The Three Red Dwarves for Sunday, Mar. 26, 2017
Well. Since I’m not being paid by BTSH (if you could call that getting paid), I don’t have to be nice to any of you fucks (if you could call that being nice). Here they are, your Three Red Dwarves, you animals. Yeah, the games haven’t even happened yet, but does it really matter? I look forward to reading the Facebook comments and finding out who y’all you think should have gotten a star. Wait, no. No I don’t. Eat a dick, BTSH, with love from the Lampoon’s Department of Celestial Metaphors. And choke on this.
By the way, a red dwarf is a type of actual star. These picks are not affiliated with the BTSH “stars of the week”, a registered trademark of the evil BTSH Corporation and its subsidiaries, or with the British science fiction comedy series Red Dwarf, or with any actual astronomical entities, yada yada yada, blah blah blah, blah blah bling.
Third Red Dwarf: Rain Fears the Wet Willies
They get us every time.
And fuck you too, Morton Salt Girl.
Second Red Dwarf: Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament
Again, since I’m not getting paid, I feel no guilt posting this shameless plug. Diane J. calls it (and I quote), “the best day of the year.” That’s serious and you can go to hell if you think otherwise. It’s April 29 and you get to play hockey all day and then drink all night for charity. What’s better than that? Sign up here. No, not here, numbskull, HERE (i.e. click the text that says “HERE”).
First Red Dwarf: Facebook rants Hsieh Yuan
I’d like to thank all of you for your Facebook rants that inspired Hsieh Yuan to go rogue and start this up. I’d also like to point out that some of these same Facebook ranters complained about much of what was written last year. Screw you guys. Hsieh Yuan FTW! All Hail Hsieh for bringing back the *real* media!! Unfortunately, Hsieh has already been banned from Facebook, again, for hawking counterfeit ice resurfacers.
Racist.