Week 15 Preview
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GAME OF THE WEEK
ALL-STAR GAME: Weyersberg Conference vs. Schumacher Conference
Location: Tompkins West, 6:30 PM
All-Time Series: Weyersberg Conference leads 1-0
Game Notes: As the league heads into the August break, it is once again that time of the year for the stars of BTSH to showcase their skills in the annual All-Star Game. For the second year in a row, conference pride will once again be at stake as the Weyersberg all-stars face off against the Schumacher all-stars. Last season, the Weyersberg Conference took home bragging rights with a 3-2 victory on the strength of Happy Little Elf Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair’s two goals. This year, the universally admired Beauclair will once be in the limelight of this event, only this time as a coach. Already, he has imparted his “3 Is” mantra upon his squad. Beauclair notes, “Through intensity, integrity, and intelligence, the Weyersberg Conference will once again be victorious.” He and his co-coach, Elf teammate Melissa Budnick, will be opposed by the Schumacher coaches, Shafiq “Off Black” Perry of La Famiglia and Julie Katz of Mega Touch. Since being selected as a coach, Katz has not stopped smiling, commenting, “I’m so excited!” We all are, Julie. We all are.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Happy Little Elves have a checkered history as All-Star Game coaches. In 2009, the East New York team led by the Long Island loudmouth Rich Glanzer, as well as Stacy S. Kehoe, fell to the West 8-2. In addition to this embarrassing loss, Glanzer will be remembered for playing one 30-second shift that resulted in a -1 rating.
2. Perry’s La Famiglia teammate, Denis Miciletto, has been selected for the All-Star Game for the third straight year. In last season’s contest, he tallied one of the Schumacher Conference’s two goals. This season, as the league scoring leader, Perry will look to Miciletto to once again lead the charge for the Schumacher Conference.
3. Roommates, and early Best Duo Award favorites, Lisa Harrington (WTP) and Sarah Moore (GA) have been split on to opposite sides of this game. Rumor has it that their relationship has been a lot more frosty of late as a result of this schism. For example, Moore recently finished all the milk and refused to buy any more, leaving Harrington with dry Rice Krispies.
Watchability: 5 Shafiqs. This game harkens back to the Golden Age of BTSH, so it’s got to be worth watching. Or at least, Dave Ladanyi thinks so.
Mathematics (5-5-2-1) at Gouging Anklebiters (4-9)
Written by MacNeil Division correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 5-3
Game Notes: Sure, Math may have the series lead and are on a bit of a tear lately (see last week’s 3-0 win over the Hookers). Sure, their goalie is playing great. Sure, the Anklebiters can sometimes take a laissez faire approach to their games. Sure, Phil Donohue likes to work on creating the perfect Bloody Mary in between shifts. But Eli and Derek picked my team to lose to the Rehabs last week and then didn’t even have the common decency to show up to the courts so they could take their well-deserved drubbing from my team. So screw you, Math. I hope the Anklebiters make you cry like little girls.
Sven’s Pick: ANKLEBITERS! ANKLEBITERS! ANKLEBITERS!
Watchability: Who doesn’t want to see DEli hang their heads in shame prior to the All-Star Game? 4 rabid pit bulls.
Fresh Kills (9-3-1) at Denim Demons (8-4-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 6-5
Game Notes: Both Fresh Kills and the Denim Demons enter this Weyersberg Conference battle as division leaders, despite differing results last week. Three different players scored a goal for Fresh Kills in the team’s solid 3-1 victory against Hackett Division opponent, LBS, Inc. The Denim Demons, meanwhile, were uncharacteristically lit up by their Rubens Division foe, the Happy Little Elves, and lost 8-4.
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons. As noted, giving up eight was very uncharacteristic of them.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. I can’t make heads or tails of the Demons right now, but I do know Fresh Kills has played superbly as of late.
Watchability: 4 Shafiqs
Cobra Kai (4-6-1-2) at Tompkins Square Riots (2-10-0-1)
Written by Donohue Division correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Fine. I may be a deadbeat captain, but at least I’ve got my shit together enough to send two players to the All-Star Game and vote for a goalie or two. It seems TSR was unable to do that. I’m not one to celebrate the shortcomings of others, but…actually, I am TOTALLY one to celebrate the shortcomings of others. Whatever, TSR. Way to make me look a little better.
Monica’s Pick: Cobra Kai. They gave us a good run last week, and this post is all about me.
Watchability: Three French Hens
Corlears Hookers (8-5) at Filthy Gorgeous (8-5)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 8-1
Game Notes: When these Rubens Division rivals last met, Filthy Gorgeous finally snapped an eight-game losing streak to the Corlears Hookers with a 4-1 victory in Week 6. Suvin “The Guru” Malik and Matt Novick each contributed two goals to the winning effort, which kick-started a six-game winning streak for Filthy Gorgeous.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous
Watchability: 4 Shafiqs. These teams are tied for second place in the Rubens Division, just one point back of the Denim Demons.
Rehabs (3-6-1-3) at LBS, Inc. (8-4-0-1)
Written by Rubens Division correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 9-4
Game Notes: Abby is watching TNA Impact Wrestling. Preview coming soon…
Dark Rainbows (6-6-0-1) at What The Puck (8-4-0-1)
Written by Tuques beat reporter Rich Glanzer
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 6-5
Game Notes: On June 26, WTP was atop of the hockey world, sitting in first place in BTSH while sneering down at their opponents. However, their second annual Summer Swoon and July 31’s stealing deadline has forced captain Larry Zimmer to make some hard decisions. Meanwhile, the Rainbows are at the bottom of the Hackett Division. Expect a spirited game from these Original Six members. The Rainbows will have the lead late, but late goals by Stacy Kehoe and Carlos Beltran will tie it up for WTP, and Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli will put the game away in OT to complete the comeback. However, the game ball will go to WTP goalie, Hilary.
Rich’s Pick: Tuques 4, Unicorns 1
La Famiglia (9-1-1-2) at Unicorns (7-4-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 12-2
Game Notes: These Donohue Division teams last met in Week 3, when the Unicorns beat La Famiglia 1-0 in overtime. Since then, the former Tuques have won eight of ten games to seize control of the Donohue Division. They currently hold a five-point lead over the second-place Unicorns, and can move to the precipice of the division title with a win.
Eli’s Pick: La Famiglia. Rich seems to think they’ll win, and when is he ever wrong?
Derek’s Pick: La Famiglia. My prediction: Tuques 4, Unicorns 1.
Watchability: 3.5 Shafiqs
Gut Rot (2-11) at Mega Touch (3-9-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mega Touch leads 2-0
Game Notes: This is the first meeting of the season between these two struggling MacNeil Division teams. Despite having the worst record in the league, Gut Rot stole a victory from the Tompkins Square Riots last Sunday after Tom tied the game with two seconds remaining in regulation. Mega Touch, on the other hand, lost its fourth game in a row, 4-2 to La Famiglia.
Eli’s Pick: Mega Touch
Derek’s Pick: Mega Touch
Watchability: 2 Shafiqs. With just five wins between these two teams, the league’s focus will not be on this game.
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Poutine Machine (9-2-1-1) at Butchers (7-5-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Butchers lead 1-0
Game Notes: The Gravy and Cheese Curd Juggernaut rolls on. With just 5 games remaining in the regular season, L’Appareil has a stranglehold on a top playoff seed and have planted their knockoff Nordiques flag in the Tompkins Square Park asphalt. The talent is undeniably there; the question is whether they can stay focused and handle success. ‘Tis a far different thing to win playoff games as the favorite. The Butchers continue to be competitive from week to week, but have yet to put together the kind of run that would really separate them from the BTSH pack.
Vegas Line: Poutine minus 2
Jesse the Greek says: Two points is a big number to cover, even for a top team. Take the points. Butchers will keep it close.
Watchability: 3.5 Fabricated Debt Crisis Stories
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Sky Fighters (8-2-2-1) at Happy Little Elves (6-4-1-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 3-2
Game Notes: Big game this week between two of the top teams, and a rematch of last year’s playoff semifinal. The Sky Fighters, locked in a tie for first place, need a win to keep pace with division rival Fresh Kills. As discussed last week in this space, the Elves march to their own beat, which they rode to an 8-4 dismantling of the Denim Demons last week. It appears they are peaking at the right time.
Vegas Line: Pick em.
Jesse the Greek says: Elves. This week, at least, reckless energy trumps corporate efficiency.
Watchability: 4 cases of Beiber Fever
Tags: 2011 Season, all-star game, Gouging Anklebiters, Weekly Previews, what the puck