btsh.org

GAME OF THE WEEK
What the Puck at Dark Rainbows
1:00 pm, East Court

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it’s time for universal BTSH daycare. Yes, Donovan and his pal found ways to entertain themselves last week. But what if Sean really needed that stick? Someone would’ve ended up crying and our money would be on the Dark Rainbows Captain. Meanwhile, Hannah spent the bulk of last week’s WTP game making sure her little guy didn’t make it “Too Many Men” for Orange Crush. He definitely wanted in on the action.

What does all this mean for this week’s game? Distractions, lots of distractions. WTP and the Rainbows are actually very similar teams, so it’s all down to doing the little things right. Winning the battles in the corners. Putting just the right spin on the ball. Stealing “Ginger Balls”‘s phone and texting John Nielsen the wrong game time.

It’s a game of inches between these too and no one will be surprised if this one ends in a shoot out. 

Just make sure the OT doesn’t cut into anyone’s nap time, ok refs?

Gouging Anklebiters at Filthy Gorgeous
2:00 pm, East Court
by Bill “It Ain’t easy Being Smooth” Tucker

Felled by the stifling defense of the Gremlins last week, Phil Donahue’s band of fun loving malcontents looks to rebound against the Dirty Beauties.  According to the Prestigious Yet Imaginary Records Department of the ORG, the Anklebiters’ Joe “We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Last Name” P. has yet to score a goal this season.  If he has, ignore this journalistic insight as hangover induced malarkey.  The one thing I do know is the Anklebiter’s Ace Bar supremacy.  At the post game festivities, expect Craig to say something hilariously offensive, Caroline to draw dirty pictures on trivia score sheets and Courtney “Coco” Butler to smile a lot.  The Anklebiters kinda rock like that.

Before they even get to the bar, they face a determined Filthy Gorgeous team still looking for their first victory.  Lighting the lamp has been an issue for the Valiant V-Necks so far this season.  Despite good team play and the solid goaltending of Dan Owens, 4 goals in 3 games ain’t gonna cut it in a division comprised of the Purple People Eaters, last year’s champs and Romeo’s Raiders.  Luckily, Filthy has a bold plan: clone James Periera, who looks to be getting off the snide.  Hopefully for Filthy, the procedure is more The Clones of Bruce Lee than Verne Troyer if they hope to topple an Anklebiters squad hungry to avenge a loss of their own.

Dr. Hunter S. Tompkins Official Prediction:  Zounds!  My spot on prediction of last week’s Biters / Gremlins game has shaken me to my core.  What combination of mescaline, bleach and Folgers decaffeinated coffee crystals spurred this premonition?  To know the future is to limit your options, so I’ll make a completely blind guess this week.  No offense to Monica and the rest of the Gorgeous crew, 3-0 in favor of the Biters.  

LBS. at Mathematics
3:00 pm, West Court

While we struggle with our own internal conflicts, the defending champs will struggle with figuring out how to get balls past the Mathematics’ 7 foot goalie. Seriously guys, it would take two Seths to make one Will Gahagan. Is that really fair? Not only does the Man Mountain take up a lot of room in net, he’s an effective deterrent against Ken and Karsten’s patented “charge to the net” strategy. LBS will have to rely on secondary scoring from some of their underrated second liners like Ali Chenitz & Jason Bogdaneris. Of course, Math have a few non-Norris weapons up their sleeves as well. Andy Pratt remains an ageless wonder on wing and Brad Schmidt, Adam Langer and “the Lizs”.

In the end, we expect the LBS. age and cunning to edge out Math’s youth and enthusiasm. But it will be close.
Our prediction: LBS 4, Mathematics3 (OT)

Gremlins at Butchers
4:30 pm, West Court
by Abby “Just the Facts” Meistermann

This game finds both teams are fresh off Week 3 wins: the Butchers made mincemeat of the Tompkins Square Riots and the Gremlins gouged the Anklebiters. However, the Gremlins go into this match-up with a -4 goal difference (thanks to Fresh Kills) to the Butchers +1. Gremlins’ goalie, Jamie (Without a roster I’m basing this on the Week 1 box scores.), has his/her (Sorry, still don’t know!) work cut out him/her (Maybe both? That’d be cool.) if Butchers bring the big guns of Revechkis, Greene, McMasters, and Bebeared Ben Bloom . However, Caitlin’s never been one to shy away from a challenge: she’ll be sure to rally Coco (Ed’s note: we’re well aware that Coco has been on the Anklebiters for two years. Apparently no one has told Abby yet), Stripe, and Mark into action. With both teams on the rise and around the same point in the standings, this game should be evenly matched and probably a solid game to watch.

Things to expect: The sequel to this game on July 21, 2013, being hailed as inferior.
Things to hope for: Gremlins being busted for performance enhancing drug use.

Poutine Machine at Happy Little Elves
5:30 pm, West Court
by Eli “It’s Better Than Doing Homework” Kazin

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 18th, 2013 at 11:32 am and is filed under Weekly Previews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.