Week 7 – Game Previews, Part 1
GAME OF THE WEEK
Mathematics at Happy Little Elves
3:00 pm, Tompkins Square East
Editor’s Note: Did you really think Rich and Eli wouldn’t have something to say about this game?
Game Preview 1: The Elves Perspective
by Rich Glanzer
So as everyone in the BTSH Universe knows my birthday is May 23, and every year I celebrate my bday with my real family, the Happy Little Elves the Sundayclosest to the day. This is a big day for my opponents as every captain wants to be the team that can make legendary status and beat the Elves on my bday game. Last year Derk & Elly decided the Lbs. were worthy, and we crushed them and ruined their season when we beat them 6-1. They were basically useless after that game and no one remembers what they did after. (Cue the emails from Ken/Sasha)
Elves 5 Math 2. I prove why I’m a hero and score my first goal of the season.
Game Preview 2: The Math Perspective
by Eli “Belts” Kazin
The Happy Little Elves are looking good with a 5-1 record, but this week, the Elves face a stiff test as the Mathematics come calling. The Elves and Mathematics have built an underrated, but generally fun, rivalry over the years. Remember how Rich constantly mentions the Elves winning their first game ever (the real Miracle at Moffo, if you ask me) against the Tuques back in 2008? Well, do you know who dealt the Elves their first loss ever? That’s right, the Mathematics. And what a loss it was. Math thumped the Elves by a 6-1 score, and the Elves did not win a game again until Week 4 of the 2009 season. Of course, Rich did score the Elves lone goal of that game, which should be noted in order to prevent Rich from constantly reminding us. In recent years, matchups between these teams have focused on championship belts. The Elves won the initial belt versus belt battle, but Math won back the belts in 2012, with Bradley Schmidt scoring the shootout winner, which he is always quick to point out.
So what is in store for this matchup? Well, expect someone on Math to hit Ben Chadwick with one of the belts when the refs aren’t looking, allowing Math to gain a personnel advantage. Expect multiple members of the Norris and Valdez families on the court at the same time. Expect a lot of goals, because both teams are very adept at putting the ball in the back of the net. And expect Math to win, 5-3, because nothing would be a better birthday gift for Math’s biggest fan, Rich Glanzer, than a solid win.
Rich’s video reply to Eli’s writeup
Editor’s Note: We don’t think any other writeups could follow this amount of self-indulgent pump-priming. So we’re giving you a break gentle readers.
Look for part 2 of our weekly previews later on this afternoon and Part 3 tomorrow morning. For now, just sit back and enjoy the craziness (assuming you’re on one of the eighteen teams that aren’t Math or Elves).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVUfBApm_EE&list=UUtb8GfD27t72raryn8qzddA&index=1
This is the video response. Elly drove me to insanity.
hey rich, are you gonna enter the turn of 2010 and post your videos over 360p?
I cant bc it doesn’t upload if I go higher quality.
Note the Elves shrine Rich has at his house, replete with Elves memorabilia and Chadwick’s exquisite Barbarian novel. Who can possibly beat the kind of dedication?