{"id":190,"date":"2008-04-05T17:52:29","date_gmt":"2008-04-05T22:52:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/2008\/04\/05\/season-preview-cobra-kai\/"},"modified":"2008-04-07T10:04:41","modified_gmt":"2008-04-07T15:04:41","slug":"season-preview-cobra-kai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/season-preview-cobra-kai\/","title":{"rendered":"Season Preview: Cobra Kai"},"content":{"rendered":"

Volanto’s Heroes<\/h4>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Cobra<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/h4>\n

Color<\/strong>: Camoflauge
\nYear Founded<\/strong>: 2006
\n2007 Regular Season Finish<\/strong>: 5-12 (17th place)
\n2007 Playoff Result<\/strong>: Lost to Gouging Anklebiters in play-in game
\nKey Additions<\/strong>: Paul \u201cP.J.\u201d Lopez (Pork Fried Rice), Adriano Bratta (Free Agent)
\nKey Losses<\/strong>: Alex \u201cNo Gimmicks Needed\u201d Nicoloff (Ice Hockey), Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (?), Leah \u201cVick-ahs\u201d Vickers (Mexican Standoff), Mary Pratt (Mexican Standoff)
\nFan Base<\/strong>: The 1980s<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Peter Oblamski offered the following as his team’s preview:<\/p>\n

In what may very well be Captain Ski’s final season in a Cobra Kai uniform, the team has its eyes on the prize for 2008.\u00a0 The offseason started rather unkindly with the loss of a couple late registration deadline goal scorers.\u00a0 Since then, Cobra Kai has\u00a0made a couple new key signings on the offensive side of the ball, while making a major acquisition during the free agent period in\u00a0Paul “P.J.” Lopez at goaltender, formally of the now defunct Pork Fried Rice team.\u00a0 The defensive play should be as stellar as usual in front of a goaltender with vastly added size and experience between the pipes, when compared to former goalie, Stefanie Volanto.\u00a0 Also, the new rule change has brought about a much larger female contingent to the Cobra Kai dojo.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0
\n\u00a0
\nThe camouflage will be everywhere in 2008, as Cobra Kai attempts to use its newly found weapons\u00a0in an attempt to “blend in” to the top half of the BTSH standings.\u00a0 “SWEEP THE LEG” indeed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rapper They Closely Resemble<\/strong>: Gorillaz<\/em>.\u00a0 They\u2019re kind of cute, kind of cartoony, and once in a blue moon, they\u2019ll produce a legitimate hit.\u00a0 Of course, we all know that they have\u00a0a long way to go before they receive consideration as\u00a0truly genuine contenders.
\nFast Fact<\/strong>: Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison considers himself a sex symbol.<\/p>\n

ROSTER
\n<\/strong>Greg “Lysol” Altman
\nAra “6-1-9!” Arnn
\nAdriano Bratta
\nLaurie Chakel
\nRay “Domino” Chan
\nDave Cicirelli
\nMorgan “Secretary of Defense” Doninger
\nRem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito
\nChris Jewett
\nPaul “P.J.” Lopez (G)
\nErica Miller
\nBrian “The Flashlight” Morrison
\nMariko Nakatani
\nPeter Oblamski (C)
\nSusannah Pasquantonio
\nVicky Pasquantonio
\nBrian Quiban
\nEnayet “Retail” Rasul
\nBrooke Robinson
\nChristina “Mojito” Verigan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Volanto’s Heroes Color: Camoflauge Year Founded: 2006 2007 Regular Season Finish: 5-12 (17th place) 2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Gouging Anklebiters in play-in game Key Additions: Paul \u201cP.J.\u201d Lopez (Pork Fried Rice), Adriano Bratta (Free Agent) Key Losses: Alex \u201cNo Gimmicks Needed\u201d Nicoloff (Ice Hockey), Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (?), Leah \u201cVick-ahs\u201d Vickers (Mexican Standoff), Mary […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[10,22,18],"class_list":["post-190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2008-team-previews","tag-2008-season","tag-cobra-kai","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}