Week 5 Preview Part 1
This has been an exhausting week for me. Derk and Elly are watching the Rangers Game 7, so now I’m forced to write this preview a day earlier than I wanted to. But I’d rather not get into a public spat about how much I’ve been carrying them this whole season.
Sometimes I do so much, and they do so little…I feel like an old Papua woman.
(BTW, my obligatory Becky Norris mention is this Papua woman can beat Becky in arm-wrestling)
So now that we got this drama out of the way its time for our Game of the Week! Before the season, a Mega-Poutine matchup did not seem like it would garner a ton of GOTW action, but last week, both teams pulled off impressive upsets and deserve The Authority’s attention.
GOTW: Mega Touch vs. Poutine Machine
Keys for Mega:
Don’t be this kid.
Do you know who this kid is? No, you don’t. And you don’t, because he’s a loser. Word is he lost his basketball game and his father disowned him and his mother tells her friends he’s adopted.
Be these people!!
OK, don’t be Alex, you don’t want to be him. But Eric is really good at hockey, and Julie rides on his coattails well.
So as Adrian said to Rocky while she was dying in Rocky II (not really a spoiler alert since she wasn’t really dying)…”WIN!!”
Keys for Poutine:
Believe! Elly and myself both picked Poutine to come in last and Derk picked you bastards to come in 2nd to last.
But after 2 OT wins, you have a real shot to go 3-1. A win here would go a long way to making The Authority eat crow.
Prediction:
I’m assuming Sad Jamie will play for one of these teams since he has played in every game this season. Jamie is sad, because Jamie never wins (except at Rachel Greene’s rigged charity auctions). Sad Jamie has already lost with Mega once…he’ll lose with Mega again. Poutine 3, Mega 2.
Derek’s Pick: I stood with Poutine last week–even against the surging Reeeehabs–and I’ll do it again. 3-0 Poutine.
Eli’s Pick: Poutine has not had to use Sad Jamie…or Angry Jamie…or any other type of Jamie. And why would they, since their goalie, Matt Leonard, has been solid all year. Poutine with another 3-2 overtime victory.
Other Games
Tompkins Square Riots at Tuques
I love a prove me wrong game. Prove me wrong Riots. 6 free beers if you win! Though the rule is if you lose by 7 you owe me a freebie.
Prediction, no one will owe anyone a beer. Tuques 5, Riots 1
Eli’s Pick: I see nine beers in this photo, which equals the number of goals that will be scored. La Famiglia 6, Tompkins Square Riots 3.
Derek’s Pick: Someone will eventually slow down La Famiglia, but it won’t be the Riots. 5-1 Tuques.
Mathematics at Dark Rainbows
What’s going on Rainbows? You shouldn’t be 0-3. I mean I taught Bernstein how to play defense and all. Meanwhile, Math is 2-1, and their only blemish is to the defending champs. The Rainbows actually once beat the Hookers to win the championship in 2007, in the last game before the Modern Era (2008-present) began. So if the Hookers beat Math and the Rainbows beat the Hookers…the Rainbows should be able to beat Math. Prediction: Gentlemen Justin Perras scores a couple of goals as Math proves logic wrong and beats the Rainbows, 5-1.
Rehabs at Fresh Kills
That’s right Rehabs, if you would have beaten Poutine you would have gotten GOTW. But you didn’t. You let it all slip away. Forever.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, MDF is wearing her Butchers shirt.
FK 5
Rehabs 2
Derek’s Pick: Last week, I picked against the Rehabs just to be a jerk…but I was right. In sticking with that theme, I’ll say, Fresh Kills 5, Rehabs 1.
Eli’s Pick: Are you still being a jerk by picking against the Rehabs? Either way, it’s the right move…Fresh Kills 4, Rehabs 2.
Gut Rot at Filthy Gorgeous
The answer to Double Em’s question is Filthy Gorgeous. Man they tore apart LBS, Inc. last week. But unfortunately, the answer to his question is also Gut Rot.
What the hell Gutty…you guys were predicted to be really good this season.
I actually love this matchup for you and am making this my Glanzer Upset Special. 5-4 Gutty in OT. I get a beer from you if you win.
Derek’s Pick: Gut Rot made s large step last Sunday by scoring their first goals of the season. They won’t win this game, but they’ll continue to progress with a close game against a Tagliarino Conference (the best conference!) team. 4-3 Filthy.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy does what they couldn’t do in the playoffs last year…beat Gut Rot, 4-2.
Tags: 2014 Season, Mega Touch, Poutine Machine, Weekly Previews
I gotta say, I don’t understand how Mega beating Gut Rot is an “impressive upset.”
We’ve traditionally fared pretty well against them, but I guess that doesn’t fit the media’s #shittynarrative
(no disrespect intended to the ‘Rot, some disrespect intended to the media.)
If I score two goals this week, I will buy beers for everyone on Math and everyone on the ‘bows and Richie too. Offer only valid if we win. #justinhero
Devlin, all three members of The Authority picked Gut Rot to win. Hence it was an upset. (Kinda like when the Elves beat the Sky Fighters in 2009 and I predicted it so I don’t consider it an upset but the rest of the league did. Or at least Derk…he did).