{"id":10311,"date":"2015-01-23T10:38:02","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T15:38:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=10311"},"modified":"2015-01-23T11:37:14","modified_gmt":"2015-01-23T16:37:14","slug":"2015-btsh-royal-rumble-part-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/2015-btsh-royal-rumble-part-5\/","title":{"rendered":"2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 5)"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a recap, the following competitors are still in the ring*: Jonathan Br\u00fcgger, Marisa Cohen, Jennifer Popack, Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, Julie Katz, Craig LaCombe, Jenna Cruff, Sascha Puritz, Hector Melendez, Adam Rubens, and “John” Sena.<\/em><\/p>\n

*Stephanie Cooper was last mentioned as supporting the Canadians from ringside. We’re assuming she left some time after they were all eliminated. If anyone sees her please let us know.<\/em><\/p>\n

***30th Entrant: Jamie Abcdefghijklmnopqursuvwxyz (Gremlins)<\/strong>***<\/p>\n

Jamie walks into the ring as the entrants now realize they are all in this alone. Suddenly, $h0wT!m3 looks at Craig, they both look at Jamie, and the three politely ask Jerome and his mini Philippine flag to move from the middle of the ring so they can speak to the crowd. $h0wT!m3 says, “The Canadians have been destroyed, the GPGs are decimated, and now the most dominant faction in the history of BTSH is back: The Goalie Union!” <\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

Can The Goalie Union be\u00a0as successful as the 2013 All-Star Game?<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

***31st Entrant: Sam\u00a0Norris (Math)***<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Sam\u00a0Norris comes and sees the goalies conspiring. He avoids them, runs to the concession stand and has a picnic in one of the corners with Marisa. Marisa tells him he’s nice, but not her type.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Craig takes the mic from $h0wT!m3 and says, “We do this for all the goalies who didn’t get picked to be in the Rumble. We do this for Dustin, for Barch, for deLa…”\u00a0<\/p>\n

Before he can finish, Jenna throws Craig out of the ring. Craig angrily throws his stick.

***Craig has been eliminated***<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sena says to Jamie, “Knock knock.” Jamie laughs hysterically. Sena\u00a0throws Jamie out of the ring.

***Jamie has been eliminated***<\/p>\n

<\/strong>$h0wT!m3 writes a long post on the BTSH website, announcing his retirement and hops over the top rope.<\/p>\n

***$h0wT!m3 has been eliminated***\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

A loud “Thank you, $h0wT!m3” chant emerges from the Glanzer Dome. \u00a0$h0wT!m3 walks over Dead Peter Lang one last time as he tips his cap to the crowd. $h0wT!m3 says thank you<\/a>. No $h0wT!m3, thank you.<\/p>\n

\"$h0wT!m3<\/a>

$h0wT!m3 is gone for good at BTSH, and Peter Lang is still dead.<\/p><\/div>***32nd Entrant: David (Birthday Boy) Bernstein, Dark Rainbows***<\/p>\n

<\/strong>

\"Jerome<\/a>

Jerome says, “Happy Birthday, Bernstein!” (and so does Elly)<\/p><\/div>Balloons and streamers rain down in celebration of Bernstein’s celebrates, as he walks down to the ring.\u00a0 It’s a joyous occasion, and the fans are pumped to see one of their favorites in the Rumble. \u00a0 When Bernstein finally steps between the ropes, Jerome immediately wishes him a happy birthday. Bernstein does not respond. Jerome reminds Bernstein it’s polite to say thank you when someone wishes you a happy birthday.\u00a0 Bernstein still doesn’t say anything, but gives Jerome a thumbs up.\u00a0 Infuriated, Jerome lightly pushes Bernstein, but Bernstein doesn’t move.\u00a0 At this point, Julie takes matters into her own hands and superkicks Bernstein over the top rope.<\/p>\n

\"Ingrate<\/a>

Ingrate<\/p><\/div>***David (Birthday Boy) Bernstein has been eliminated. (He should have said thank you)<\/strong>***<\/p>\n

Jerome jumps around because he got the “assist” on Julie’s knockout. He climbs up all four ropes. He is going nuts.<\/p>\n