{"id":12964,"date":"2016-06-17T12:40:52","date_gmt":"2016-06-17T16:40:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=12964"},"modified":"2016-06-17T12:43:55","modified_gmt":"2016-06-17T16:43:55","slug":"week-10-previews-fathers-day-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-10-previews-fathers-day-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 10 Previews: Father’s Day Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Rachel G. and Sam N.<\/p>\n

Note to the reader: Isaac passed down the order that this week’s previews should be Father’s Day themed. What Isaac says, Isaac gets. You know, that’s a lot harder than you’d think. Sam and I spent many hours toiling away on my patio (and in Zach and Diane’s backyard) trying to meet the editor’s challenge. By many hours, I mean maybe two hours, but many beers. So…sorry in advance. Also, Happy Father’s Day. You all should thank your Dad for making you the incredible hockey talents that you are. The NHL is jealous.<\/em><\/p>\n

(ed note: I probably forgot to call out a lot of fathers. Sorry.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Gut Rot at Tompkins Square Riots<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh Daddy, this is a good one. Gilligan, you already have the Dad bod, the Dad jokes, and soon enough you\u2019ll be an actual Dad. Now go score for your team. Tommy has been team Dad long enough. Guys, Ellery is actually a father. REPEAT, Ellery is actually a father. Happy Father\u2019s Day. Dave Gil de Rubio, I hope you stop more goals than you have children. Although everyone wants to see a Gut Rot win, as designated Dad on your team, I don\u2019t think this will be the week.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: TSR by 2, Dave stands tall in net.<\/p>\n

Instant Karma at Dark Rainbows
<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Father<\/a>

Father and daughter.<\/p><\/div>\n

Does Kali allow Father\u2019s Day to be celebrated on her team? Sam thinks she prefers to celebrate her own golden stick #donttouchthestick. Rainbows were the first fathers of BTSH, the original baby-makers. We all miss that tent and dem little blond kids. Sam says he can pitch a tent, LADIES!?!?! Suuuuriously though, here\u2019s to the Dads on Karma. At the very least, Bill comes in from Long Island and leaves his kid by the wayside. Alf will be drinking his Maker\u2019s to celebrate his own fertility.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Karma by 2, twooooo many kids.<\/p>\n

What The Puck at LBS, Inc.<\/p>\n

<\/strong>WTP used to be a team with a lot of babies, now it\u2019s a team full of babies. I mean young. Like young and happy.\u00a0 Not like whiny babies. Um…Happy Father\u2019s Day? Lotsa baby daddies on the LBS.\u00a0 Seth, Karsten and Sam. The difference in this game, all dem babies on WTP are going to go see their Dad\u2019s on Father\u2019s Day. Meanwhile, the Dads on LBS get their wish…to play hockey all day. LBS\u2019 line up is stacked; they\u2019ll get back in the W column this week.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>LBS by 3, Daddy\u2019s getting his groove on.<\/p>\n

Rehabs at Sky Fighters
<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Father.\"<\/a>

Father.<\/p><\/div>\n

Which Daddy\u2019s got more kids in this game? Stein or Showtime? Ladies on the court, watch out…these guys might get you pregnant if you get too close to the crease. Welsh has a kid now too, seems like his kid has taught him a thing or two\u2026.about whining.\u00a0 On the Fighters bench, this must be a tough day for Roman. Sam says he\u2019s been begging for anyone to call him Daddy for years. #daddyissues.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Rehabs by 2, Showtime sure knows where the five hole is.<\/p>\n

Cobra Kai at Poutine Machine<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Sebby just got engaged\u2026.Happy Father\u2019s Day? A year ago, there\u2019d be a joke in here about Poutine\u2019s Daddy needing to teach \u2018em a lesson to sportsmanship, but alas they got their shit together and Sam and I can\u2019t make fun of them. They are now setting the proper father figure tone for the league. Kudos to you guys for having a great season so far. That being said Cobra Kai knows how to one past the goalie.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>CK by 2, childless…but not scoreless.<\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters at Mega Touch
<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Father.\"<\/a>

Proud new papa.<\/p><\/div>\n

Sam is really impressed that Craig finally learned how to wipe his ass after Fumi demonstrated on Jojo, a couple hundred times. Konichiwa. Happy Father\u2019s Day! Alex Eben Meyer, proud new papa. Congrats. Maybe Jojo can teach you too? Jojo\u2019s got his shit together. We all know Tuckman\u2019s a Dad (and damn that kid is cute), but who is going to watch Tito this week? Also shout out to Larry, Phil, Zach and anyone else I might have missed. Maybe Probie too? Who knows.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Biters by 3, too bad Amy\u2019s babysitting for this one.<\/p>\n

Filthier at Denim Demons
<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Demons.\"<\/a>

Demons.<\/p><\/div>\n

Filthier, Demons\u2026.do you guys procreate? \u00a0What will happen to BTSH if you guys don\u2019t contribute? Also, Sam wants to know what method of birth control you use, otherwise we\u2019ll have mini-math in a couple years, LADIES?!?!?! (ed note: um if you guys have kids…sorry about that)\u00a0But let\u2019s get real for a minute, is Jeff playing this week? Because then this is a game to watch.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Filthy by 2, they\u2019ve gotta stop the slide.<\/p>\n

Corlears Hookers at Gremlins<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Will this be the day that all of the old proud papa\u2019s come back and play for the Hookers? Eitel? Putka? Remember when Putka had kids to soften his image? That worked for a few months. Maybe Jamie can bring his adorable nephew\/ball boy and we can call him Daddy? Gremlins need to work on putting one past the goalie, literally…not in the baby makin\u2019 way. I know it\u2019s not Thursday anymore, but how about a TBT for Chris Eng, old school Gremlin\/Unicorn great that taught us all a thing or two about sportsmanship and fatherhood alike, while still schooling us all on the court.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Hookers by 1, they can\u2019t disappoint the kids.<\/p>\n

Fuzz at Fresh Kills
<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Father.\"<\/a>

Father.<\/p><\/div>\n

Gil and Gil\u2019s son would be the perfect father\u2019s day duo. Still, Ariel manages to sneak out some to play hockey with two kids. Maybe this week Gabe will allow him to score two goals for his two kids? Screw it, calling a hatty. Soko\u2019s been working so hard architecting this mega-team, no time for kids? Glanzer is this your plan? Sam says: Everytime Glanzer gets his balls near the net while trying to score everyone says \u201cNO! Not the high stick, Glanzer! Not the high stick!\u201d
(ed note: this makes way more sense if you say this in Sam\u2019s voice)<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>FK by 1, Gil\u2019s celebrating father\u2019s day?<\/p>\n

Mathematics at Butchers<\/p>\n

<\/strong>Who cares about the Dads on this team? Justin Perras, you won\u2019t even be there anyway. Sam says: Derek \u201cI can\u2019t be captain this year because I\u2019m focusing on having a family\u201d Tagliarino\u2026.took one week off\u2026..geez that was fast. Happy Father\u2019s Day. Sam and I are going to settle this game over a match of quarters on my patio. Guys, you don\u2019t need to show up. But Butchers…um, please show up? JSB, I\u2019m talking to you.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>:\u00a0<\/span>Butchers by 1, house rules.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Rachel G. and Sam N. Note to the reader: Isaac passed down the order that this week’s previews should be Father’s Day themed. What Isaac says, Isaac gets. You know, that’s a lot harder than you’d think. Sam and I spent many hours toiling away on my patio (and in Zach and Diane’s backyard) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12964"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12964"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12976,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12964\/revisions\/12976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}