an average of six per game. Three of BTSH’s top six goal scorers wear orange, with Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer leading the way with six, and Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth and Tom MacDonald each chipping in four. The Corlears Hookers pride themselves in their impenetrable defense, allowing just one goal through three games. Goalie Chris Beauvois leads the league with two shutouts. These teams last met in the 2007 semi-finals, when the Corlears Hookers ended What The Puck’s hopes for a second consecutive championship with a shootout victory. What The Puck will be looking to even the score.
Keys to the Game:
1. Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman is a key cog in What The Puck’s well-oiled machine, but has missed the first three games. Whether he shows for this game could go a long way in deciding the winner.
2. Despite the Corlears Hookers’ apparent focus on defense, Brendan “Dutch” Kearney and Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney are still capable of scoring a lot of goals and breaking a game wide open.
3. Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz has recently started to learn the ancient art of voodoo. He was seen this week sporting an Albert “Al” Huang voodoo doll with several pins in it. Monitor Al’s performance closely.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Good defense stops good offense.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. Although their offense is leading the way this season, they also feature a solid defense anchored by grizzled veteran, Corey “Chongo” Winters.
