{"id":18014,"date":"2018-05-04T08:32:54","date_gmt":"2018-05-04T12:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=18014"},"modified":"2018-05-04T10:35:38","modified_gmt":"2018-05-04T14:35:38","slug":"week-6-previews-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-6-previews-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 6 Previews – Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

BTSH’s First Annual Seis de Mayo celebration is this\u00a0Sunday, May 6<\/span><\/span>\u00a0(duh).\u00a0 Party begins around\u00a06:00 pm<\/span><\/span>\u00a0at Cholo Noir on 6th and A where we’ll have the following specials:<\/strong><\/p>\n

$4 Tecate<\/strong>
\n$5 Margaritas<\/strong>
\n$8 Tecate + Shot Special<\/strong><\/p>\n

Weather permitting, there will also be chips, salsa, pinatas and a mariachi band at the courts (only one of these is a lie).\u00a0 Come one come all and show your Cinco de Mayo hangover who’s boss with a bunch of your alcoholic leaguemates.<\/strong><\/div>\n

And now back to your previews.<\/em><\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters (4-1-0) at Instant Karma (4-0-1), Tompkins West, 1:00pm<\/strong>
\nby Hornswoggle<\/em><\/p>\n

I guess one can say that these two teams could have written off their 2017 season about two-thirds of the way through, but it seems that players on both sides took those results as sources of motivation for this year. What can we say about each squad, except that Puppy continues to tear things up and Karma\u2019s stellar netminder\u2014a league rookie, mind you\u2014has shown fine form between the sticks (\u201cposts\u201d\u2014I know, I just like proper<\/em> football, mmkay?).<\/p>\n

The running joke between fellow Poutiner Jon C. and me is whether Joe P. shows up to games and if he doesn\u2019t, it\u2019s because he\u2019s injured. Well, we saw him last Sunday, and he was fine, and the Biters won, so let\u2019s cross our fingers that nothing happened to him during the week so that he could guide his team to victory! He\u2019s already tallied four goals, and although that\u2019s half of the team leader\u2019s take, it\u2019s also equal to the Rainbows\u2019 goals for<\/em> to date (apologies for the dig, Tia!). Other players to look out for include Alex D. and Jared\u2014three goals apiece\u2014as well as Timmay or Bubblebath, whose GAAs are about 2.00.<\/p>\n

With Karma, let\u2019s just hope that coincidences don\u2019t further exacerbate their attendance woes for a second week straight. Having received some \u201cinsider info\u201d from my own adversary Isaac prior to the Poutine-Karma matchup that his team would be short and would have to frantically consult the FA directory, I knew the matchup would be Poutine\u2019s chance to cut their win streak, which we did by a narrow margin. Honestly, the Biters won\u2019t be as forgiving with the counterattack, so in addition to Chadtrick\u2019s league-leading reach and Nicole and Bill\u2019s defensive tandem, they\u2019ll need their quartet (Brianna, Cory, Derek, and Matt S., all with three goals each) to tranquilize their flesh-eating opponents for the entirety of the match.<\/p>\n

Prediction\/watchability:<\/em> I hope this is a real high-scoring barnburner, even with goaltending on both sides impressive as they are. I can see Craig\/Tim letting in at least one howler, and Puppy slicing through the Karma defense at breakneck speed to rifle in a couple. In the end, the Biters\u2019 defense will be a wall in the last 7 minutes, and they\u2019ll win convincingly 6-3 with Lesser Hemsworth Jr. Jr. bagging his first for the year.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Corlears Hookers at Poutine Machine<\/strong>
\nby Richiehero<\/em><\/p>\n

While I like to focus on hockey and let idiots like Walker make ridiculous jokes about team names, sometimes I have to step out of my comfort zone and talk about love.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Swipe right.<\/p><\/div>\n

Jo-Ann and Cro matched on Tinder and went on a date. This is how it went.<\/p>\n

They see each other and introduce themselves. Neither knows the other plays in BTSH.<\/p>\n

Cro:<\/strong>
\nUSA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann<\/strong>
\nI never heard these 3 letters put together like this before?<\/p>\n

Cro:\u00a0<\/strong>
\nMAGA!!!!!!! MAGA!!!!<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann
\nYou are very rude. I go to my safeplace rest of date!<\/p>\n

Cro:<\/strong>
\nGood game tonight, boys!<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann:<\/strong>
\nI wouldn’t know. Hockey team from Montreal no play.<\/p>\n

Cro:<\/strong>
\nProbie sucks!<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann<\/strong>
\nI actually know a Probie. He is very good at hockey.<\/p>\n

Cro:<\/strong>
\nI play hockey.<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann<\/strong>
\nI play hockey.<\/p>\n

Cro:<\/strong>
\nUSA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!!<\/p>\n

Jo-Ann<\/strong>
\nHopefully Olivier breaks up with Julie soon…<\/p>\n

Prediction:<\/em> Poutine defeats the Hookers, 2-1.<\/p>\n

Mathematics at Cobra Kai<\/strong>
\nby Isaac<\/em><\/p>\n

Seis de Mayo is going down this Sunday at BTSH! Have you heard?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

The saga continues.<\/p><\/div>\n

You know what else is going down? Those stinking Kais from the undefeated evil dojo, that\u2019s who. There is only so much magic that the city of brotherly love and their treasured daughter LJ have left in those enchanted beans they traded Sebastian for. Could this be the week that the clock strikes 12 on their luck and turns them into a pumpkin?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that we don\u2019t like Math and all of their splendor. We believe that they are capable of many great things – like counting, drinking and taking the inevitable L. But hey, Kim K. is now considered the voice of reason in her family, so ya never really know what could happen.<\/p>\n

Prediction:<\/em> a freshly pissed off Math team takes out their frustration on CK and hands them their first loss of the season, 4-3.<\/p>\n

What the Puck at Rehabs<\/strong>
\nby Isaac<\/em><\/p>\n

Like a porn star says when she\u2019s about to have sex with Johnny Rehab<\/a>, \u2018Let\u2019s get this over with.\u2019 The only difference is the Pucks won\u2019t be wired $130,000 worth of beers afterwards.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Happy Birthday, Mike. You killed it.<\/p><\/div>\n

Prediction:<\/em> the Pucks put up a good fight, but eventually begin making their way over to the Seis de Mayo stand in the second half. Rehabs win the game, 6-0.<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills at Mega Touch<\/strong>
\nby Isaac<\/em><\/p>\n

Going into this match-up Mega Touch will be riding Hanson\u2019s high from being named the First Star of Week 5.\u00a0 With the Jeffs becoming more involved in the game it appears that this team may be recapturing some of that magic from 2016.<\/p>\n

This could spell trouble for Roxy and Fresh Kills who are still hungover from last year\u2019s championship.\u00a0 Gabe and Ariel\u2019s measly 3 goals each through 5 games just comes off as lazy.\u00a0 Thank goodness Soko has Nick giving an eff.<\/p>\n

Prediction:<\/em> a valiant effort by Max and Mega Touch goes to waste as Natasha shuts it down and FK takes the W, 4-1.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BTSH’s First Annual Seis de Mayo celebration is this\u00a0Sunday, May 6\u00a0(duh).\u00a0 Party begins around\u00a06:00 pm\u00a0at Cholo Noir on 6th and A where we’ll have the following specials: $4 Tecate $5 Margaritas $8 Tecate + Shot Special Weather permitting, there will also be chips, salsa, pinatas and a mariachi band at the courts (only one of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18014","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18014"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18014"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18014\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18040,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18014\/revisions\/18040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18014"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18014"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18014"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}