This Sunday we find ourselves at the culmination of another BTSH season. Don’t expect me to insert anything sappy, as we all know salty is my media personality\u2019s snack of choice (aside from a dairy intensive post-game chocolate milk). Here are the box scores and updated playoff leaders after the Round of 16 (when the playoffs really start) and the Quarterfinals (which was when I stopped caring) and then some Schlitz Cup action to boot (which my team was too good to qualify for? Ca C\u2019est Encroyable!).<\/p>\n
I look forward to (re)thinking up some new cheer signs for this year’s final four….Speaking of cheering on friends still in it; hopefully Roberts won’t get first line minutes anymore so he is more poach-able after the POUNDS<\/span> win in the finals and bring on not just W, but O, and QMJ- HL’ers for 2019…<\/p>\n …on to the box scores!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Round of Sixteen<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Mega 1 @ Filthier 2<\/strong><\/p>\n Mega \u2013 PizzaLightning Best Referee<\/em> Alex EM (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Mike T (1-1)<\/p>\n Filthier \u2013 The Mule x2 (2)<\/p>\n Game Notes: In the M-ilthier (there\u2019s no \u201cM\u201d in that word as my btsh fb group trolling prot\u00e9g\u00e9 of 2018 would say) matchup, Richard Picard was not to be found and neither was a chance of victory after Filthier came out with two quick goals in the second half to spoil Mega\u2019s 1 goal lead which stood through half time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n GANK 2 @ Gremlins 0<\/strong><\/p>\n GANK \u2013 Alex \u201cDerho\u201d, Jason \u201cBourne\u201d<\/p>\n Goalie Shutout Win \u2013 Craig LaC (1-0, 1 shutout)<\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Jamie B (0-1)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Walker asked the clock to be counted down audibly from 10 seconds to close the first half, which allowed Jason \u201cBourne\u201d– still recounting his steps of how he became assigned to play for the Gouging Anklebiters of BTSH after waking up dizzy in Ben Probert\u2019s West Village apartment one Sunday morning (okay I know you don\u2019t get it, it\u2019s a Bourne movie reference, but I\u2019m not finished yet) and how they made it through 5 of 18 regular season games with him on the roster and now on to the quarters against a dojo-<\/em> to score with \u201cTWOoooo\u201d seconds left on the clock\u2026. \u201csoooorry aboot that\u201d to Marcella and non-Walker Gremlin teammates who had to suffer through that painful, season ending ten second countdown.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Math 1 @ Fuzz 3<\/strong><\/p>\n Math \u2013 Rich \u201cFuzz Killer\u201d Glnzr not an arguable own goal**<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 David W-L (1-1)<\/p>\n Fuzz \u2013 Boy Ryan H (1), Miles (1), Alexa (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 A. Coach (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Where were all the NWHL\u2019ers that Sam promised the Mathletes at season\u2019s [Walker can you help identify the word which would be the opposite of \u201cend\u201d, which would fit here?<\/em>]?<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: The game sheet had Miles\u2019 name crossed out for Ryan\u2019s goal so I therefore deduced it was Boy Ryan (but tyvm fearless ref scheduler for clarifying in a separate email!) \u2026.You (anyone) can claim the Math goal at first come first serve\u2026sort of like how we schedule playoff games\u2026.wait so what the heck is home field advantage for higher seeds if they don\u2019t get first choice?<\/p>\n **Edits before going to print: NYC Caps Crew vet Justin P has been currently allotted the Math goal (and Sam doesn\u2019t exit the Round of 16 as the leading scorer in the playoffs, unable to add on from his deuce in the play in round).<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n WTP 1 @ FK 3<\/strong><\/p>\n DaPucks \u2013 Z. Defector (1) (oh god that only makes sense saying \u201czed\u201d the American way\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Scott H (0-1)<\/p>\n FK \u2013 Ariel (1), Tom R x2 (2)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Barch (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Like many games from his (award winning) rookie campaign, Hogg gets a late meaningful\/less goal to spoil a shutout bid, this time at the hands of Seashell Haramb(a)e teammate Barch \u2013 who hasn\u2019t even asked him to pay his share of the OC hotel room cost from #HockeyBeach2018 (free real estate memes, anyone?) \u2026FK remained strategic and opportunistic for the entirety of the contest with a short bench and made sure once they got the ice breaker, to never relinquish the lead.<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: WTP played valiantly in what ends up being Emily\u2019s final game as (co?)<\/span> captain- who has given this one-of-the-few-very-original-btsh-franchises-remaining-in-existence some life as the old guard left over half a decade ago now- but it wasn\u2019t to be as all 3 goals started off turnovers to Tom and most offensive rushes ended up being blocked by the likes of Roxy (who played the entire game) and Eugene and Pat (who shared some great relative fenwick to corsi differential over their half of the game each)\u2026.When looking over<\/span> questioning the playoff rosters, we only knew Tom qualified for the playoffs because he scored a goal in all 5 games he played (sometimes it hurts to track stats sequentially\u2026)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Demons 1 @ POUNDS 3<\/strong><\/p>\n Demons \u2013 Mike<\/span> Miles (2) (if they really had a Mike who scored as the game sheet says, why did he wait until the Round of 16 to score his first of the 2018 campaign, huh??)<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Zach W-L (1-1)<\/p>\n Pounds \u2013 Karsten (1), Ajay \u201cKopitar\u201d (1), Jake (1) (we\u2019ll just assume it\u2019s the guy from the dub)<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Zisser (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: I heard this one was (un)surprisingly crisps<\/em>y, I mean, chip<\/em>py.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Hookers 1 @ Rehabs 4<\/strong><\/p>\n Hookers \u2013 Josh (1) (interesting, another new player added to my scoring chart for the season, when did this bozo get \u201csworn\u201d in to the Hookers lineup??!!)<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Dustin (0-1)<\/p>\n Rehabs \u2013 Alex WM (1), Carlton Dance (1), Ramy Of the Blue Man group (1), Monique R (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Eric R (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Cro learns the hard way that true reckless hockey is one in which you give up more goals than the other team by playing only efence (where is the D?! there isn\u2019t one because there isn\u2019t any!) and the Hookers fail to return to the Quarterfinals\u2026.Rehabs looked impressive and will definitely beat Fuzz next round and get back to the final; I\u2019m sure of it with the short lineup Fuzz is expected to have.<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: Alex WM scored early with a shot heard around the world (not so much from the shot so much as the Hookers letting the Rehabs know that he was wide open at the point)\u2026.Carlton seemingly matched his goals scored in the regular season in one playoff game\u2026.maybe he matched the games played tally on this day too?!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n IK 1 @ PM 2 (F\/SO)<\/strong><\/p>\n Karma \u2013 Derek ZED (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Shootout Loss \u2013 Charlie O\u2019D via Rehab(s) Re-entry Draft<\/em><\/p>\n Poutine \u2013 Mikey M (1)<\/p>\n Shootout Winner \u2013 Hornswoggle CR7<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 RJ (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Karma looked to hold the balance of power\/play in this game but it was not to be as instant karnage was what became of a great bounce back top 12 campaign after another impressive shootout winner by BTSH vet JVR (I guess if you\u2019re around for a few years you get some practice at these things!)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dank Bows 1 @ CK 3<\/strong><\/p>\n Bows \u2013 Cat (Beef, not Dragon)<\/em> (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Greenwald (1-1)<\/p>\n CK \u2013 Siena \u201cFoligno\u201d (1), Liam (1), Will (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Campbell W (1-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Rainbows combined margin of defeat against CK in their two matinee affairs this year (3!) is what I presume to be roughly a third of the one game against each other in 2017- highlighting the sense of optimism for Tia\u2019s newly darkened (does everyone really want to wear black in 40 degree Celsius weather?), dark rainbows clan, going into 2019 (until Yetter and that dude in the black pinner gets poached).<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: Will scored the empty netter just to ensure he stay ahead of Liam by one goal (he does play defense, btw) in total on the year, season and playoffs combined.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Schlitz Cup<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n TSR 1 @ Gut Rot 0<\/strong><\/p>\n TSR \u2013 David F (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Shutout Win \u2013 Dave GdR (1-0, 1 shutout in the Schlitz)<\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Charlie O\u2019D via PBR Punchout<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Mega 0 @ Rainbows 1<\/strong><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Jeff H (0-1)<\/p>\n Rainbows \u2013 Dan C (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Greenwald (1-0; 1 shutout in the Schlitz)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Quarterfinals<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n This was some good hackey eh! On to more box scores…<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Rehabs 2 @ Fuzz 3 (F\/OT)<\/strong><\/p>\n Rehabs \u2013 Alex WM (2), Joey (1)<\/p>\n Goalie OTL \u2013 Eric R (1-0-1)<\/p>\n Fuzz \u2013 Gil (1), Jeff x2 (2)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 A. Coach (2-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: I didn\u2019t get to see Jeff\u2019s goal real time in OT, but I got to recreate it with him later that night in our first of two MENS LEAGUE games. I think this calls for a pause\u2026. Moving on! (For your own visual reenactment of the OT winner, I\u2019d like to redirect you to the offices of \u201cRobert\u201d GLNZR of Crime Stoppers Long Island)<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n GANK 0 @ CK 1 (F\/SO)<\/strong><\/p>\n Goalie Shutout Shootout Loss \u2013 Craig LaC (1-0-1; 2 shutouts)<\/p>\n Goalie Shutout Shootout Win \u2013 Campbell W-W (2-0; 1 shutout)<\/p>\n Shootout Winner \u2013 Topshelf Tommy with help from Liam<\/em> to seal the LoLShootoutWin<\/em><\/p>\n Game Notes: Campbell can be upbeat this week for his Black Squirrels friends who were in attendance- to see his best performance of the season- as CK finally shake off the cobwebs for a shootout win. Good thing no one is aware of the rule where if you throw your stick in a penalty shot situation, it\u2019s an awarded goal (yayaya Derho moved backwards anyways, we know GLNZR, we know).<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: Losing Just isn\u2019t a part of the CK playoff version of the btsh glossary heading into the final weekend as (wait is that a long lost week 18 box score reference? Good thing our media doesn\u2019t mind re-posting the same bits, especially when people didn\u2019t notice it the first time \u2013I guess it\u2019s a thing)<\/em>\u2026.Craig gets another shutout, and somehow finds himself and GANK out of the playoffs\u2026.guess the saying \u201cif you don\u2019t let in a goal we can\u2019t lose\u201d isn\u2019t entirely true L<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Poutine 1 @ POUNDS 2<\/strong><\/p>\n Poutine \u2013 Jonathan C (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 RJ (1-1)<\/p>\n POUNDS \u2013 Jake from the dub (2), Roberts (1)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Zisser (2-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: Roberts capitalizes on first line minutes and doesn\u2019t disappoint after returning from another work trip to NY for weekend hockey as he became the recipient of a wide open slightly less than a <\/em>four-by-six after a coolly delivered set up from an always competitive Karsten forecheck which gave the Pounds the differential they needed to not have Roberts post aboot LOLshootouts all week and finish the game in regulation time!!!<\/p>\n Quick Shifts: For the first time in a few tries, POUNDS get out of a Katz Southeast Divisional three team matchup without any write-ups. We\u2019ll call this one surprisingly clean!<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n FK 1 @ Filthier 3<\/strong><\/p>\n FK \u2013 Nicole (1) (what\u2019s this now, another brand new name for playoff scoring \u2013 who vets these rosters?)<\/em><\/p>\n Goalie Loss \u2013 Barch (1-1)<\/p>\n Filthier \u2013 James (1), The Mule x2 (4)<\/p>\n Goalie Win \u2013 Tim K (2-0)<\/p>\n Game Notes: The F teams which Hicks always gets confused with (make sure you have which team you\u2019re jumping ship to next year straightened oot!) traded early goals and the addition of Gabe for the quarterfinals wasn\u2019t enough to hold off Sean from picking up another playoff pair as Filthier show FK the door on the first of two back to back non PBR winning campaigns (assuming the usual once every three years is still the works)<\/p>\n