{"id":17501,"date":"2018-04-05T08:42:22","date_gmt":"2018-04-05T12:42:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=17501"},"modified":"2018-04-06T08:10:35","modified_gmt":"2018-04-06T12:10:35","slug":"week-2-previews-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-2-previews-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 2 Previews – Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dark Rainbows at Corlears Hookers<\/strong><\/p>\n

The courageous Dark Rainbows\u2019 redemption tour trudges on into the land of the deplorable Hookers.\u00a0 Armed with their keen wit, sharp elbows, kazoos and eye-bleeding bright jerseys the Candy Corn machine fears no Cro.\u00a0 After their first taste of BTSH the new blood K-Chang with a C (we\u2019re only guessing because a certain someone doesn\u2019t answer emails), dog loving Jessie D and Josh Wags are thirsty for more.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Sean returned in Week 1 for the Rainbows. Will Aaron make an appearance on Sunday?<\/p><\/div>\n

After last week\u2019s (errr\u2026 two weeks ago) forgettable opening day the Hookers are out for a little redemption of their own.\u00a0 They looked a little discombobulated in their 6-1 shellacking and Sarah has promised a more salty performance. \u00a0Hmmm\u2026. We shall see.<\/p>\n

Prediction:<\/em> Hopefully the third time (Week 3) will be a charm for Tia and her crew, because Tiffany gets busy and Week 2 goes to the Purple People Eaters, 5-1.<\/p>\n

What the Puck at Mathematics<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Orange Crush and October Saddening both had trouble finding the back of their opponent\u2019s net in Week 1, but we expect this match-up to be a high scoring affair.\u00a0 With Sarah is still rehabbing from a bionic hip upgrade, Math will be cycling replica cyborgs in each line with the intent to cause havoc. \u00a0\u00a0And with Sam and Bradley back in mix for Math the Puck’s dependable D of Noah, Emily and Eric will have their hands full\u2026.\u00a0 Ah, but we shouldn\u2019t forget about the blistering fierce rage of Susie and Aisling<\/a>, whose shared mutant power is retribution. \u00a0\u00a0(Note to Math: stay on their good side.)<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: A high scoring affair it is as Math narrowly eeks out a victory, 2-1.<\/p>\n

Tompkins Square Riots at Gouging Anklebiters<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot to like about what the Riots did in the off-season with their squad.\u00a0 Not only did they convince Sharif to come back, but they also brought on some new players with old-school BTSH values.\u00a0 And with Joe already in mid-season scoring form this is going to be a team to keep an eye on.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Dave GDR in the foreground rocking his patented stand up style. And back in those days we only had a Heckle Doorway.<\/p><\/div>\n

Speaking of teams to keep an eye on, or better yet watch out for, are the Anklebiters.\u00a0 They came storming out of the gate in Week 1 and looked like one of the hungriest teams in the league.\u00a0 The reigning Captain of the Year, Phil, did some minor tinkering with the squad and placing Joe P back on defense already looks like a brilliant move.\u00a0 (#whereisworky)<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Diana is dragged off the court again, but her Biters get the job done in another booooo-worthy performance, 6-1.<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters at Gut Rot<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Big things have small beginnings\u2019 \u2013 said a fictional android from the future that was hell-bent on playing God.\u00a0 Well, Caroline might not be interested in playing that role, but as captain she understands that rebuilds have growing pains.\u00a0 It is going to take some time for Jake, Mia and Greg to gel with their new teammates, but we\u2019re confident that they\u2019ve got the chops to mentor raw talent.<\/p>\n

Oh, Gut Rot, it will take more than borrowing Mary Mary Mega Touch to have a fighter\u2019s chance in this one.\u00a0 But we like what we\u2019ve seen from your disorderly bunch here or there over the past 13 months and are confident that you\u2019ll show . . . up on time.\u00a0 Having said that, just feed Akhil and Heather the ball like we did drinks at our last Prom.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: That new Sky Fighter is those hot lime shorts gets his team on the scoreboard first, but with Ed pulled Ramon forces OT with Gut Rot prevailing again in a shootout, 3-2.<\/p>\n

Butchers at Poutine Machine<\/strong>
\nBy Richiehero<\/em><\/p>\n

Some Russian friend I know got me into each teams game email chain and here is what was said.<\/p>\n

Butchers Emails:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Georgine: <\/strong>Guys, I want a clean game this week. Remember, BTSH is fun and we’re just chasing a silly orange ball so if Poutine does anything, let’s turn the other cheek. If you feel the need to say anything, try to say, “I feel” instead of using absolutes. For instance, you can tell Jerome, “When you celebrate after making a nice inbound pass, I feel you are disrespecting the game” rather than just saying, “You are disrespecting the game.”<\/p>\n

Tarzan (MDF’s brother): <\/strong>Tarzan going to fuck a Poutine up. Me like hitting. Also weather too cold to use orange ball, we use pink!<\/p>\n

MDF: <\/strong>I knew I should have recruited one of my other 5 brothers on this team.<\/p>\n

David St.J: <\/strong>Why doesn’t the media ever talk about me? I’m so fast. I’m really good. Is it because I secretly listen to Taylor Swift? I can’t help it, her music moves me!<\/p>\n

Matt Della: <\/strong>Shut up David. I’m even better than you and I’ve never been mentioned.<\/p>\n

Rachel G.: <\/strong>Guys let\u2019s stick to the game. Dependable just beat Poutine’s team in Moffo. I scored, I scored, I scored!!! Hey Burke, you traitor, you play for Poutine’s Moffo team. Remember when I scored off you?<\/p>\n

Burke: <\/strong>(Keeps Rachel’s name on list<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Poutine Emails:<\/strong><\/p>\n

BSA: <\/strong>OK guys, we got a tough one this week. The Butchers are our biggest rivals. Normally I only send 2 selfies to you, but this week, I’m sending 3!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Nauseous Fact: on the ceiling above BSA’s bed is a photo of BSA.<\/p><\/div>\n

BSA: <\/strong>Do you guys like the selfies I sent? Why hasn’t anyone replied?<\/p>\n

BSA: <\/strong>Is this like the thing in baseball when someone hits a home run and no one congratulates him and then everyone mobs him?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jo-Ann: <\/strong>I miss Sven.<\/p>\n

Prediction:<\/em>\u00a0Take the under. No way are 5 goals scored in this game. It almost definitely will be 2-1. I predicted Poutine to beat the Butchers in the playoffs last year, but this Sunday I’m going with the Butchers 2-1. Mike M. scores for Poutine, Tarzan and David score for Butchers. Charlotte continues her streak of never scoring in BTSH.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dark Rainbows at Corlears Hookers The courageous Dark Rainbows\u2019 redemption tour trudges on into the land of the deplorable Hookers.\u00a0 Armed with their keen wit, sharp elbows, kazoos and eye-bleeding bright jerseys the Candy Corn machine fears no Cro.\u00a0 After their first taste of BTSH the new blood K-Chang with a C (we\u2019re only guessing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17501"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17501"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17639,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17501\/revisions\/17639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}