Week 18 News and Notes
Hello Czech Republic!
As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we, the writers, thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:
1. While the bulk (96%) of site traffic comes from the United States, one of the highest ranked foreign sources is the Czech Republic with nearly 20 visits in the last month. Undoubtedly, this can be attributed to Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s large following in his fatherland. However, a more interesting trend may be that Uganda ranks directly behind the Czech Republic with approximately 16 visitors. We speculate that this trend can be attributed to Jason Eitel’s large following in his fatherland.
2. Unsurprisingly, more than 90% of the site’s New York state visits are from New York City. The next three highest locations all come from western Suffolk County (Ronkonkoma, Yaphank, and Brentwood) and account for a combined 4%. According to league registration records, a certain Happy Little Elf, who is one of the site’s most frequent commenters, happens to reside and work in this region.
3. The top keywords that have brought people to the BTSH site are as follows: “btsh”, “btsh.org”, and “btsh tuques”. Clearly, the “Tuques hockey.” marketing campaign has worked, as the team is now one of the hottest trends on btsh.org. Already, a “Cobra Kai hockey.” campaign is in the works for next season.
4. The title for most searched individual on btsh.org belongs to the Rehabs’ own Stacy Kehoe, the namesake for the Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace. The following keywords all made the top 20 searches (in rank order): “stacy kehoe new york,” “stacy kehoe btsh,” “stacy kehoe pics,” and “stacy kehoe.” We can only imagine what type of “stacy kehoe pics” one might be searching for, but if nothing else, we do recommend the photo from the 2008 Week 3 Box Scores. Other high-rated Rehabs searches include “chantel arroyo,” “btsh rehabs,” and “romeo goalie rehabs.”
5. Although league veteran Zack Tinkelman of the Denim Demons ranks nowhere near the top keyword searches, his father, Joe Tinkelman, cracks the top 25. In fact, he ranks as the most popular Demons-related search, almost doubling the next in line, “chernoski.”
So Where Were All Those People?
As you may have noticed, several of BTSH’s most prominent players were conspicuously absent from league play last Sunday. However, their weekend was not without competitive hockey, as they were busy representing New York City at tournaments in Montreal and Ocean City, Maryland.
Filthy Gorgeous’ “Gentleman” James Pereira led one squad (named Metro) into the men’s competition of Ocean City. Although the team did not advance to the playoffs of the tournament, Pereira notes that all of the team’s games were close, and the team proved they could compete with anyone. He adds, “[Anthony] Romeo played great in net by making big saves and keeping us in games. Overall, we had a great mix of players this time around, bringing various assets to the lineup.” Other highlights of the trip included Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato making out with absurd women, whiskey shots, peeing in public, “1940” chants on the bus ride back to the hotel, Papa John’s pizza fest, and (non-BTSH member) Chuck Solomon fist-fighting Susannah.
Mexican Standoff’s Haanwa, captain of the co-ed team in Ocean City (Moffo), sums up her squad’s tourney experience: “[We] returned to Ocean City with our strongest tournament performance to date. We came out of regular games in second place after one tie and one well deserved win. Unfortunately, during Sunday’s playoffs, we weren’t able to hold our winning position. But we drowned our sorrows in beer and crab cakes, so now the loss is but a faint memory.”
Liza Watts of Filthy Gorgeous was the lone BTSH player to play in the women’s division of the Ocean City event. Her team, the Bruisers, won the tournament.
Peter Putka also led a small team (Bullmoose) into battle in Montreal. His team lost in the quarterfinals of the competition, despite having only one sub. Otherwise, this and this sum up the weekend.
Know Your Neighbor
Name: Rob Muggeo
Team: Happy Little Elves
Nickname: Smash
Rejected Nicknames: Pulverize, Hockey Rob, Crash, Hatchet
Origin: Uniondale, NY
College: Colorado School of Mines, New York Institute of Technology
Quote: “Rich, I had a dream…”
Early Aspirations: To restore Long Island’s rapidly diminshing water table
First Job: Stable boy at Mott’s Pony Farm
Current Job: Architect
Hero: William Levitt
Reason to Love Him: Although he is one of BTSH’s oldest members, he continues to play every week at a high level.
Reason to Hate Him: He’s often found near Rich Glanzer.
Fast Fact: Rob believes that Long Island has the best beaches for surfing in the world.
Favorite Things: New York Rangers, westbound lanes of the Southern State Parkway, Growing Pains, eggplant parmesan
Least Favorite Things: New York Islanders, Who’s The Boss?, shoddy design, electric lime green
Best Known For: Being a part of the Demolition line with Garrett “Ax” Carrino and Chris “Crush” O’Neill.
Hockey Comparison: Christopher Higgins
Non-Hockey Comparison: Gallagher
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Him: His distinct similarities to every other player on his team…except Eric ” El Guapo” DiPierri.
Down the Road: After Ben Chadwick forces him to retire from BTSH, Rob turns his attention to local politics and proposes a plan that would make Long Island the 51st state. Unhappy with his tax dollars being spread across the entire state, Rob’s plan would keep all money within Nassau and Suffolk counties. His campagin eventually comes to fruition when the New York State legislature approves his proposal, officially making Long Island a sovereign entity. Oddly, no one in the rest of New York seems to mind.
Tags: 2009 season, btsh.org, Happy Little Elves, news and notes, Rehabs
I encourage more people to search for “chernoski.” I’m down 11% in popularity this week.
First off, Ronkonkoma and Yaphank maybe me, (OK definitely is me) but Brentwood?? I’m innocent.
Secondly, you’re taking two shots at me this week?!?!? I do all the work to secretly get the dirt on Rob and you take two shots at me?!?!?
I’d boycott but I want to insult you more later after the hangover I currently have wears off.
And what’s with him not having an Elf jersey when you put the picture up?? You guys are such Elfists.
Wouldn’t an Elfist be someone who’s in favor of the Elves?
I was thinking that, and a rejected nickname was Anti-Elfite. But since you’ve constantly gone against the color of lime green, the racist/Elfist thing seemed to fit.
OK, derek, my cover is blown. My name is joe and I’m a btsh-oholic. (Hi Joe.) If I don’t get regular news from bruise early in the week, Demons start to visit my collective unconscious. It’s a pernicious thing. When they visit my dreams, Demons (dressed in Denim, of course, except for Coach-the-Goalie who wears other assorted interesting garb) tell me that the only cure is a Demon-won Cup (what do they call that Cup?– don’t tell me). But with Micael Holmstrom (how do you get those two dots over the o?) gone to Sweden, a Denim-cup cure looks elusive this year— BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
I’m not sure why Brentwood is coming up as a location that provides a high number of visits to the BTSH site but I will say that I grew up in North Bay Shore, (which is on the Brentwood border). Despite being located in a fairly non-traditional hockey area, we had a fairly vibrant array of street hockey enthusiasts living in the neighborhood. Of course, this was like over twenty-five years ago, but apparently this hasn’t changed.
Dave the Goalie
Because Hockey Rich is so humble, what he didn’t tell The Media is that the hits from Yaphank are actually due to the fact that he’s got the Suffolk County Police Commissioner following our every move. You’d better check Rich for a wire before you speak to him in the future. He’s gonna bring us all down.
As for Tuques Hockey being a regular search result, I can confidently say that it probably the list of former NHL players looking to join our ranks as free agents. Since the KHL and NHL have lacked a proper transfer agreement, some guys have expressed interest in playing for the Red and Yellow squad. Most stipluate that they must play on a line with either Denis or The Peter Wilson. We’re still working on the details of their contracts. The marketing has indeed worked!
why is someone searching for me on the internet? WHY?
I’m not a rat Brian. I wont sell anyone out. Except Chadwick.
Stacy, I still have your B-day present in my car. I was like WTF is this??? And then I remembered!
I feel that some people (stacy) are worried that our noble BTSH bloggers have published these somewhat unnerving search results and that’s a bad thing. It is admittedly somewhat Orwellian. But instead of being freaked out by it, I think we should embrace it. Because of our writers, my last name ended up in google search results much more than it normally would have, helping a struggling artist’s online cause. For that – I am thankful.