{"id":12040,"date":"2016-03-27T23:19:19","date_gmt":"2016-03-28T03:19:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=12040"},"modified":"2016-03-28T12:04:40","modified_gmt":"2016-03-28T16:04:40","slug":"season-preview-h0wtm3-division","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/season-preview-h0wtm3-division\/","title":{"rendered":"Season Preview: $h0wT!m3 Division"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our division preview series continues as we tell you everything you need to know about the $h0wT!m3 Division.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What&#8217;s New<br \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Quite possibly, the division name.\u00a0 Rich already jettisoned Tim Brown&#8217;s honorific and replaced it with one for Julie Katz.\u00a0 As of press time, the division still bears the $h0wT!m3 name, but it could soon be retired, much like its namesake has done multiple times already.\u00a0 Rich could even bring back the Rubens Division.\u00a0 Stay tuned for all of the drama!<\/li>\n<li>Instant Karma.\u00a0 After suffering through a difficult inaugural season in the Glanzer Division, Karma should welcome a schedule that is a lot more forgiving.\u00a0 Of course, three of their seven wins last season came against the Elves, so they&#8217;ll have to find other teams to beat up on this year.<\/li>\n<li>The Gremlins.\u00a0 Oh hey guys, good to have you back!\u00a0 After a one year sabbatical to the Greene Division, the Gremlins return to the division they called home from 2011-2014.\u00a0 However, they were never able to win it during those four seasons, so maybe coming back isn&#8217;t all its cracked up to be.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_12045\" style=\"width: 282px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/welcome-home.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12045\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/welcome-home.gif\" alt=\"&quot;You're killing me, Gremlins.&quot;\" class=\"size-full wp-image-12045\" height=\"200\" width=\"272\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12045\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;You&#8217;re killing me, Gremlins.&#8221;<\/p><\/div><strong><br \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Who&#8217;s Gone<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The Rehabs.\u00a0 They won the division comfortably and then went on a nice run in the playoffs, advancing all the way to the championship game.\u00a0 So all of the other teams in the division banded together and decided to not let them return.<\/li>\n<li>Poutine Machine.\u00a0 They avoided relegation in 2014 by taking more points in a two-game series with the Gremlins in the season&#8217;s final two weeks (Walker remembers, and laments, this well).\u00a0 They couldn&#8217;t avoid last place in the division in 2015, but they&#8217;ll get an early chance at redemption with an Opening Day game again the team that replaced them, the Gremlins.<\/li>\n<li>Jeff Laniado.\u00a0 He finished fourth in the league with 18 goals last year, accounting for more than one-third of the Butchers scoring.\u00a0 Alas, his contract was up, and the budget-conscious Butchers could not match Fuzz&#8217;s front-loaded offer sheet.<\/li>\n<li>Brian Hicks.\u00a0 We&#8217;re stretching this one a little, since Hicks never actually played for the Gremlins in this division.\u00a0 But he also signed an offer sheet from Fuzz that wasn&#8217;t matched, and with it go his 20 goals from last season, one-third of the team&#8217;s total.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Key Players<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Arnold Sanchez, Butchers.\u00a0 Losing Jeff is a tough blow, but the Butchers always seem to land on their feet after personnel changes.\u00a0 What they can&#8217;t lose is the grinding, gritty presence of players like Arnold that give them a chance to win no matter whom they are playing.<\/li>\n<li>Liam Martens, Cobra Kai.\u00a0 He&#8217;s arguably the best pure scorer on Cobra Kai, a team that looks unbeatable on some Sundays, and totally lost on others.\u00a0 The division is there for the taking this season, and a few extra goals from Liam could go a long way to securing it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_12043\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/cobra-kai.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12043\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/cobra-kai-300x125.jpg\" alt=\"Quit being so nice, Liam! Be more like these guys.\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12043\" height=\"125\" width=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/cobra-kai-300x125.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/cobra-kai-1024x428.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/cobra-kai.jpg 1600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12043\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Quit being so nice, Liam! Be more like these guys.<\/p><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Jamie Baduwantudawe, Gremlins.\u00a0 Forty of the Gremlins sixty goals last year came from players other than Hicks, which softens the blow of his departure.\u00a0 But the team&#8217;s success will likely still come down to Jamie, who has been known to steal games for them in the past.\u00a0 Of course, other teams are fully aware of this and tend to borrow Jamie for their own exploits, so keeping him fresh and not over-exerting him will be critical.\u00a0 Or he could just find other co-workers who are really good at hockey.<\/li>\n<li>Danielle Haselton, Instant Karma.\u00a0 Being commissioner isn&#8217;t easy.\u00a0 Did you see how much that job aged Adriano and jaded Timmy?\u00a0 Now throw co-captaining duties with Chadwick into the mix.\u00a0 When not dealing with angry captains, or game-day crises, or league administrative matters, she&#8217;ll have to reel in existential tangents and games of lime toss. That&#8217;s a pretty daunting task.<\/li>\n<li>Corey Winters, What The Puck.\u00a0 The sage veteran of the squad, he&#8217;s probably the league&#8217;s closest equivalent to a player-coach.\u00a0 His presence is not as consistent as it used to be, but when he&#8217;s around, his influence on What The Puck&#8217;s rather large roster is clearly noticeable.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_12041\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Slapshot.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12041\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Slapshot-300x187.jpg\" alt=\"Corey, circa 2020.\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12041\" height=\"187\" width=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Slapshot-300x187.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Slapshot.jpg 858w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12041\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Corey, circa 2020.<\/p><\/div><strong>Key Games<br \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Butchers at Fuzz (June 12): Can Rachel and company get revenge for losing their top scorer?\u00a0 It&#8217;s fitting that this game was scheduled for Rivalry Week.\u00a0 Perhaps she can <del>borrow Joe P. from the Biters<\/del> use the services of Tom from Gut Rot, like <del>she<\/del> her team did a few years ago to beat Rich&#8217;s Elves (We knew Rich allowed a really good player to play for the Butchers, we just forgot which one. &#8211;Emeritus).<\/li>\n<li>Gremlins at Instant Karma (June 12 &#8211; and also May 15): Walker was really excited about getting to play Karma twice this season.\u00a0 One of these is on Rivalry Week, so hopefully these two teams can get a solid, spirited rivalry going.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div id=\"attachment_12042\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Limes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12042\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Limes-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Does this go to the winner of the Gremlins-Karma series?\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12042\" height=\"169\" width=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Limes-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Limes.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12042\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Does this go to the winner of the Gremlins-Karma series?<\/p><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Instant Karma at Rehabs (April 24): One of the new teams in the division faces off against the team they replaced, the 2015 division champs.\u00a0 It is also a rematch of a round of 16 playoff game from last year.<\/li>\n<li>Gremlins at Cobra Kai, Instant Karma at What The Puck (September 11): If the division has not been decided yet, these two games will have a lot riding on them.\u00a0 And even if they have, playoff seeding will still likely be in play.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Predicted Finish<br \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Cobra Kai (11-5-2): We think Cobra Kai has the most raw talent in the division, and this the year that they finally maximize it.<\/li>\n<li>Instant Karma (9-8-1): This team is better than you think.\u00a0 They got off to a solid start last season, including an upset of the Hookers, before hitting the wall.\u00a0 Plus, they delivered the final blow to the Elves franchise.\u00a0 The less rigorous schedule should be beneficial.<\/li>\n<li>Gremlins (8-8-2): They missed the division so much that they just had to get back here as quickly as they could. Even without Hicks, we don&#8217;t see them leaving it after just one season.<\/li>\n<li>Butchers (8-9-1): Rachel always finds ways to keep the Butchers competitive.\u00a0 When Eric Ramirez went to Gut Rot, she replaced him with Tim Burke.\u00a0 When Joey went to Math, she replaced him with Jeff.\u00a0 So we&#8217;re sure Rachel has some new blood in place to take Jeff&#8217;s place.\u00a0 They&#8217;ll be fine.<\/li>\n<li>What The Puck (7-10-1): Having a large roster is nice during the summer, when attendance lags in general.\u00a0 But their divisional games are generally towards the beginning and end of the season, when a large roster might prevent players from getting into much of a rhythm.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our division preview series continues as we tell you everything you need to know about the $h0wT!m3 Division. What&#8217;s New Quite possibly, the division name.\u00a0 Rich already jettisoned Tim Brown&#8217;s honorific and replaced it with one for Julie Katz.\u00a0 As of press time, the division still bears the $h0wT!m3 name, but it could soon be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[47,256,166],"class_list":["post-12040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-interest","tag-howtm3","tag-2016-season","tag-season-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12040"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12040"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12051,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12040\/revisions\/12051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}