{"id":17207,"date":"2018-03-22T08:57:37","date_gmt":"2018-03-22T12:57:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=17207"},"modified":"2018-03-22T08:57:37","modified_gmt":"2018-03-22T12:57:37","slug":"2018-katz-division-preivew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/2018-katz-division-preivew\/","title":{"rendered":"2018 Katz Division Preivew"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Arya Stark<\/em><\/p>\n

After a long, painful and sometimes depraved four months off, the 2018 season is just about ready to get underway.\u00a0 In 2017 the Third Division (aka the Katz Division aka the Welcome To The Johnson’s Division aka we really need to just settle on division names and be done with it) featured three of the league’s top six teams in points, multiple top scorers, the rookie of the year and some of the\u00a0finest shotgunning<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0group sex<\/a>\u00a0this league has ever seen.\u00a0 Cro and the Hookers are gone but the rest of the division remains along with a new franchise from the francophone region of BTSH.\u00a0 Who will take the crown this year?\u00a0 Who will be relegated to D4?\u00a0 Who will drink the most?\u00a0 Who will hook up with the most team members?\u00a0 Answers to some of these and many of life’s other great mysteries below.<\/p>\n

Cobra Kai<\/u><\/strong>
\n2017 Record:<\/strong>\u00a013-5-0; 26 points, 5th overall, 2nd in division
\n2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation (based on goals for\/against):<\/strong>\u00a029.45 points
\n2017 Playoff Finish:<\/strong>\u00a0Eliminated in the Sweet 16 by Math in a 12\/5 upset.
\nThree Year Aggregate Points:\u00a0<\/strong>63 points<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Slow down Olivier. You are heading over to Cobra Kai, not Gut Rot.<\/p><\/div>\n

What’s Right:<\/strong>\u00a0Cobra Kai rolled to a surprise 5th place finish and were in pole position in the division for basically the entire year until the final weekend of the season.\u00a0 Led by LJ, Will, Liam and the ROY selection the shook the world, Campbell, they were a force to be reckoned with until the opening round of the playoffs when they were surprisingly eliminated by the 12th seeded Math.\u00a0 Now they’ve added Olivier and are loaded up for another run at the division (and league) crown.\u00a0 The question is,\u00a0are they the heroes or the villains<\/a>\u00a0of their own story?<\/p>\n

What’s Wrong:\u00a0<\/strong>The first round loss to Math was a shocker as this team was a sexy pick to advance to the final four.\u00a0 Will the memory of last year’s defeat hang heavy on their heads?\u00a0 If the Cobras\u00a0start singing<\/a>, all bets are off.\u00a0 Also Pete ditched my team in last week’s Frey-W tournament and\u00a0LJ is still passed out\u00a0<\/a>somewhere outside the Liberty Bell.<\/p>\n

Projected Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>1st in division, 4th overall and a trip to the final four.<\/p>\n

2018 Haiku:\u00a0<\/strong>
\nDojo remains strong
\nDisagree and you’ll get a
\nSwift kick to the face<\/p>\n

Gremlins<\/u><\/strong>
\n2017 Record:\u00a0<\/strong>12-6-0; 24 points, 7th overall, 3rd in division
\n2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation:\u00a0<\/strong>26.92 points
\n2017 Playoff Finish:<\/strong>\u00a0Eliminated in the Sweet 16 by Fuzz in a surprising 6-0 smackdown.
\nThree Year Aggregate Points:\u00a0<\/strong>60 points<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

The Big Three of the Gremlins.<\/p><\/div>\n

What’s Right:\u00a0<\/strong>The Gremlins boast an extremely talented roster.\u00a0 Erich and Cody are a lock for 10+ goals while Marcella’s coming off a huge rookie year where she finished second in the female scoring race and the Senators actually didn’t suck.\u00a0 Jamie remains one of the best in the league between the pipes and their roster is filled out with savages like Tim and Alex.<\/p>\n

What’s Wrong:\u00a0<\/strong>The Gremmies went into their playoff matchup against Fuzz a slight underdog with a puncher’s chance at a minor upset.\u00a0 Instead they got shellacked 6-0 to Glanzer and co.\u00a0 According to sources there was only a minor amount of drinking before the game which may have actually contributed to their lackluster play.\u00a0 Rockoff earned one of the league’s inaugural Pharaoh medals of freedom last week by shotgunning a 24 oz tallboy but will need to stop up his threesome game if he’s going to get a playoff win under his belt.<\/p>\n

Projected Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>2nd in division, 8th overall and a trip to the elite eight.<\/p>\n

2018 Haiku:\u00a0<\/strong>
\nLots of great players
\nJust make sure you don’t impede
\nWalker’s playing time<\/p>\n

Poutine Machine<\/u><\/strong>
\n2017 Record:<\/strong>\u00a011-5-2; 24 points, 7th overall, 2nd in division
\n2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation:\u00a0<\/strong>24.34 points
\n2017 Playoff Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>Beat the Butchers before going down to Filthier in the Quarterfinals.
\nThree Year Aggregate Points:<\/strong>\u00a054<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Don’t put the cart before the horse.<\/p><\/div>\n

What’s Right:\u00a0<\/strong>Poutine was the surprise of the first half of last season, breezing to a 7-2 early season record and a second place spot in the\u00a0midseason power ranks<\/a>(even if the author of that piece may have been slightly biased).\u00a0 They’ve got a solid core in Sully, Mikey, Charizard, JoAnn and like three different goalies on the roster who could start on most teams.\u00a0 Rumor has it they’ve added one or two rookies this year and are gearing up for another quick start to the season.<\/p>\n

What’s Wrong:<\/strong>\u00a0Poutine is coming off a big season, finishing 7th overall, winning their division and pulling off a first round upset against the Butchers in the sweet 16.\u00a0 However, they won’t be sneaking up on anybody this year and may also find life in the Katz division to be less friendly than expected, even in light of rumors that team leadership offered to move directly to the Soko division.\u00a0 Can they pull a repeat of their 2017 season?\u00a0\u00a0And why are their fans so desperate?<\/a><\/p>\n

Projected Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>3rd in division, 10th overall and a trip to the elite eight.<\/p>\n

2018 Haiku:<\/strong>
\nSully works for the parks
\nCharlotte gets drunk and destroys them
\nWhat awesome teammates<\/p>\n

Instant Karma<\/u><\/strong>
\n2017 Record:\u00a0<\/strong>5-12-1; 11 points, 16th overall, 4th in division
\n2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation:<\/strong>\u00a09.44 points
\n2017 Playoff Finish:<\/strong>\u00a0Eliminated in a thrilling play-in round OT classic by the Denim Demons.
\nThree Year Aggregate Points:\u00a0<\/strong>42<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Teams that hang together (hopefully) win together.<\/p><\/div>\n

What’s Right:\u00a0<\/strong>Last year’s Karma team struggled out of the gate in something of a rebuilding year, eventually finishing in 16th place and earning a home playoff game against the 17th seeded Demons.\u00a0 They played a very strong match and have added a bunch of upstart rookies to their squad who like hockey, love alcohol but have yet to comment on their preferences towards recreational drugs.\u00a0 Isaac and Chadwick will no doubt have their squad ready to go by\u00a0Sunday\u00a0and half of them writing for the website by June.<\/p>\n

What’s Wrong:\u00a0<\/strong>Karma boasts some of the tallest players in all of BTSH, but unfortunately this isn’t a basketball league and we have strict rules on high sticks and high balls (but thankfully not high people).\u00a0\u00a0Their playoff game against the Demons was a classic; down 2-1 with under a minute left, they pulled Steve and tied the game with under 40 seconds left, sending Karma stadium into an absolute frenzy.\u00a0 Just 7 seconds from reaching a shootout, however, they were instead sent packing by an OT winner from Zach F.\u00a0 Strong leadership will be needed to push this team over the hump in 2018.<\/p>\n

Projected Finish:<\/strong>\u00a04th in division, 13th overall in points and a trip to the sweet 16 as Karma will notch their first playoff win since giving the Elves a franchise KO-ing loss in 2015.<\/p>\n

2018 Haiku:\u00a0<\/strong>
\nScrappy mix of talent
\nWill improve on last year’s finish
\nIsaac is handsome<\/p>\n

Denim Demons<\/u><\/strong>
\n2017 Record:<\/strong>\u00a05-13-0; 10 points, 17th overall, 5th in division
\n2017 Pythagorean Win Expectation:\u00a0<\/strong>9 points
\n2017 Playoff Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>Won the aforementioned OT classic before getting bounced by the Rehabs 6-0.
\nThree Year Aggregate Points:\u00a0<\/strong>49<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Post game melty ice cream? Add some beer with a box of wine and the Demons could host a social with the Gremlins.<\/p><\/div>\n

What’s Right:\u00a0<\/strong>The Demons are firmly in the rebuilding phase of their trajectory as a franchise.\u00a0 No longer just that top division team that everyone loves to hate (aka just hates), the Demons have rebranded themselves as a fun team that may still piss off refs and opponents, but makes bartenders very happy when they hit them up for six hours every\u00a0Sunday.\u00a0 They picked up a bunch of free agents at the scrimmage last week and are hoping to avoid the ignominious distinction of potentially being the first franchise to be relegated three straight years (need a Glanzer fact check on this one).<\/p>\n

What’s Wrong:\u00a0<\/strong>The Demons followed up a rousing victory over Karma with a disappointing showing against Cherie, Eric and the eventual runner-up Rehabs.\u00a0 They’ve added some new players via free agency and Brad’s ice hockey connections, but is a guy with a cardboard cutout decoy wife really someone you want to rely on for talent evaluation?<\/p>\n

Projected Finish:\u00a0<\/strong>5th in division, 18th overall and a trip to Doublewide.<\/p>\n

Haiku:\u00a0<\/strong>
\nThey don’t eat shellfish
\nBut are a talented team
\nStill will get relegated<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Arya Stark After a long, painful and sometimes depraved four months off, the 2018 season is just about ready to get underway.\u00a0 In 2017 the Third Division (aka the Katz Division aka the Welcome To The Johnson’s Division aka we really need to just settle on division names and be done with it) featured […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17207"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17207"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17218,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17207\/revisions\/17218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}