Posts Tagged ‘what the puck’
Week 16 Preview
Thursday, August 6th, 2009The Unicorns Are Planning Another Upset
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (8-6) vs. What The Puck (11-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 7-7
Game Notes: What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has had this game circled on his calendar for a month and a half. Week 11 saw What The Puck swagger into the first matchup between these Woodsworth Divisioin rivals, undefeated and cocky. However, with Adriano “Muscles Marinara” on the disabled list for Larry’s Orange Juggernaut, the Unicorns were victorious 3-2, handing WTP its first loss of the season. Since then, both teams have struggled, as the Unicorns have gone 1-3, and What The Puck has gone 2-2. Each team will look to shake out of the doldrums in this pivotal divisional tilt.
Keys To The Game:
1. After a four-game absence, What The Puck forward Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta returned with a bang, scoring five goals in the team’s 10-2 victory over Mega Touch last week. He is now the league’s second leading scorer with 17 goals on the season.
2. Although it is difficult to tell by just their first names, Unicorns 2009 acquisitions Susanna and Victoria are indeed sisters. Thus, they possess a chemistry on the court that few will ever comprehend.
3. With the Mad Dog out of town, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth took over the reins of captain for What The Puck last week. Is this a sign of a potential power struggle in the future?
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Larry will not let his team lose twice to the same opponent.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. They looked very impressive last week, and that was with onlyl half the roster present.
Watchability: 4 Ventolieris. It would have been 5, but Ant is playing in this game.
Week 13 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009A Closer Look At The Rubens Division
Most people consider the Rubens (often misspelled “Reubens”) Division to be the toughest of BTSH’s three divisions. It boasts the 2008 league champion (Fresh Kills) and runner-up (Corlears Hookers), as well as the only team that has yet to lose in regulation (Denim Demons). Players such as Jason Eitel, Jeff Kamen, Chris “Crush” O’Neil, Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli, and Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito are just a few of the stars who populate the Rubens Division.
Division Namesake:
Few names can polarize the BTSH community into feelings of vitriol and adoration as much as that of Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens. However, whether you love him or hate him (or are just indifferent), you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who can match his dedication and contributions to BTSH.
Week 11 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009Neck Hole Not Included
Ant’s New Shirt Was Conspicuously Missing
Although What The Puck may play like a well-oiled machine, the team hasn’t been on the same page fashion-wise all season. Primarily due to captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s crafty offseason acquisitions, the team has been forced to wear a fairly random assortment of semi-orange team uniforms. Some of the more humorous variations on the WTP shirt have been Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr.’s faded Islanders t-shirt, Zimmer’s bright orange Carlos Beltran mock jersey, Michelle Doucet’s $4 Wal-Mart generic, Adriano Bratta’s blinding day-glo top, and Ollie Hartman’s Teaches Hoops shirt he found in a Salvation Army.
Always quick to respond to team problems, Mad Dog took it upon himself to design a new look for his squad. Larry’s hot new style (termed “Version 9.0”) includes the usual orange and blue coloring with “WHAT the PUCK?” written across the front. “9.0” (signifying the team’s ninth season) is displayed in the bottom left corner. The new duds were so popular, even the injured players on the sidelines adorned them. Sadly, with What the Puck’s surprising loss to the Unicorns, the team is now 0-1 in their new jerseys.
Week 10 Box Scores
Sunday, June 14th, 2009LZ Phone Home
What The Puck 5, Rehabs 4
What The Puck: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (12), Tom MacDonald (9), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (7), Ollie Hartman (5)
Rehabs: Andy Levine 2 (2), Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (3), Alex “Villano VI” Zabala (1)
Corlears Hookers 2, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (6), Dan Thompson (2)
Filthy Gorgeous: Jon Rick (2)
Denim Demons 4, Fresh Kills 1
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (3), Mike Pereira (4), Steve Chernoski (1)
Fresh Kills: Patrick Moore (6)
Game Notes: Moore’s goal snapped the Denim Demons’ 189 minute shutout streak. Congratulations to Demons player Gabby Carson, who got married this weekend. May your first born child be a masculine child.
LBS, Inc. 2, Happy Little Elves 1
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon (13), Sam Anthony (6)
Happy Little Elves: Chris “Crush” O’Neil (6)
Game Notes: Anthony’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with 33 seconds remaining in regulation.
Dark Rainbows 3, Mexican Standoff 1
Dark Rainbows: P.T. Walkley 3 (6)
Mexican Standoff: Tommy (1)
Cobra Kai 2, Sky Fighters 1
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy (1), Enayet “Retail” Rasul (1)
Sky Fighters: Robert Kucera (1)
Game Notes: Murphy’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with four minutes remaining in regulation.
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Mathematics 2 (OT-SO)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (6), Sarah Moore (1)
Mathematics: Andy Pratt (7), Bradley Schmidt (2)
Shootout: Gouging Anklebiters win 1-0. Successful attempt by Charles DeFranco.
Game Notes: The Mathematics scored twice in the first five minutes of the second half to rally from a two-goal halftime deficit.
Unicorns 3, Tuques 2
Unicorns: Chris 2 (8), Ryan (2)
Tuques: Corey Long (2), The Peter Wilson (2)
Mighty Squirrels 4, Mega Touch 0
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Ramirez 2 (4), Eric Breitman (3), Carter Reich (3)
Shutout: Rob “Mungo” Gorden (1)
Week 10 Preview
Thursday, June 11th, 2009Meredith Should Chew With Her Mouth Closed
GAME OF THE WEEK
Rehabs (6-2) vs. What The Puck (8-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 8-5
Game Notes: The Rehabs were riding high prior to last weekend, as they had won five games in a row and showed no signs of slowing down. However, with the team potentially looking ahead to this week’s matchup with What The Puck, the Rehabs had their streak snapped abruptly and unexpectedly at the hands of the Happy Little Elves. Despite this setback, the team remains only four points behind What The Puck in the overall standings and one point behind the Denim Demons in the Rubens Division standings. As the Rehabs prepare to face their toughest opponent to date, they are happy to welcome back beloved veterans Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman and Stacy Kehoe. Their inpirational presence will help bring back the Rehabs’ $wagger, after the embarrassing loss last week. At this point, it’s old news that Larry’s dream team has been unstoppable this season. What The Puck is yet to lose, and only one of their games has been decided by a single goal. However, the Rehabs won the 2008 matchup between these two teams, so Mad Dog will not take this game lightly.
Keys To The Game:
1. What The Puck leads the league with 48 goals, 11 more than the next closest team. They currently boast three players in the top ten goal scorers: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (10), Tom MacDonald (8), and Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (8).
2. According to highly questionable statistics, Rehabs defender Gina Hackett averages eight blocked shots a game. Eight?! Eight, Bob.
3. What The Puck defender Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri has made no secret about his wishes to keep fiancée/Rehabs star Chantel Arroyo off the court. Ironically, Chantel has made no secret about her wishes to keep fiancé/team cancer Ant on the court.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. I’m not picking the team that just lost to the Elves.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. There’s really no reason to pick against them.
