{"id":174,"date":"2008-04-04T06:49:27","date_gmt":"2008-04-04T11:49:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/2008\/04\/04\/season-preview-mighty-squirrels\/"},"modified":"2008-04-04T06:49:27","modified_gmt":"2008-04-04T11:49:27","slug":"season-preview-mighty-squirrels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/season-preview-mighty-squirrels\/","title":{"rendered":"Season Preview: Mighty Squirrels"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4>Come On Man, I&#8217;m Not Italian<\/h4>\n<h4><a href=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/rockywithshirt.JPG\" title=\"Rocky\"><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/rockywithshirt.JPG\" alt=\"Rocky\" \/><\/p>\n<p><\/a><\/h4>\n<p><strong>Color<\/strong>: Brown\/Orange<br \/>\n<strong>Year Founded<\/strong>: 2005<br \/>\n<strong>2007 Regular Season Finish<\/strong>: 4-13-0-3 (14th place)<br \/>\n<strong>2007 Playoff Result<\/strong>: Lost to Dark Rainbows in first round<br \/>\n<strong>Key Additions<\/strong>: Cole Jr., ZY Jr., Charles Jr.\u00a0 They will be redshirted until 2025, but will join head cheerleader Jason \u201cCheek\u201d Cheek on the sideline.<br \/>\n<strong>Key Losses<\/strong>: Kyle Fogden (Canada)<br \/>\n<strong>Fan Base<\/strong>: Laura the Bartender<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->The Squirrels are walking with a little extra swagger in their step this year, as they enter\u00a0a new era of leadership\u00a0under Captain Rachel Greene and her Ass Captain Marie Marberg.\u00a0 In fact, Greene has already concocted an aggressive plan for the 2008 season, including:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Winning one of their many overtime shootout appearances<\/li>\n<li>Getting Marberg to stop defending the quality of Ikea furniture<\/li>\n<li>Having Cheek maintain the distance from Gary Kowalski which was specified in the restraining order<\/li>\n<li>Outlasting Andrea \u201cVegetable Lasagna\u201d Schloeder at the bar (&#8220;PLEASE!&#8221;)<\/li>\n<li>Getting Arthur \u201cLil\u2019 Weezy\u201d Revechkis to stop wearing the pink headband<\/li>\n<li>Procuring better fitting gloves for Jesse Kalb, to ensure they don&#8217;t \u201cfall off\u201d again this season.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Unfortunately, none of these points addresses the Squirrels&#8217; biggest weak spot, Tim \u201c(S)crappy\u201d Gray.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rapper They Closely Resemble:<\/strong> <em>Jurassic 5<\/em>.\u00a0 Perhaps a bit of a throwback to the good old days of BTSH, they\u2019re always good to get a party started.\u00a0 Unfortunately, until they attain more serious results, they cannot be regarded as a serious entity.<br \/>\n<strong>Fast Fact:<\/strong> Rob Gorden believes that the statue of Red Auerbach in Faneuil Hall is the most romantic place on Earth.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ROSTER<br \/>\n<\/strong>Charles Asch<br \/>\nEric Breitman<br \/>\nScott Brower<br \/>\nJason &#8220;Cheek&#8221; Cheek<br \/>\nEric Cole<br \/>\nRitchie Duncan<br \/>\nCarine Favris<br \/>\nRob Gorden (G)<br \/>\nTim &#8220;Scrappy&#8221; Gray<br \/>\nRachel &#8220;A-Korn&#8221; Greene (C)<br \/>\nJesse Kalb<br \/>\nZ.Y. Kesselman<br \/>\nGary Kowlaski<br \/>\nNicole Lanctot<br \/>\nSvatrick Larsen<br \/>\nMarie Marberg (C)<br \/>\nAmanda Melson<br \/>\nDave Paglia<br \/>\nArthur &#8220;Lil&#8217; Weezy&#8221; Revechkis<br \/>\nAndrea &#8220;Vegetable Lasagna&#8221; Schloeder<br \/>\nMary Simons<br \/>\nMiky Wolf<br \/>\nAl<br \/>\nMike<br \/>\nTommy<br \/>\nKyle Fogden (Hononary Member)\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Come On Man, I&#8217;m Not Italian Color: Brown\/Orange Year Founded: 2005 2007 Regular Season Finish: 4-13-0-3 (14th place) 2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Dark Rainbows in first round Key Additions: Cole Jr., ZY Jr., Charles Jr.\u00a0 They will be redshirted until 2025, but will join head cheerleader Jason \u201cCheek\u201d Cheek on the sideline. Key Losses: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[10,15,18],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2008-team-previews","tag-2008-season","tag-mighty-squirrels","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=174"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}