{"id":13714,"date":"2016-09-16T09:17:53","date_gmt":"2016-09-16T13:17:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=13714"},"modified":"2016-09-16T09:28:22","modified_gmt":"2016-09-16T13:28:22","slug":"he-views-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/he-views-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"He-Views: Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Inspired by the works of the lovely Anonymous Lady, the Finest Mens in all of BTSH have come together to author this week’s previews of the games that were rained out on May 1st. \u00a0So, without further ado, here is Part 2 of the He-Views. (Part 1 can be found here<\/a>.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Sky Fighters at Gut Rot<\/strong>
\nby Richiehero<\/em><\/p>\n

\"gut-rot-brian-sullivan\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Mega Touch at Instant Karma<\/strong>
\nby<\/em> BTSHLogonShaun<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Isaac<\/a>

Isaac in his business casual wear.<\/p><\/div>\n

League darling<\/span>\u00a0Honorary Man Julie Katz leads\u00a0her<\/span>\u00a0his squad in this Corlears Hook Park Conference regular season finale against Instant Karma.\u00a0 At stake?\u00a0 Nothing less than a opening round bye.\u00a0 Although these teams enter the contest in a dead heat for 8th\/9th place, only one will retain the position and with many teams nipping at their heels, only one will be casually sipping\u00a0beers<\/span>\u00a0non-alcoholic beverages in paper bags at Tompkins come Play-in Week.\u00a0 Personally, I’m expecting a little magic from Adriano as Mega Touch touches Karma mega and pulls off a decisive victory on the courts.\u00a0 Not even the considerable boyish good looks of Isaac or the considerable height of Captain Ben will rescue Karma from a date with one of the teams ranked 17-20 in the final standings.\u00a0 And this despite having the measured leadership of both the Commissioner and the Chairman.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Mega introduces Instant to the wheel of Karma: 5-2.<\/p>\n

BSA Fun Fact: \u00a0The first Brian Sullivan Alert rung out in Concord, MA in 1775 when a man on horseback feverishly raced through the streets warning that beautifully-coiffed men in mostly-unbuttoned red jackets were coming.<\/p>\n

Butchers at Cobra Kai<\/strong>
\nby Richiehero<\/em><\/p>\n

When the two schedule makers (who both can bench more than 275 pounds which is really impressive) put the Butchims vs. Cobra Kai at the end of the season, they knew it could be for the $h0wT!m3 Division Championship. They even predicted that their initial game would be rained out so this would be the last game.<\/p>\n

What they didn’t predict was the ridiculous name changes besmirching BTSH’s storied history, and that the Butchims would be so great with the addition of JSB and other players that are really good that we don’t really know. They also didn’t predict the so-so year Cobra Kai is having. Speaking of so-so, do you know that (Brian Sullivan Alert) Brian Sullivan once was offered $432 by Elton John to cut off his Irish clover tattoo by his chest so Elton could use it as a pillow? True story.<\/p>\n

Predict-him:\u00a0Hero JewHeromanwrestling hasn’t been wrong all season, and won’t be wrong today. The Buthhims will win this game 5-2 with Liam and Pete scoring for Cobra. And 5 Eric, Arnold, Arthur and two other dudes I never heard of scoring for the winners.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Poutine Machine at Gouging Anklebiters<\/strong>
\nby\u00a0Mr. Pec-tacular<\/em><\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The Biters should focus more on Poutine Machine and less on crabs and gang signs.<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

By the time the Fighting Poos take the court this Sunday, they’ll know exactly what they’re playing for. A Mega Touch loss (even in OT) earlier in the day means they’re competing for first place in the HIFI Division and a promotion in 2017.\u00a0 Of course, they may just be fighting to stay out of the dreaded playoff opening round next weekend.\u00a0 Either way, Poutine enters hotter than your mom, having won six of their last eight games. They now boast the third lowest GAA in the league thanks to their stellar goalie platoon of Scott H. and A.J., while Sully (11 goals), Mike M. (8), and Hornswoggle (6) have led the team in scoring.\u00a0 Also, be on the lookout for Kevin M. who has returned from Parts Unknown to bolster Poo’s blue\u00a0line.<\/p>\n

\n
But let’s be honest, caring about the greater good of the “team” is for stupid idiots, and the Gouging Anklebiters’ Ben “Cro”bert has a legitimate chance for personal glory in the league scoring race.\u00a0 Although it seems unlikely that anyone will catch Mike T. of the Sky Fighters, Ben–who currently has 15 goals–will look to pass even less than usual this game in order to fulfill his destiny as one of the top five scoring leaders.\u00a0 As for the rest of the team…well, they’ll likely come out a little sawft with their collective mind focused on Joe P.’s personal Christmas: BTSH Crab Fest.<\/div>\n

Brian Sullivan Fact: Ever the consummate gentleman, Sully sends all of his one night stands home in a prepaid Uber.\u00a0 And awaiting these lucky ladies in the backseat is a gift basket containing the following items: a Mylec ball signed by Brian Sullivan himself, two sample packets of Sully’s favorite pre-workout powder, a temporary shamrock tattoo, two courtside tickets to a future Poutine Machine game, one fun size Milky Way, one 8.4 ounce can of Red Bull, a coupon for body razors, three tampons, and a paperback copy of Rebecca Solnit’s Men Explain Things To Me<\/i>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"Wait<\/a>

Wait until she sees how smooth his chest is!<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Prediction<\/em>: The Biters are too distracted, allowing Poutine to record a solid 4-2 victory.\u00a0 Believe that.<\/div>\n

Rehabs at Tompkins Square Riots<\/strong>
\nby Triple RacH<\/em><\/p>\n

Previewing the Rehabs\/Riots game\u2026Ohh, What a Rush! The Riots want redemption from their 5-1 loss to the Rainbows last week, but In Order To Be The Man, You\u2019ve Got to Beat the Man. Fresh off their 5-4 OT win over Math, Rehabs are all like..Who\u2019s Next?! Can you Smell What the Rock<\/span> Rehabs are Cooking? Whatcha gonna do, when AlexMay-nia runs wild on you?! Expect (JOHN) SENA to score a sneaky back-door goal because YOU CAN\u2019T SEE HER. Joe F. is rumored to be teed up for a great game and at least one goal. To a Nicer Guy, it Couldn\u2019t Have Happened! Despite Fiore\u2019s contribution and Limousine Ridin’, Jet Flying, Kiss Stealin’, Wheelin’ Dealin’, Son of a Gun Dave GDR standing on his head for the Riots, they won\u2019t be able to hold off the likes of Welch, Ramy, and Starr. And that’s the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so.<\/p>\n

\"lemonlime\"<\/a><\/p>\n

BSA Fun Fact: On April 19, 2014, Brian Sullivan released his own line of highly anticipated Nike Air Foamposite Pro \u201cSullys\u201d. Despite going on sale on a Saturday, fans began lining up as early as Wednesday in anticipation of the 8AM drop. Anticipation was so high for these kicks that at one Brooklyn Foot Locker, a young man was shot in the foot for cutting the line. This delayed the release of the Sully Foams by 3 hours, enraging BK sneakerheads. Despite the strong showing on release date, the Sully Foams never surpassed the dopeness of the Air Sully 2s (especially the coveted Green March colorway, paying homage to his Irish roots).<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Rehabs 5 \u2013 Riots 0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Inspired by the works of the lovely Anonymous Lady, the Finest Mens in all of BTSH have come together to author this week’s previews of the games that were rained out on May 1st. \u00a0So, without further ado, here is Part 2 of the He-Views. (Part 1 can be found here.) Sky Fighters at Gut […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[328,264],"class_list":["post-13714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info","tag-he-views","tag-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13714"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13714"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13730,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13714\/revisions\/13730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}