Week 5, Not 3 Stars
We can’t all be winners at life, and remember, with every winner, comes a loser. We at The Authority feel its better to let someone lose with dignity and grace, then rub it in. Except when it comes to these three.
Obligatory Simpson’s character picture so Hopper and Chadwick read.
3rd Not Star (-*, -*, -*)
Noelle decided to party on this yacht instead of coming to the Hookers game this Sunday. She explains, “I have 3 goals, and every other girl has 0 or 1. No girl on the Hookers can score besides me, and no way another girl will get her second goal. That would mean she’s as good as Elly.”
Unfortunately for Noelle, while she was wearing high socks on a yacht, Jackie and Sarah Moore were proving her wrong.
Better show up next game Noelle. You are still in the lead, but only by 1 now.
2nd Not Star (-*,-*)
Mr. Met
As the rain poured down through Tompkins Square, the players screamed and ran with fear. I saw Mr. Met smile with delight realizing the 4:30 teams had no fight.
But as Mr. Met tried to take the field, Mega Touch refused to yield, do you recall what was revealed the hour, that Mega Touch stayed??
It was revealed that Mega is really stupid for hiding under a tree near a gate during a lightning storm. That’s what was revealed.
First Not Star (-*)
We have sad news to report. Dead Peter Lang and Dead Random Riots Player now have a new buddy who has fallen. Dead Big Bluey.
Sam disrespectfully refs where Big Bluey used to stand. Bob W. can’t even bear to watch.
As you can see…Big Bluey’s evil twin brother Meanie Greenie murdered Bluey, and has taken over new land.
The battle between Meanie and Mr. Met should be epic.
Tags: 2014 Season, Three Stars