btsh.org

What’s With the Dalai Lama Picture?

 

2008 BTSH Ladies All-Star Party from Erik Price (filmed by Len Guinto) on Vimeo.
 
Three Wheels Are Better Than Two
Just prior to the start of the Women’s All-Star Game, the (potentially) First Annual BTSH Tricycle Race commenced, as all five entrants chugged a beer to determine which trike each one would ride.  Once each participant had his vehicle, the three-beer, three-lap race officially started when the five competitors, as well as self-appointed race official Bryan “Stork” Welch, drank their second beer.  Dan Owens (Filthy Gorgeous) was declared the winner in a photo finish, after he stormed past runner-up James Townsend-Butterworth (Sky Fighters), who dogged it to the finish line, believing his victory was already secure.  However, James’s efforts should still be commended as his front wheel broke off early in the race, thus requiring the assistance of teammate Chris Shumaker.  Although Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (Bad Touch) finished third, he was soundly booed for his blatant cheating.  Erik Price (Mexican Standoff) finished in fourth place, despite jumping out to an early lead.  Rob Gorden (Mighty Squirrels) struggled to down his first beer in one gulp and brought up the rear, even with Amy Kovner (Gouging Anklebiters) pushing him from behind.  There will be an awards ceremony for the race at the Johnson’s this Sunday evening.

The only item missing from the race was a bullhorn for announcing purposes.  Jefferson Hendricks had his sister bring one down from his parents’ house in Albany, but could not resist using his new toy on Saturday evening.  It was confiscated by police at 3:00 AM, and he was issued a summons for using a sound production device without a permit.

For a different, and slightly Sky Fighters biased view of the race, check out Samantha Lee’s video here.

Even NYC’s Finest Wanted to Watch
Directly following the tricycle race, it was time for the main event (must be the main event, since we’re giving it such good coverage): the Women’s All-Star Game. The lovely ladies of BTSH were divided into the TRIS and the DELTS, in accordance with the Revenge of the Nerds theme. The game commenced with fast-paced multi-ball action, but with head ref, Bryan “Stork” Welch, potentially tipsy and certainly paying attention elsewhere, none of those goals counted in the final tally.  Thus, the real game began about five minutes later.  Once the serious action began, the ladies were finally able to showcase their immense skill. In the end, the DELTS triumphed by a score of 2-1. Special congratulations to Liza Watts, who played in goal for the DELTS.

Know Your Neighbors

Name: Amy Lott
Team: Sky Fighters
Nickname: none
Suggested Nickname: The Glamazon
Rejected Nicknames: Blotter, That Girl on Martin’s Team, Parking
Origin: Cincinnati, Ohio
College: University of Cincinnati
Early Aspirations: To be a rocket scientist
Reason to Love Her: Her lighthearted, joyous demeanor and unwavering zest for life
Reason to Hate Her: She was talkin’ smack about your mom.
Fast Fact: She lived in San Francisco for four years, until they kicked her out.
Favorite Things: Beer, dirty words, Bob Huggins, and herself
Best Known For: Getting the media in trouble with her potty mouth
Pro Comparison: Brian Smolinski…another Buckeye known for his offensive prowess.
Non-Pro Comparison: Zsa Zsa Gabor.  Both are pretty much famous just for being famous.  And of course, the whole nine husbands thing.
Dirtiest Political Campaign: Her battle for ninth grade class treasurer at Jerry Springer High School…but at least, she won.
Things the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Her:  Her unending use of vulgar language.  You should have heard some of the other suggestions for the Happy Little Elves’ new team name.
Down the Road: Amy figures out a way to fill every starting spot on her team with herself.  However, the Sky Fighters still win the championship, because she leaves Martin Cejka on the bench as a backup. 

Captains’ Commendations

Bad Touch: Randy Locklair from Mexican Standoff volunteered to play in goal.
Cobra Kai: After hemming and hawing for a good minute, Peter Oblamski said, “Give it to me. It’s my birthday. Fuck it.”
Corlears Hookers: Mexican Standoff agreed to play out the remaining two minutes of regulation time, even after the mercy rule had been applied.
Dark Rainbows: Libby Hartle-Tyrrell took a stick to the chin, which left a bruise.
Denim Demons: Lena Moy-Borgen had the assist on Zack Tinkelman’s game-tying goal, with the goalie pulled and thirty seconds remaining in regulation.
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Owen “strapped on goalie gear in ninety-five degree bullshit.”
Happy Little Elves: Jason Fate kicked ass and had some really beautiful saves.
Filthy Gorgeous: Monica Russo picked herself for looking so good.
Fresh Kills: Third-string goalie Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg played well and is threatening to take over second-string duties from Shane-O DeBlasio.
LBS: Despite the fact that he’s old and overweight, is a smoker and an alchoholic, and struggles with personal hygiene, Seth Wachtell beat the heat and stayed strong.
Mathematics: “Peter ‘Ski’ Oblamski deserves mention, because it’s his birthday, and I know he’d be too modest to mention it himself.” – Derek Tagliarino
Mighty Squirrels: Rachel “A-Korn” Greene took one of Martin’s shots in the crotch, and her reaction was “Ow! That’s my s%@#&!” Craig was unvailable for comment.
Rehabs: Kami Moore showed up to support the team, despite being on crutches.
Sky Fighters: “Rob [Kucera] held the offense together, had like forty shots, and looks good because he lost the ponytail.” – A. Lott
Tuques: Ken Rosenkrantz, normally a defenseman, earned his first win in goal.
Unicorns: Craig (“Ug”) kept the score as low as it was.

Tags: 2008 season, Amy Lott, coop, news and notes, tricycles

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 at 10:03 pm and is filed under League Notes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.