{"id":18987,"date":"2018-08-03T08:28:48","date_gmt":"2018-08-03T12:28:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=18987"},"modified":"2018-08-03T15:04:29","modified_gmt":"2018-08-03T19:04:29","slug":"week-16-previews-mad-libs-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-16-previews-mad-libs-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 16 Previews – Mad Libs Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Fuzz v Biters\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: with 17 minutes left in regulation the game will end with Glanzer as a – 2.<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills at Gouging Anklebiters<\/strong><\/p>\n

Listen up, Anklebiters<\/u><\/strong>. You are not Barch Pile<\/u><\/strong>. You are not a Phil<\/u><\/strong> or Sheena PBR<\/u><\/strong>. You’re the same Kentucky Wristwatch<\/u><\/strong> organic Phil<\/u><\/strong> as everything else.
\nYou\u2019re not your Coco<\/u><\/strong>. You\u2019re not how much Diana <\/u><\/strong>you have in the hangover<\/u><\/strong>. You are not the Chug<\/u><\/strong> you Amy<\/u><\/strong>. You\u2019re not the Gabe <\/u><\/strong>of your Fresh Kills<\/u><\/strong>. You are not your fucking Eugene<\/u><\/strong>. You are all winning<\/u><\/strong> all losing,<\/u><\/strong> dead rats<\/u><\/strong> of the Sarah.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Biters win by 2.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Gut Rot at Dark Rainbows<\/strong>
\nMad Libs nursery rhymes edition
\nby Veronica Sawyer<\/em><\/p>\n

There was an young woman who lived in a rainbow<\/strong>.<\/u>
\nDiane had so many tequilas<\/u><\/strong>, she danced to and fro.
\nShe ate some hot dogs<\/u><\/strong> that aren\u2019t sandwiches,
\nAnd shouted up to the heavens \u201cGUT ROT BITCHEZZZ\u201d<\/u>!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yetter<\/strong> Dumpty sat on a wall,
\nWes shot a Mylec<\/u><\/strong> ball.
\nAll the king’s chuggers<\/u><\/strong> and all the king’s men
\nCouldn’t beat Morgen<\/u><\/strong> at 2 girls, 1 cup AGAIN.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hickory, Becca<\/u><\/strong>-ry, chirp.
\nJessICA<\/strong> was drinking a Slurp<\/u><\/strong>.
\nThe clock struck four,
\nAkhil<\/u><\/strong> did not score.
\nHickory, Becca<\/strong>-ry chirp.<\/p>\n

Gilligan<\/u><\/strong> and Scott
\nWent up the rink<\/u><\/strong> hot
\nTo fetch a 2 on 1
\nAgainst Greenwald and Tia<\/u><\/strong>
\nBut Scotty<\/strong> fell down
\nTo which Cat<\/strong> and Bernstein<\/strong> said “see ya”.<\/p>\n

Twinkle, twinkle, little Kellie<\/strong>,
\nDamn, Ed\u2019s<\/strong> gear is smelly<\/strong>.<\/u>
\nThe Bows\u2019 camaraderie<\/u><\/strong> lights their way,
\nWhilst Bryan<\/strong> tells all the girls \u201csup bae\u201d.<\/p>\n

Prediction: <\/em>Gut Rot are coming off an impressive win against the Gremlins, while the Rainbows are coming off an impressive game, which ended in heartbreak with less than 3 minutes left.<\/p>\n

The Bows\u2019 hearts stay as broken as the health care system in this country, as Rot take this one, 3-2.<\/p>\n

Mathematics at Fuzz<\/strong><\/p>\n

All Fuzz<\/u><\/strong> make Glanzer<\/u><\/strong>, but a good Norris<\/u> <\/strong>yields when he knows his Sarah<\/u><\/strong> is happy hour<\/u><\/strong>,<\/u> and Alexa<\/u><\/strong> the cheapshot<\/u><\/strong>. The only Amy<\/u><\/strong> is Jeff<\/u><\/strong>.\u201d \u201cGo then if you Meyer<\/u><\/strong>, but remember, no matter how Justin<\/u><\/strong> your Mathematics<\/u><\/strong>, those who Walsh<\/u><\/strong> you will Sarah<\/u><\/strong> you ball.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Fuzz win by 3.<\/p>\n

Denim Demons at Tompkins Square Riots<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now you all better Popack<\/u><\/strong> this and Rosen<\/u><\/strong> it Demons<\/u><\/strong>. No matter Dave<\/u><\/strong> or Tracy <\/u><\/strong>is Kevin<\/u>‘ <\/strong>you, man, you show it and you are Riots<\/u><\/strong>. You are winning<\/u><\/strong>‘ a Boatsex Brad<\/u><\/strong> in yourselves for them to Laura Mac<\/u><\/strong> in a red hot Breasticle<\/u><\/strong> and open it. Wide. Man, you wanna get past the pity point<\/u><\/strong> when they start Kevin<\/u><\/strong> you about\u00a0Tracy<\/u><\/strong>? You wanna loser <\/u><\/strong>in this Suz<\/u> <\/strong>world? You play it Zachs.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Demons win by 2.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Credit: Mia.<\/p><\/div>\n

Mega Touch at What the Puck<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me tell *Hogg<\/strong>*<\/u> something, Pucks<\/u><\/strong>. You pull any of your Alok Noah <\/strong><\/u>with Julie<\/u><\/strong>, you Eric<\/u><\/strong> a Claire<\/u><\/strong> out on the Shelly<\/u><\/strong> I’ll take it Mega<\/u><\/strong> from Hanif<\/u><\/strong>, and Yury<\/u><\/strong> it up your Emily <\/u><\/strong>and pull the fucking Noah<\/u> <\/strong>’til it goes “Jorts<\/u><\/strong>.”<\/u><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Mega wins by 1.<\/p>\n

Rehabs at LBS, Inc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You’re Johnny Rehabin<\/u>‘<\/strong> me, Klion!<\/u><\/strong> Okay, these are Rehabs <\/u><\/strong>stuff. Now pay attention. First, you take the Arya<\/u><\/strong>. You Roberts<\/u><\/strong> the Ramirez <\/u><\/strong>on the Hicks<\/u><\/strong>.<\/u> Then, you Sizzler<\/u><\/strong> the LBS<\/u><\/strong>. When the Scotty K2<\/u><\/strong> you water break<\/u><\/strong> it on the Sena<\/u><\/strong>. Then, you Kelsy<\/u><\/strong> it with the other end and then you stuff it.<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: LBS wins by 6.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Gremlins at Poutine Machine<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is Poutine<\/u><\/strong>. It’s twelve Mills<\/u><\/strong> north of Marcella<\/u><\/strong> and a few AJ<\/u> <\/strong>south of Charlotte <\/u><\/strong>to Death. It’s located solidly on the Nicky <\/u><\/strong>of Larry<\/u><\/strong>. My BSA <\/u>.<\/strong> In a word, Gremlins<\/u>.<\/strong> It’s been here for seven Larry<\/u><\/strong>, but every single Ilannis <\/u><\/strong>is new. We’ve got K Mac<\/u><\/strong>, fishing,<\/strong> and a charming view of the hobos.<\/u><\/strong> The only problems are the pests. Most places have mice or Walkietalkie<\/u><\/strong>. We have… Busch.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Poutine wins by 2.<\/p>\n

Cobra Kai at Instant Karma<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your Thor<\/u><\/strong> is Brianna<\/u><\/strong>, he is in Karma<\/u>,<\/strong> in a 5-Star Cobra Kai<\/u>.<\/strong> I was ordered to Liam<\/u> <\/strong>him to Campbell<\/u> <\/strong>with a Derek<\/u><\/strong> in his Matt <\/u><\/strong>instead I gave him a first class Bill <\/u><\/strong>to LJ<\/u><\/strong>. He is JJ<\/u><\/strong>, he understands things… Lisa <\/u><\/strong>or Heather.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Cobra Kai wins in regulation.<\/p>\n

Filthier at Butchers<\/strong><\/p>\n

Burke<\/u><\/strong>! How Sellout Sean<\/u><\/strong> can you go?
\nCreamy <\/u><\/strong>row, what a Baby Mia<\/u><\/strong> knows
\nOnce again, back is the Malcolm<\/u><\/strong>
\nThe Kate<\/u><\/strong> animal
\nThe Filthier<\/u><\/strong>, Public Tim<\/u><\/strong> Number One
\nMike<\/u><\/strong> said, “Butchers!”<\/u><\/strong> and I got Arthur<\/u><\/strong>
\nCan I tell ’em that I never really had a Dana<\/u><\/strong>?
\nBut it’s the Mike<\/u> <\/strong>that the JJ<\/u><\/strong> spun<\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Butchers win by 1.<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters at Corlears Hookers<\/strong><\/p>\n

Poor Danilo<\/u><\/strong>. Without even realizing it he’d Sarah <\/strong><\/u> into one of those Let’s Be Carlin <\/u><\/strong> Vortexes, the bane of Mias<\/u><\/strong> everywhere. These Greg<\/u><\/strong> were Sam<\/u><\/strong> version of a Sky Fighter <\/u><\/strong>in the stocks, in you go, plenty of Dustin<\/u><\/strong> guaranteed and what you got out of it besides bitterness and James<\/u> <\/strong>nobody knows. Perhaps some Noelle<\/u> <\/strong>of Matt <\/u><\/strong>and Tiffany.<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Prediction<\/em>: Hookers win by 4.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fuzz v Biters\u00a0 Prediction: with 17 minutes left in regulation the game will end with Glanzer as a – 2. Fresh Kills at Gouging Anklebiters Listen up, Anklebiters. You are not Barch Pile. You are not a Phil or Sheena PBR. You’re the same Kentucky Wristwatch organic Phil as everything else. You\u2019re not your Coco. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18987"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18987"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18987\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19016,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18987\/revisions\/19016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}