{"id":13813,"date":"2016-09-27T09:22:48","date_gmt":"2016-09-27T13:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=13813"},"modified":"2016-09-27T09:22:48","modified_gmt":"2016-09-27T13:22:48","slug":"three-stars-of-the-playoff-debut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/three-stars-of-the-playoff-debut\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Stars of the Playoff Debut"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Ophelia Baulls<\/em><\/p>\n

\"gremmie-stars\"<\/a>

There’s three of them. They’re wearing yellow. So sure, they count as Stars.<\/p><\/div>\n

THIRD STAR<\/b>
\nGut Rot “We come last, or not at all”<\/p>\n

Trying to describe Gut Rot is sometimes like trying to describe that guy you want to set your friend up with, who maybe isn’t a\u00a0total\u00a0<\/i>smokeshow but is SO awesome it’s tough to describe exactly WHY. Here’s why this week:<\/p>\n

1. They lost their goalie in the last month of the season and kept those cute smiles on their faces and welcomed Worky into the net<\/p>\n

\"worky-goal\"<\/a>

Hero.<\/p><\/div>\n

2. Perko dropped his stick onto the subway tracks and\u00a0this is what happened<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Liza Watts because of this real-life chat over our company IM<\/p>\n

darko: what was the score?
\nldubs: uh…we lost?
\nldubs: pretty sure we scored one goal
\nldubs: and they scored more than one goal
\ndarko: that sounds right<\/p>\n

SECOND STAR<\/strong>
\nErich from Gremlins “When I move, you move. Just like that.”<\/p>\n

\"erich-gremmie\"<\/a>

Arrogant chump.<\/p><\/div>\n

The word on the street is that Erich was like the vinegar in your 6th grade volcano-science-project, making shit ERUPT (but less foamy?) every time he stepped onto the court. The Gremlins and Riots battled hard but Erich was leading a Macy’s day parade into the Riots defensive zone whenever he tapped in. Homeboy sunk two in the net, for a 4-1 victory over the Riots.<\/p>\n

FIRST STAR<\/strong>
\nTia from Dark Rainbows “Location, location, location”<\/p>\n

\"tia-location\"<\/a>

Always putting herself and team in the best position.<\/p><\/div>\n

Tia played in position like a bauss and nailed in two goals, securing a hearty victory for the Rainbows. Reportedly “well-stretched and highly caffeinated,” T-$ was in primetime goal scoring position and also breaking up Gut Rot’s offensive flow. Not only did she score twice, but she was picking up Rot passes like Perko\u00a0picks up a stick: unexpected and slightly alarming<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Honorable mentions:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Liam of Cobra Kai<\/strong> for ensuring his team moved on to the next round by pumping two past the Hookers net minder. \u00a0Of all the teams that won this past Sunday the evil dojo looked the most dangerous.<\/p>\n

Walkie-Talkie and Mia<\/strong> for keeping the courts open late so us hockey junkies could hang out and scrimmage. \u00a0Thanks for breaking it all down too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Ophelia Baulls THIRD STAR Gut Rot “We come last, or not at all” Trying to describe Gut Rot is sometimes like trying to describe that guy you want to set your friend up with, who maybe isn’t a\u00a0total\u00a0smokeshow but is SO awesome it’s tough to describe exactly WHY. Here’s why this week: 1. They […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[236,315],"class_list":["post-13813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info","tag-playoffs","tag-three-stars"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13813"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13813"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13826,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13813\/revisions\/13826"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}