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Neck Hole Not Included

Ant’s New Shirt Was Conspicuously Missing
Although What The Puck may play like a well-oiled machine, the team hasn’t been on the same page fashion-wise all season.  Primarily due to captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s crafty offseason acquisitions, the team has been forced to wear a fairly random assortment of semi-orange team uniforms.  Some of the more humorous variations on the WTP shirt have been Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr.’s faded Islanders t-shirt, Zimmer’s bright orange Carlos Beltran mock jersey, Michelle Doucet’s $4 Wal-Mart generic, Adriano Bratta’s blinding day-glo top, and Ollie Hartman’s Teaches Hoops shirt he found in a Salvation Army.

Always quick to respond to team problems, Mad Dog took it upon himself to design a new look for his squad.  Larry’s hot new style (termed “Version 9.0”) includes the usual orange and blue coloring with “WHAT the PUCK?” written across the front.  “9.0” (signifying the team’s ninth season) is displayed in the bottom left corner.  The new duds were so popular, even the injured players on the sidelines adorned them.  Sadly, with What the Puck’s surprising loss to the Unicorns, the team is now 0-1 in their new jerseys.

Hurricane Sharif Blows Through
In addition the low pressure system passing through the New York Metropolitan area on Sunday, another force of nature made an appearance at Tompkins. Biking in from California, Mathematics Captain Emeritus Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi left a path of destruction, despite only a thirty minute appearance. Although many of his former teammates were happy to see him, they were left wondering if there was a purpose to his extremely brief visit, as he left before their game ended. Ironically, once the skies cleared and The Buzzsaw was gone, the Mathematics seemed to perform a lot better, as they staged an impressive comeback against Mexican Standoff.

Know Your Neighbors

Name: Trevor Tyrrell
Team: Dark Rainbows
Nickname: White Jesus
Rejected Nicknames: Black Jesus, T-Squared, Trev, Trevor Abs
Origin: Springfield, VA
College: Boston University
Early Aspirations: To sell out
First Job: Waiter at the Springfield Mall Bennigan’s
Current Job: Backup goalie for the Dark Rainbows
Hero: Sean Reynolds
Reason to Love Him: He brings a tent to the court every week so the Rainbows can stay dry.
Reason to Hate Him: Only one player can fit in the tent at a time.
Fast Fact: He attended Boston University with fellow Rainbows Sean Reynolds and P.T. Walkley, and the three have been BFFs ever since.
Favorite Things: Washington Capitals, term limits for governors, jorts, Bushwick Bill
Favorite Religious Deity: Vishnu
Least Favorite Things: shaving cream, West Virginia, mustard, the color pink
Best Known For: As a goalie, he allowed only one goal in four playoff games en route to the Dark Rainbows’ 2007 championship.
Hockey Comparison: “Cowboy” Bill Flett
Non-Hockey Comparison: Jesus of Nazareth
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: His outstanding play at both goalie and forward
Down the Road: Dark Rainbows starting goalie John Meyer is sidelined with a lower body injury.  As backup, Trevor fills in, and the Rainbows defeat Cobra Kai on Hockey Night in Tompkins.

Tags: 2009 season, Dark Rainbows, news and notes, too much Sharif, what the puck

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 pm and is filed under League Notes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.