{"id":14143,"date":"2016-10-31T08:46:25","date_gmt":"2016-10-31T12:46:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=14143"},"modified":"2016-10-31T08:46:25","modified_gmt":"2016-10-31T12:46:25","slug":"recap-of-the-pbr-cup-final","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/recap-of-the-pbr-cup-final\/","title":{"rendered":"Recap of the PBR Cup Final"},"content":{"rendered":"

Congratulations to the Rehabs on their 2016 PBR Cup Championship! \u00a0Our sideline reporter, Dana, has the scoop on the action from the day. \u00a0This is her story.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"img_0517-copy\"<\/a>

2016 PBR Cup Champs!<\/p><\/div>\n

It\u00a0was a chilly day at Tompkins, we knew it was chilly because Rosie had broken out his Baja and appeared to be hiding inside it, like some kind of magical creature from The Hobbit. A motley group of playoff losers (i.e. everyone not on Rehabs or LBS, Inc.) lined the sidelines, ready for some action.<\/p>\n

Not among those losers were Rachel Greene and Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli. Both of whom were stuck in traffic. I sent them the following texts during the game to keep them up to speed. This is an actually transcript of our texts. In cases where they names have been left out it is because I don\u2019t know them.<\/p>\n

Mdf: Dana, what\u2019s the score?!
\nMe: 1-0 LBS!
\nMdf: Go LBS!
\nMe: But Rehabs are dominating
\nMDF: NOOOO
\nMe: They just aren\u2019t scoring. Emotions are running high. Water break. (was that a haiku??)
\nRG: In traffic, be there in 45.<\/p>\n

Me: Rehbas just tried to score a goal with their body. It\u2019s a goal but the guy is thrown out for running the goalie.
\nMDF: Running the goalie, I don\u2019t even know what that is?
\nMe: It\u2019s like, the guy is inside the whole net, and Tim is also in there\u2026 somewhere
\nRG: Ugh
\nMe: Tim might be hurt. Ok, he\u2019s shaking it off, back in the net.<\/p>\n

\"Sorry<\/a>

Sorry kid, but running over a goalie is two thumbs down.<\/p><\/div>\n

Me: Holy crap, LBS just scored again and it was pretty. Cherie got it!
\nMDF: go LBS!!!!!
\nMe: Even Eric looks impressed.<\/p>\n

Me: Oh god, Rehabs just scored again.
\nMDF: Who scored?
\nMe: Ryann.
\nRG: Mixed feelings on that, love her.<\/p>\n

\"These<\/a>

These boobs were made for walk’n.<\/p><\/div>\n

Me: Worky just walked onto the court with Laura on his shoulders, Eli just told him to get the F off the courts. It was very authoritative. Despite the fact that he couldn\u2019t stop smiling.<\/p>\n

Me: One of the guys from LBS is wearing a Blink 182 tank top. This does not bode well.<\/p>\n

MDF: DANA WHAT IS HAPPENEING?
\nRG: YES DANA WHAT IS HAPPENING?
\nMe: Everyone\u2019s drinking. Oh, you mean in the game \u2013 it\u2019s half time.<\/p>\n

Me: The guy from Rehabs who tried to run over Tim is back.
\nMe: Now he\u2019s limping off, I think he hurt his knee. Karma\u2019s a bitch.
\nRG: Did you just Chadwick a bitch??<\/p>\n

\"Champion.\"<\/a>

Champion.<\/p><\/div>\n

Me: Oh no, stupid shorts scored.
\nMe: Bryan just called the sun vicious. The Rehabs are playing against both LBS and mother nature. AND THEY ARE WINNING.
\nMDF: F*cking traffic.<\/p>\n

Me: omg, another Rehab just tried to score with their body. They forgot the ball this time. YOU CAN\u2019T SCORE WITH JUST YOUR BODY REHBAS! You need the BAAAALLLL
\nMDF: What\u2019s the score now, 4-2?
\nMe: Rehabs just cheered their own water break\u2026.
\nMDF: Uhh, what?<\/p>\n

Me: the asshole chants have begun. Also, the heckle wall is screaming \u201checkle\u201d which seems lazy to me? JSB thinks it\u2019s post modern. I\u2019m not sure I agree.<\/p>\n

Me: Now Bryan is narrating things that are not happening, such as \u201cIt\u2019s a goal!\u201d (no one scored)<\/p>\n

Meredith: Daaaannnaaaa what\u2019s happening???
\nMe: Rehabs won.
\nRG: Let\u2019s go drink.<\/p>\n

\"GCp_zzHIgehUsVCMQ28YEg-large\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Congratulations to the Rehabs on their 2016 PBR Cup Championship! \u00a0Our sideline reporter, Dana, has the scoop on the action from the day. \u00a0This is her story. It\u00a0was a chilly day at Tompkins, we knew it was chilly because Rosie had broken out his Baja and appeared to be hiding inside it, like some kind […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[338],"class_list":["post-14143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info","tag-pbr-cup"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14143"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14143"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14143\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14149,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14143\/revisions\/14149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}