{"id":18639,"date":"2018-07-11T08:26:56","date_gmt":"2018-07-11T12:26:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=18639"},"modified":"2018-07-11T08:26:56","modified_gmt":"2018-07-11T12:26:56","slug":"three-stars-of-week-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/three-stars-of-week-12\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Stars of Week 12"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/3stars.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-12146\" src=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/3stars.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"625\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/3stars.jpg 407w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/3stars-300x96.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 625px) 100vw, 625px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1707572.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-18648\" src=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1707572.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"33\" height=\"65\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1707572.png 603w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1707572-152x300.png 152w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1707572-520x1024.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 33px) 100vw, 33px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>by Cat<\/em><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span class=\"aBn\" tabindex=\"0\" data-term=\"goog_556465322\"><span class=\"aQJ\">Monday<\/span><\/span> I made the Walk of Shame back to Royale to retrieve my credit card from behind the bar, earning myself the first of many Not Stars this week. You know I put extra time into my outfit so that Ella would realize I\u2019m a Responsible Grown Up with a Real Job (also see: my approved membership into the NYC Ball Hockey LinkedIn Group) and not a Degenerate Overly Invested in a Recreational Sports League. She wasn\u2019t there. Nobody at Royale complimented my work onesie.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">As much as I delight in using 3 Stars as my personal livejournal, enough about me:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Third Star<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Alexa from Fuzz<\/strong><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">There\u2019s no video shootage, and I am running on deadline so I\u2019m not going to ask anyone what happened, but here\u2019s what I am pretty sure happened, based largely on a very blackmail-y email from Glanzer and a basic understanding of how hockey works:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">LBS scored some goals.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">Fuzz scored some goals.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">In fact,\u00a0now that I think of it, they scored the same number of goals.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">The game went to a shootout.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">Meanwhile,\u00a0Rich\/JW\/Jenn P were engaged in a Marx Brothers-esque juggle for a camcorder, which apparently still exist, even though everyone has smart phones these days.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">Alexa scored a goal.<\/li>\n<li dir=\"ltr\">Thusly, Fuzz won.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">This goes without saying, but Not Stars to Rich, Walker, and Jenn. Get your acts together.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_18644\" style=\"width: 225px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/alexa-ref.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-18644\" class=\"wp-image-18644 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/alexa-ref.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"215\" height=\"413\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/alexa-ref.png 215w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/alexa-ref-156x300.png 156w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 215px) 100vw, 215px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-18644\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">She also fills in as a ref from time to time.<\/p><\/div>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">I\u2019d also like to say to Alexa, a multi-talented person who can goaltend and score goals, a true renaissance woman, and it has nothing to do with what Rich has against me: <em>Damn gurl!<\/em><!--more--><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><strong>Second Star<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Cory from Instant Karma<\/strong><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Instant Karma has had a rough go of it, stringing together a choker of consecutive losses. <span class=\"aBn\" tabindex=\"0\" data-term=\"goog_556465323\"><span class=\"aQJ\">Sunday\u2019s<\/span><\/span> game against Mega Touch seemed it would end much the same way. However, those new shirts provided a sweet sweet hit of confidence they needed to turn things around. After bringing the score up to an even 3-3, Steven F held rock solid in the net and his team won their first game <span class=\"aBn\" tabindex=\"0\" data-term=\"goog_556465324\"><span class=\"aQJ\">in six weeks.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_18646\" style=\"width: 535px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1658072.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-18646\" class=\"wp-image-18646\" src=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1658072.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"525\" height=\"317\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1658072.png 848w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1658072-300x181.png 300w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Screenshot_20180710-1658072-768x464.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 525px) 100vw, 525px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-18646\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">THAT&#8217;S MY BOY!<\/p><\/div>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Because there can only be one two stars (or something): Cory was a standout, starting Karma on the right foot with their first goal, and then bringing it home with the shootout winning goal.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">I think I\u2019m supposed to say \u201clol shootouts\u201d here to keep up with the BTSH zeitgeist. Just trying to keep Media relevant!<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><strong>First Star<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Tim B from Butchers<\/strong><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span class=\"aBn\" tabindex=\"0\" data-term=\"goog_556465325\"><span class=\"aQJ\">Sunday<\/span><\/span> welcomed Tim back after a brief hiatus, and he served them well against the Rehabs, shutting it down 2-0. Butchers have not had the smoothest season &#8211; lots of ups, downs, and tough losses, including a 0-6 smackdown at their first meeting with the Rehabs &#8211; so this was a particularly sweet and well-earned victory.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">When asked his secret to brushing off the cobwebs and serving brick wall realness, Tim said knife-pig-D-fence. As interpreting his meaning requires a level of emoji literacy beyond \u201ceggplant means penis\u201d this reporter cannot comment beyond awarding Tim the coveted <em>Damn gurl<\/em>.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_14540\" style=\"width: 510px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Tim-B-in-net.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-14540\" class=\"wp-image-14540\" src=\"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Tim-B-in-net.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"348\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Tim-B-in-net.jpg 589w, https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Tim-B-in-net-300x209.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-14540\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">True, eggplant does mean penis.<\/p><\/div>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Sadly, there was Not-Star worthy news from the handshake line, inspiring me to tell the story of 2018 ROTY contender Jess D and 2017 ROTY snub Hogg. Once upon a time, What the Puck beat the shit out of the Rainbows and Zac was a bit of an eggplant about it. Jess D did not shake his hand, and Zac shamed her the only way he knew how: in fake tweets that only about eight people who bothered double-clicking read. In the end, they put aside their short-lived feud with the help of &#8211; what else &#8211; a free beer as an olive branch. The beef was fully put the rest <span class=\"aBn\" tabindex=\"0\" data-term=\"goog_556465326\"><span class=\"aQJ\">on Sunday<\/span><\/span> by a hard-fought but exceptionally cordial match in which WTP reasserted a win over the Rainbows.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">I hope everyone can learn a lesson from this tale, if only that I use my platform for Bowist propaganda.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Edit: OHHHH THE KNIFE-PIG IS A BUTCHER I GET IT NOW!!! Wow Tim B giving credit to his defense, what a great guy, great goalie.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><strong>Glanzer Participation Trophies!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">WTP recruited another Zac &#8211; Jess D did not shake his hand. Mostly because she was not there. Anyway, he scored a lot.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Campbell staked out a shutout against Poutine, helping Cobra Kai win, again, like they usually do. Fun fact: My second favorite use of this platform is to try and make a Poutine\/Cobra Kai rivalry A Thing against everyone\u2019s will! But seriously this was a heated contest and Olivier very nearly jinxed the whole thing by saying \u201cCampbell might have a shutout\u201d towards the end of the game &#8211; Not cool! That\u2019s a Not Star for you!<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">In general, I really appreciate that everyone noms their goalies for stars. You are good people and I\u2019m glad to be associated with you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Cat Monday I made the Walk of Shame back to Royale to retrieve my credit card from behind the bar, earning myself the first of many Not Stars this week. You know I put extra time into my outfit so that Ella would realize I\u2019m a Responsible Grown Up with a Real Job (also [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18639"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18639"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18650,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18639\/revisions\/18650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}