{"id":10254,"date":"2015-01-19T09:06:50","date_gmt":"2015-01-19T14:06:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=10254"},"modified":"2015-01-19T09:50:53","modified_gmt":"2015-01-19T14:50:53","slug":"2015-btsh-royal-rumble-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/2015-btsh-royal-rumble-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Rumble\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Welcome to the first ever BTSH Royal Rumble!!!\u00a0 Here’s how it works…40* members of the #BTSHUniverse (two from each team) will compete in this match, in which the object is to eliminate your opponents by throwing them over the top rope.\u00a0 We will start with two randomly selected competitors, and every two minutes, another randomly selected combatant will enter the match.\u00a0 The last person standing in the ring is the winner.\u00a0 And, of course, to make sure everybody plays by the rules, and things are on the up and up, Mega Touch’s Alex Eben Meyer and the Dark Rainbows’ Aaron Friedman will officiate the match.<\/p>\n

*Due to some finagling by the Mathematics (namely that half this article is being written by one of them), Rebecca Norris has been entered as the 41st participant.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

***First Entrant: Jonathan Br\u00fcgger, Happy Little Elves***<\/strong><\/p>\n

***Second Entrant: Tim Brown, LBS, Inc.***<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"No<\/a>

There’s no way this guy is winning.<\/p><\/div>The first two competitors stare each other down from across the ring and contemplate the monumental task they each face.\u00a0 As the first entries in the 2015 BTSH Royal Rumble, they will literally have to outlast 40 other competitors if they want to win.\u00a0 With the gravity of the situation now understood, the bell finally rings, and the match is underway.\u00a0 Br\u00fcgger immediately picks up his much lighter opponent and tosses him over the top rope.<\/p>\n

***Tim Brown is eliminated***<\/strong><\/p>\n

Br\u00fcgger grabs a nearby microphone and shouts to the crowd, “I’m here for just one reason: to make sure an Elf wins this thing.\u00a0 I don’t care if it’s me or Richie, but one of us is going all the way.\u00a0 That’s a promise.”<\/p>\n

***Third Entrant: Alok, Mega Touch***<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alok saunters down to the ring with a lot of bravado, but Br\u00fcgger seems unfazed. He drops the microphone and starts to pound on Alok as soon as he steps between the ropes.\u00a0 Alok finally blocks one of Br\u00fcgger’s roundhouse punches and fires back with a flurry of his own.\u00a0 He sets Br\u00fcgger up in the corner and comes charging at him full steam.\u00a0 However, at the last moment, Br\u00fcgger ducks down and hip checks Alok over the top rope.<\/p>\n

***Alok is eliminated***<\/strong><\/p>\n

Br\u00fcgger again grabs the microphone and speaks, “What did I just say?\u00a0 No one is taking down the Elves!\u00a0 No one!\u00a0 Send out whoever you want.\u00a0 It doesn’t matter.”<\/p>\n

***Fourth Entrant: Bryan Welch, Rehabs***<\/strong><\/p>\n

Welch approaches the ring to a loud chorus of boos from the majority of the crowd (although a few “Reeeeeehaaaaabs” chants can also be heard…possibly from Stacy Kehoe).\u00a0 Bryan steps over the top rope and immediately gets the upper hand.\u00a0 It seems like he will outlast Tim and Alok, as he is very adept at using his long reach to his advantage.\u00a0 However, Bryan gets a little cocky, and Br\u00fcgger seizes his opening.\u00a0 He lands a perfect drop kick on his taller opponent, causing Welch to stumble backwards and out of the ring.<\/p>\n

***Bryan Welch is eliminated***<\/p>\n

<\/strong>One more time, Br\u00fcgger grabs the microphone and shouts, “Get it through your heads, people.\u00a0 No one is stopping the Elves!\u00a0 Don’t even bother!”<\/p>\n

<\/strong>