Posts Tagged ‘what the puck’

Playoff Preview: Championship Game

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

Fresh Kills Is Not Intimidated By Mike’s Canadian Scowl

#7 What The Puck (12-5-1-2) at #2 Fresh Kills (14-4-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-8-1
2011 Result: Week 1 – Fresh Kills 3, What The Puck 2 (OT-SO); Week 8 – Fresh Kills 3, What The Puck 0
Game Notes: At the beginning of the 2011 season, picking What The Puck to reach the championship game was a no-brainer.  Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer had just concluded an off-season shopping spree, pillaging the Rehabs of goaltender Anthony Romeo and forwards Brock Bosacker, Alex Doucette, and “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse.  Zimmer’s grand plan to ambush BTSH with his all-star squad was working to perfection through the spring, as What The Puck jumped out to an 8-1-0-1 record through ten games.  However, once the calendar turned to summer, injuries and lackluster attendance began to deplete Zimmer’s charges, and his Orange Juggernaut stumbled to a 1-4-1-1 finish, scoring an uncharacteristically low 11 goals in this seven game stretch.  Once the playoffs began, however, What The Puck returned to the form everyone expected to see, and the team dispatched the Sky Fighters, Denim Demons, and Butchers, allowing just one goal in each game.  What The Puck’s opponent in the championship game, Fresh Kills, is a familiar foe.  The two teams are meeting in the postseason for the fourth time since 2006, and as members of the Hackett Division, they faced off twice this season.  Captain David Sokolyansky, armed with a much smaller budget than Zimmer’s, took an alternate route to building his squad, preferring to add undervalued free agents and players other teams viewed as flawed.  This haul included Scott Lee, who was cast aside by the Mathematics because of his inability to finish.  Sokolyansky’s philosophy paid off, as Fresh Kills performed consistently throughout the season and claimed the Hackett Division crown on the penultimate weekend of the regular season.  However, all of this hard work was almost undone in the opening round of the playoffs, when Fresh Kills was extended to a shootout before putting away Mega Touch.  The next two rounds proceeded more like the regular season, as Sokolyansky’s bunch used stifling defense and opportunistic offense to eliminate the Dark Rainbows and defending champion Happy Little Elves.  Entering the finals, Fresh Kills now seems to have all signs pointing in its favor, as Sokolyanksy and his crew are the higher seed and swept What The Puck in the season series.  However, Zimmer is known for pulling rabbits out of hats throughout his illustrious BTSH tenure and may have one more trick up his sleeve.

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Semifinals Box Scores

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

Ashley Better Not Turn Around

#2 Fresh Kills 4, #14 Happy Little Elves 2
Fresh Kills: Ashley Singer (2), Mike Sokolyansky (2), Nick Hobbs (1), Dave Sokolyansky (1)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (3), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (1)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch

#7 What The Puck 2, #11 Butchers 1
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald (1), Hannah Stark (1)
Butchers: Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
Game Notes: Stark scored the game-winning goal with 1:30 remaining in regulation. Hawkins tied the game at one with five minutes remaining in regulation.

Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part II)

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Clearly, We Staged This Photo

#11 Butchers (11-7-1) at #7 What The Puck (11-5-1-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 2-0
2011 Result: Week  11 – What The Puck 4, Butchers 1
Game Notes: For the second straight season, despite entering as a double-digit seed, the Butchers find themselves in the semifinals of the BTSH playoffs.  This year, their run began with a round of 16 upset of the #6 seed Unicorns, when Chris DiMotta’s overtime goal sent the Butchers past their Donohue Division foe to the quarterfinals.  Their good fortune continued last week, as the Butchers sent #4 seed Poutine Machine, the MacNeil Division champions, packing with a hard-fought 2-1 victory.  However, the Butchers’ opponent, What The Puck, is also no stranger to the semifinals, even though the team was uncharacteristically eliminated in the opening round in 2010.  In spite of this setback, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut has looked like the What The Puck of old this year.  In the round of 16, the Puckers easily dispatched a fellow Hackett Division squad, the Sky Fighters, on the strength of Oliver Hartman’s four goal outburst.  Last week, Corey “Chongo” Winters’ second-half game-winning goal pushed them past the rival Denim Demons and into the semifinals.  Although history is on What The Puck’s side, as the team looks to advance to the championship game for the third time in six years, the upstart Butchers are eager to get their relatively new franchise to the next plateau.
Keys To The Game For The Butchers:
1. After an excellent regular season, goaltender Eric Ramirez has continued to cement his reputation as a playoff goalie.  He has allowed just three goals through two games, and his two wins this season bring his postseason record to 4-1.  These stats have vindicated co-captain Rachel Greene’s decision to pick Ramirez over Rob “Mungo” Gorden, Randy Locklair, and Tim “(S)crappy” Gray as her starting goalie when establishing the team.
2. The Butchers’ offense is carried by the 1-2 punch of co-captain Ben Bloom and “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis.  The duo combined for 30 of the team’s 47 goals in the regular season, and each contributed a goal in the round of 16 win against the Unicorns.
3.  After a subdued performance, Arnold Sanchez recently admitted that his head was never really in last week’s game against Poutine Machine.  Apparently, Jo-Ann Provencher had stolen his Sunday newspaper, so Sanchez never had a chance to read the color version of Marmaduke.  It is unclear whether WTP will attempt a similar ploy, but Michelle Doucet was recently spotted talking to his paperboy with a wad of $20 bills.
Keys To The Game For What The Puck:
1. After missing large stretches of the regular season, goalie Anthony Romeo has finally become the consistent force between the pipes that Larry envisioned when he poached Romeo from the Rehabs.  In What The Puck’s last playoff game, Romeo allowed just one goal, and claims to have made 29 saves.
2. Another one of Larry’s big offseason acquisitions was “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse.  He tallied five regular season goals before sustaining both upper and lower body injuries, which were supposed to sideline him for the rest of the season.  However, being the courageous gamer that he is, Skuse returned to action last week, despite having two broken arms, one broken leg, a broken clavicle, a bad haircut, and influenza.
3. Garrett Poston has been a consistent force for WTP in his first season of BTSH, but it seems his trash-talking has been far too cerebral to properly frustrate his opposition.  He merely left Demon forward Jeff Kamen confused–not agitated–when teasing, “I say, old sport, your boorish demeanor is reminiscent of that of Australopithecus bahrelghazali. Perchance is he of any relation?”
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Every championship game is better with a villain, and of the four teams left, What The Puck fits that bill the best.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. The Butchers make for a great story, but the still isn’t quite championship-caliber.
Watchability: 4 Kalbs.  A late October playoff game is sure to give the fans some thrills, but this game may take a backseat to Sunday’s other semifinal.

Week 18 Box Scores

Sunday, September 18th, 2011

Ollie Has Joined The Latin Kings

What The Puck 4, Sky Fighters 2
What The Puck: Oliver Hartman (5), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (5), Tom MacDonald (4), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (1)
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti (4), Dan Lee (1)
Goalie Win: Corey “Chongo” Winters

Filthy Gorgeous 6, Happy Little Elves 2
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (14), Matt Novick 2 (5), Susannah Pasquantonio (3), Sunny Mehra (1)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (12), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (5)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens

LBS, Inc. 5, Dark Rainbows 3
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 3 (11), Tommy Capatosta (7), Dustin Shutes (1)
Dark Rainbows: Josh Wilson 2 (10), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (7)
Goalie Win: Bill Tucker (on loan from Gut Rot)

Mega Touch 6, Gut Rot 2
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 5 (16), Jonathan Hanson (2)
Gut Rot: Gilligan1 2 (6)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman

La Famiglia 1, Butchers 0
La Famiglia: Alfred Liu (6)
Shutout: Jamie Batuwantudawe (1)
Game Notes: La Famiglia has secured the Prince of Weyersberg trophy for the best regular season record.

Mathematics 2, Poutine Machine 1
Mathematics: Andy Pratt (7), Eli Kazin (2)
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John (6)
Goalie Win: Joe Boshko

Unicorns 2, Cobra Kai 1 (OT)
Unicorns: Joe Polowczuk 2 (10)
Cobra Kai: Jasmine Sandler (1)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe
Game Notes: Polowczuk scored the winning goal with two seconds remaining in overtime.

Corlears Hookers 4, Denim Demons 1
Corlears Hookers: Jesse Scolaro 2 (4), Jason Eitel (11), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (3)
Denim Demons: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (2)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson

Tompkins Square Riots 4, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohme 2 (5), Craig Thompson (5), Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (10), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (4)
Goalie Win: Shane-o DeBlasio

Fresh Kills 0, Rehabs 0 (OT-SO)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (2), Hilary Meyer (1)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Ariel Imas (FK) and Kami Moore (REH).
Game Notes: Fresh Kills has clinched the Hackett Division and #2 seed in the playoffs.

Week 18 Preview

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

BREAKING: Commish Caught Cheating In 2009!

GAME OF THE WEEK
Sky Fighters (8-3-2-2) at What The Puck (8-5-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 8-3
Game Notes: Playoff seeding implications are on the line as these Hackett Division foes face off for the second time this season. When the Sky Fighters and What The Puck met in Week 14, the Fighters prevailed with a solid–though somewhat forgettable–3-1 victory. Since then, however, they have hit a skid, losing to the Happy Little Elves and the Dark Rainbows. The slump has greatly reduced the team’s chances at the division title and with it, the all-important second seed in the playoffs. What The Puck is in even worse shape. The team tied the Rehabs last week, which halted a four-game losing streak. This summer swoon, along with the team’s 0-4-0-1 record in Hackett Division games, has officially eliminated WTP from the division race. However, strong out of division play earlier in the season has provided a cushion to soften the recent fall, and Larry’s Orange Juggernaut sits squarely in the middle of the rather large BTSH bell curve. With two weeks remaining before the playoffs start, both the Sky Fighters and What The Puck will be looking to reverse their recent trends.
Keys To The Game:
1. As one of the few Sky Fighters to exhibit regular attendance, captain Dan Hopper has shouldered much of the offensive load himself. After scoring twice last week against the Dark Rainbows, Hopper is now tied for fifth in the league with 12 goals.
2. After dealing with a revolving door of goaltenders throughout the season, What The Puck has finally regained some stability between the pipes, as offseason acquisition Anthony Romeo is back to close out the season. Although it remains to be seen if this will result in more wins, at the very least, WTP will now have a definitive count on how many saves their goalie makes each game.
3. We haven’t seen Brock in a really long time, and we’re extremely concerned. He’s little.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Wait, it’s technically still summer?  Crap.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Martin has returned to the States after teaching another generation of Czechs how to play 50 minutes a game.
Watchability: 4 Watkinsons.  Just two points separate these evenly matched teams in the standings.

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