{"id":10762,"date":"2015-06-02T16:37:50","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T20:37:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=10762"},"modified":"2015-06-02T16:37:50","modified_gmt":"2015-06-02T20:37:50","slug":"week-7-previews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-7-previews\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 7 Previews"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A word:\u00a0It turns out that the previews I purposely chose not to write were 100% accurate.\u00a0 None of Rich\u2019s previews actually happened to come true, which is nothing new, and should be noted.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gouging Anklebiters at Filthier<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The BTSH Universe is imploding this week, as the battle of the Williamsburg Jets will open up the courts, if Timmy doesn\u2019t cancel a beautiful sunny day, again.<\/p>\n<p>Will Craig thrown down another \u201csuck it\u201d after a few amazing, consecutive saves?!\u00a0 Probably, if the ball was shot from Shafiq and Denis.\u00a0 Will Shafiq and Denis score this week?!\u00a0 Probably, if they\u2019re shooting on Craig\u2026\u00a0 Only this logic can happen when the BTSH Universe implodes, but, I still think Filthier will take it in OT 3-2<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Jets-Pic.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Jets-Pic.jpg\" alt=\"Jets Pic\" width=\"960\" height=\"717\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10763\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Jets-Pic.jpg 960w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Jets-Pic-300x224.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is the most even matched game of the week\u2014two teams who have a lot of talent\u2014that most the time bring their A-game.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be a good one, but I don\u2019t know anybody on the LBS except Timmy and Tommy, which now makes me think I\u2019m writing a Rugrats review with all these diminutive name endings.<div id=\"attachment_10764\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/LBS-Rugrats.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10764\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/LBS-Rugrats.png\" alt=\"Depending on who shows up for the Pounds will decide the game\" width=\"600\" height=\"319\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10764\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/LBS-Rugrats.png 600w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/LBS-Rugrats-300x160.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-10764\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Depending on who shows up for the Pounds will decide the game<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>More importantly, the remake of Poltergeist just came out.\u00a0 Has anybody seen it, is it worth it, how does it compare to the original, is that human-eating tree remade in it too, does is have a cheesier line than the headstone part?!<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Poltergeist &quot;You only moved the headstones!!!&quot;\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/41tO0xwSsco?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Anyways, the point I\u2019m getting at is that judging by Poltergeist, Demons hate children.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Demons 4 \u2013 Rugrats 2<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rehabs at Fresh Kills<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The Rehabs are the only undefeated team this year, the Gremlins a close second.\u00a0 I am not sure how they are pulling it off\u2014a few clutch goals, nonstop hustle, who the hell knows!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Fresh Kills on the other hand got really lucky it rained last week, and is now well regarded by most the league as the team that bribed Tim to call all games off for fear of playing Math.<\/p>\n<p>Rehabs will be up in the game at some point, maybe 1-0 or 2-0, but will lose their undefeated streak with under 5 minutes to go in the second half.<\/p>\n<p>FK 4-2 (empty net goal), sorry Hector!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mathematics at Sky Fighters<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s the deal with the Sky Fighters?!\u00a0 They\u2019ve got some of the best raw talent in the league and a shifty French Canadian who dishes out beauty passes left and right\u2014but they continue to lose week after week.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Math, on the other hand, is playing average.\u00a0 Math almost lost to Richie\u2019s Poopy Little Elves, which no team has done this year.\u00a0 It reminded me of the best hockey game recently watched on TV:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=bV1luH4Ce9E\"><\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"South Park Little Hockey League\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/bV1luH4Ce9E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><\/a><br \/>It\u2019ll be too close to call\u2014this one\u2019s going into OT<\/p>\n<p><strong>Gremlins at Poutine Machine<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Grems are on a tear and Poutine has really struggled this year, despite a having a decent team.\u00a0 Depends what Poutine shows up.\u00a0 There will be a lot of fast breaks by the boys and girls in yellow, which will put their team up at the end of the second half 3-1, unless this Poutine shows up, which will lead them to a 4-2 much needed win.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Poutine.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Poutine.jpg\" alt=\"Poutine\" width=\"700\" height=\"466\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10767\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Poutine.jpg 700w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Poutine-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Mega Touch at Corlears Hookers<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I am legally restricted to comment on this game, but Mega wins 5-3 in a Multiball OT<\/p>\n<p>But, you should check out Alex Vegan Socks\u2019 website and work\u2014it\u2019s really awesome: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.eben.com\/\">http:\/\/www.eben.com\/<br \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Cobra Kai at Gut Rot<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If Gut Rot brings their A-game, this thing will be a close one.\u00a0 If Cobra Kai also brings their A-game\u2014well, Cobra Kai\u2019s A-game can beat any team in this league.<\/p>\n<p>Also, I saw Sebastian at ACE last week while watching the Rangers lose game 7.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s a good kid\u2014and a good omen for all things hockey.\u00a0 If Sebastian shows\u2014Cobra Kai 6 \u2013 The Rot 2; If Sebastian doesn\u2019t show\u2014Cobra Kai 3 \u2013 The Rot 1<\/p>\n<p><strong>Butchers at What The Puck<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Rachel Greene will likely be gone; who will step up to lead this team?!\u00a0 Is it really that much of a big?!\u00a0 No, it actually isn\u2019t. Damn, I thought I was going somewhere with this\u2026<\/p>\n<p>WTP has been pretty hot this year\u2014and I had to cancel a tentative plan to hire Mike Dudolevitch for moving this past weekend.<\/p>\n<p>Sorry for canceling, Butchers, but I feel bad, so WTP wins 3-2<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tompkins Square Riots at Dark Rainbows<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Riots beat the Elves the other week?!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if Gil\u2019s son\u2019s Dad was there, but the Rainbows don\u2019t have anybody like Gil\u2019s son\u2019s Dad\u2019s Child\u2019s Father.\u00a0 Plus, he just got a new pair of glasses\u2014they look pretty nice, Gil!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Now, now, Riots and Rainbows\u2014you may be asking yourself\u2014why is this column about Gil and the Elves, especially when Rich, Derek, or Eli didn\u2019t even write these?!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I will tell you, this is just a test to see who actually reads other teams\u2019 previews.\u00a0 Did you guys find your reference yet in another teams\u2019 previews?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Spoiler: look at previous years\u2019 previews and I\u2019m sure there is at least one incidental one.<\/p>\n<p>The Riots keep the ball out of the slot and Dave has a strong game in net: Riots 3 Rainbows 1<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><strong>Instant Karma at Happy Little Elves<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This may be the game of the week, but it\u2019s not because they\u2019ve already played each other with Karma taking the W.<\/p>\n<p>But, it depends who shows up\u2014where has Ryann G been all year?!\u00a0 She would have more goals than Cherie if she just showed up to any game after the season opener where she scored a hattie!<\/p>\n<p>Let me break this game down: this entire preview article has poked at the Elves 3 times; I still owe Chadwick $30 for the Instant Karma jersey I bought. So far, that\u2019s $10 a poke at the Elves if we assume all karma-related, game-scoring measurements are equal (i.e. $30 owed over 3 pokes given).\u00a0 But, all men are not created equal\u2014Elf and Rich jokes are a saturated market and worth, at most, 1 dollar.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Mathematically speaking: Karma 10 \u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ\">Elves 1<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A word:\u00a0It turns out that the previews I purposely chose not to write were 100% accurate.\u00a0 None of Rich\u2019s previews actually happened to come true, which is nothing new, and should be noted.\u00a0\u00a0 Gouging Anklebiters at Filthier The BTSH Universe is imploding this week, as the battle of the Williamsburg Jets will open up the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1636,"featured_media":10767,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10762"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1636"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10762"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10770,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10762\/revisions\/10770"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}