{"id":18814,"date":"2018-07-24T08:33:18","date_gmt":"2018-07-24T12:33:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=18814"},"modified":"2018-07-24T08:33:18","modified_gmt":"2018-07-24T12:33:18","slug":"hot-for-teacher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/hot-for-teacher\/","title":{"rendered":"Hot For Teacher"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Mia<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a few weeks since school let out for the summer. In this installment of 23 and Mia<\/strong>, some of our TEACHERS take time off from their time off to share what connects them.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Not only do they advance the puck, they advance humankind \u2014 they\u2019re BTSH teachers. These fine folks selflessly toil through unnecessary roughness, attitudes and accidents on the courts and off. They\u2019re making sure the future is not completely f*cked, and for that, we thank them. Meanwhile, they\u2019re thanking themselves by grabbing summer by the balls. Roll call, please:<\/p>\n

In attendance:<\/strong>
\nJJ from Cobra Kai<\/strong> – Teaches kindergarten and the cruel, cruel realities of life
\nAmy from Math<\/strong> – Doesn\u2019t actually teach math, she teaches 8th<\/sup> Grade Humanities, which really means Social Studies + English
\nRyan the Guy, from The Gremlins <\/strong>– Teaches 12th Grade AP Government and is an Assistant Principal of Social Studies<\/p>\n

Absent (in Minnesota):<\/strong>
\nRyann the Gal, from Fuzz <\/strong>– Taught 5th<\/sup> Grade Special Ed this past school year, but will be teaching technology to 1st<\/sup> \u2013 8th<\/sup> graders next year<\/p>\n

What are you most looking forward to during school’s off-season?<\/strong><\/p>\n

JJ:<\/strong> The slow and gradual end to work-related dreams\/night terrors.
\n[Review: JJ shows sign of stress though thoroughly capable, especially when it comes to engaging with the students via music and art. Will have the guidance counselor keep an eye on him.]<\/em><\/p>\n

Amy:<\/strong> Um\u2026 school\u2019s off-season.
\n[Review: Incomplete. No goal.]<\/em><\/p>\n

Ryan the Guy:<\/strong> Planning my wedding in Ireland and eating my face off in Chengdu before visiting Everest Base Camp and the Great Wall.
\n[Review: A+]<\/em><\/p>\n

Ryann the Gal:<\/strong> Obviously, I\u2019m looking forward to going to Minnesota and relaxing.
\n[Review: B as in \u201cBye Felicia! Gonna dress like the Buddha and drink beer on a boat.\u201d]<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Not everyone wants to ref at BTSH, but at school, you have to be the enforcer. What was a memorable offense and what was the punishment?<\/strong><\/p>\n

JJ:<\/strong> One day when I was reading a story to the critters, I got about halfway through when I hear this high-pitched voice saying, \u201cPing!..ping!..ping!\u201d I look to my right, and sitting there with an elated grin on his face is one of the young gentlemen, his pants unbuttoned. He is gleefully flicking a proud boner, all the while accompanying \u2014and encouraging said boner\u2014 with his distinctive \u201cPing!\u201d The rest of the class was oblivious to this wanton display of exhibitionism, either because they were so enthralled with my gripping interpretation of Super Fudge<\/u> (what I\u2019d like to think), or more likely, they simply found nothing unusual or disturbing about another child in the room listening to the story \u201cal fresco\u201d. I casually and calmly requested for our free-spirited friend to \u201cpull \u2018em up\u201d and then continued with the story.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Ping Ping Ping!<\/p><\/div>\n

Amy:<\/strong> The great thing about teaching 8th<\/sup> graders is that they often have a sense of humor and know when they\u2019re being annoying, so they\u2019ll take you seriously when you give them a ridiculous consequence.<\/p>\n

I had a kid this year who fit that description to a T \u2013 he was equal parts annoying and delightful. He tallied up a lot of offenses this year. I can\u2019t remember what this particular offense was, but his punishment was that he had to research and write two paragraphs about the Swedish super-group Abba. Here\u2019s an excerpt, grammar\/spelling mistakes and all<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n

ABBA was a swedish pop band that made chart topping hits such as Dancing Queen And Mama Mia. The Name Is a conglomeration of the last initials of the artists last names.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2026 ABBA got there own movie. In 2008 they got \u201cMama Mia.\u201d that movie later went to broadway as a play by the same name. Both featured music from the group and is one of the most recent projects the group has had after they split up in 1982.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

In 2008 ABBA got Mama Mia.<\/p><\/div>\n

Ryan the Guy:<\/strong> I wish this only happened once, but it didn\u2019t. I\u2019ve had to ask a number of students, \u201cWhat does it mean when you wrote, \u2018for more information click here.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Ryann the Gal<\/strong>: A kid peed his pants on the subway. I didn\u2019t punish him, I snuck him out and told him not to tell him anyone, but he kept slipping up and telling people to go to the bathroom or they\u2019d be like him.<\/p>\n

In the infamous flick “The Breakfast Club”, high schoolers serve detention and learn there is a rebel, a princess, an outcast, a brain and a jock in all of us. We know you’re part jock, please choose the next two identities that make you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

How many times this past school year did you see kids doing The Floss?<\/strong><\/p>\n

JJ:<\/strong> More than I care to remember. Somehow, I have a feeling Cronauer might be pretty adept at it.<\/p>\n

Amy:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know what that is. Either because I\u2019m a middle school teacher and I\u2019m not cool enough, or, because The Floss is so old and uncool that my 8th<\/sup> graders would be like, \u201cOMG, who does The Floss???\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Flossing is so cheesy.<\/p><\/div>\n

Ryan the Guy:<\/strong> My kids are from Brooklyn. They don\u2019t have time for flossing. But, I think Mia can get a floss on. [Editor\u2019s Note: No.]\n

Ryann the Gal:<\/strong> OMG, I\u2019d see it every morning! There\u2019s a kid who had to take medicine each day and it made him really hyper. So, he\u2019d floss then run away. Then he\u2019d come back and do it again over and over till his meds kicked in. I know how to do it, my students taught me.<\/p>\n

There are many great people in the league, but who is your teacher’s pet and why?<\/strong><\/p>\n

JJ:<\/strong> Russell (Big Russ), because I can always count on riling him up to deliver some quality and \u201ccheap heat\u201d-level chirps during a game.<\/p>\n

Amy:<\/strong> Sam N! He\u2019s just like my favorite 8th<\/sup> graders: he\u2019s smart, a little bit of a troublemaker, and he knows how to turn on the charm.<\/p>\n

Ryan the Guy:<\/strong> My pet knows who they are. If I told you, I would be a bad teacher. But, they are my pet because they stop all the balls, and they have a name you can\u2019t spell, and they laugh a lot…even at my teacher jokes.<\/p>\n[Editor\u2019s note: could they be your lovely fianc\u00e9 and fellow Gremlin Maire, pronounced Mo-rah?]\n

\"\"<\/a>

Congratulations on sealing the deal, Captain Ryan!<\/p><\/div>\n

Ryann the Gal:<\/strong> I guess I\u2019d have to say Walsh, because he taught me about Cecil and Harambe. And he taught me about Friend\u2019s Mountain.<\/p>\n

How do you teach your kids that there is no “I” in TEAM.<\/strong><\/p>\n

JJ:<\/strong> I remind them that \u2014while there is no \u201cI\u201d in TEAM\u2014 there is one in the title of a delightful game of swift and severe consequence known as \u201cRun \u2018Till You Puke\u201d.<\/p>\n

Amy:<\/strong> This seems like a spelling problem, in which case, I always tell kids the more you read, the better your vocabulary.<\/p>\n

Ryan the Guy:<\/strong> My students learn that there is no \u201cI\u201d in team when I ask them to kneel on rice in the corner for making a spelling mistake. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

Ryann the Gal:\u00a0 <\/strong>Wait, what? There isn\u2019t an \u201cI\u201d in TEAM?! I\u2019ve been teaching them how to spell it wrong this whole time!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Thank you teachers\u2014see you next year! Or, next Sunday!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Mia It\u2019s been a few weeks since school let out for the summer. In this installment of 23 and Mia, some of our TEACHERS take time off from their time off to share what connects them. Not only do they advance the puck, they advance humankind \u2014 they\u2019re BTSH teachers. These fine folks selflessly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18814"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18828,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18814\/revisions\/18828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}