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Maybe This Is Why Anita Left

GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Mathematics (0-0-0-1) at Rehabs (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-0-1
Game Notes: Due to a flurry of offseason player movement between the Mathematics and Rehabs, this once friendly rivalry has become a lot more intense.  The Mathematics struck the first blow with the additions of league sideshow Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez and Sean “$howJu” McClain.  While both served as key components of the Rehabs’ offensive attack last season, the Mathematics targeted Melendez for his goaltending skills and their own amusement.  In retaliation for these acquisitions, the Rehabs added former Mathematic Anita Khar to their roster.  Although Khar’s ice hockey background makes her one of the top female players in the league, the Rehabs may have added her to fill the tomfoolery void left by $howT!m3 and $howJu’s departures.
Keys To The Game:
1.  Despite losing their opener to Poutine Machine in a shootout, the Mathematics controlled the majority of play throughout the game.  They will need to maintain this control to beat the explosive Rehabs.
2. While the Rehabs were victorious in overtime against the Happy Little Elves last week, they blew leads of 2-0 and 3-2.  This may play to the Mathematics’ strength, as the team overcame several halftime deficits last season, in addition to one last week.
3. This game marks the culmination of a week-long birthday celebration for Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez.  Other events include a flip-cup tournament, a piñata, and an ice cream social.
Watchability: 4.5 $howJus.  The personalities on both sides of the ball should make this a very exciting game.

Happy Little Elves (0-0-0-1) at Corlears Hookers (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-0
Game Notes: This game will mark the start of a grueling five-game road trip for the Happy Little Elves.  With such an unpleasant idiosyncrasy in the schedule, one has to wonder whether this was intentionally done.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers
Derek’s Pick: Derek will be reffing this game, but Rich Glanzer still wanted a pick.  So, Corlears Hookers.
Watchability: 2.5 $howJus

Dark Rainbows (0-1) at What The Puck (1-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5
Game Notes: What The Puck avenged its championship game loss with a sound defeat of the Sky Fighters last week.  The team will look to stay hot against the Dark Rainbows, who could not manage a goal against the Unicorns and Craig “Ug” LaCombe.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  When everyone shows up, they’re still the most talented team in the league.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck
Watchability: 3.5 $howJus

Denim Demons (1-0) at La Famiglia (0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 8-1
Game Notes: With La Famiglia captain Dave Ladanyi already hinting that he may cancel this game due to “rain fears”, Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has rented a large tent to pitch over the entirety of Tompkins Square Park.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons.  They looked extremely sharp last week.
Watchability: 3 $howJus

LBS, Inc. (0-1) at Filthy Gorgeous (0-1)
Written by Rubens Division Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 3-2-1
Game Notes: LBS, Inc. is the 400-pound woman in a muumuu pushing a shopping cart piled high with fishsticks and Swiffer refill packs through Gristedes. You act inconspicuous and try to stay out of her way, but next thing you know, she’s eating the organic carrots right out of your basket. You’re really gonna say something? Didn’t think so. Filthy Gorgeous won’t know what hit them. 5-1 LBS.
Watchability: 4.5 $howJus.  Neither team wants to start the season 0-2, with two division losses.

Gouging Anklebiters (0-1) at Butchers (0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: With Haanwa Chau’s massive investigation into potential Anklebiter hazing violations under way, the team may not be able to focus on its Donohue Division foe, the Butchers.
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters.  So far, they haven’t been found guilty of anything.
Derek’s Pick: Butchers.  There’s a lot of talent here.  The team just needs time to gel.
Watchability: 3 $howJus

Gut Rot (0-1) at Fresh Kills (1-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Despite a 6-0 victory in last Sunday’s regional telecast of Hockey Night in Tompkins, Fresh Kills captain Dave Sokolyansky was not pleased with his team’s effort.  Thus, he scheduled an impromptu 30 minute practice session immediately following the team’s win.  Should Fresh Kills produce another sub-standard effort this Sunday, at least by Sokolyansky’s tough criteria, the team will be forced to practice again.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Former captain Kevin “The Planet” Foster would never schedule a post-game practice, because he’s just a sensitive guy.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  They’ll play hard, as a 6:30 practice is after most of their bedtimes.
Watchability: 2 $howJus

Sky Fighters (0-1) at Unicorns (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: These two teams last met in the first round of the 2009 playoffs, where the Sky Fighters prevailed in a 1-0 overtime thriller. Greg Infanti’s game-winning goal was assisted by Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, who was required to play the entire game due to captain Dan Hopper’s brilliantly executed Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka strategy.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters
Watchability: 3.5 $howJus.  The Unicorns stout defense should keep the game close throughout.

Mega Touch (1-0) at Cobra Kai (1-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 4-0
Game Notes: In order to protect his head from the blazing sun, Cobra Kai forward Will Kuhns donned a female teammate’s pink hat for the second half of last Sunday’s game against La Famiglia, and promptly scored two goals.  Since the hat brought him luck, Kuhns has vowed to continue wearing it until Cobra Kai loses.  In response, Mega Touch forward Joe Lops, who also scored two goals last Sunday, has promised to wear a fez for the duration of this game.
Eli’s Pick: Cobra Kai.  Kuhns wears the pink hat for at least another week.
Derek’s Pick: Cobra Kai
Watchability: 2.5 $howJus

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
Tompkins Square Riots (1-0) at Poutine Machine (1-0)
Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Rumors are swirling that the Riots’ as-yet-unveiled uniforms will be replica NYPD uniforms, with plastic shields, batons, taser guns, and tear gas — an allusion to the events that transformed the park in the early 1990s. Someone even said they will have a horse. Poutine Machine’s desperate attempt to embrace Canadian culture, however, seems forced. Maybe they hope that poutine will be the next big NYC culinary trend (like wrap-and-smoothie shops and Italian tapas). Maybe it’s just Svatrick’s cry for help. Both these teams clearly have talent and are on the way up. Riots in a close one. It’s Regional Hockey Night in TSP!
Watchability: 3 $howJus.  At least one of these MacNeil Division rivals will be undefeated after this game.

Survivor Pool

Adriano Bratta (WTP) – Cobra Kai
Ben Chadwick (HLE) – Denim Demons
Jesse Kalb (But) – Denim Demons
Dan Owens (FG) – Denim Demons
Danny Polinsky (DD) – Corlears Hookers
Peter Prohaska (GA) – Fresh Kills

Tags: 2010 season, Mathematics, Rehabs, Weekly Previews

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 2010 at 9:49 pm and is filed under Weekly Previews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.