{"id":203,"date":"2008-04-09T06:44:36","date_gmt":"2008-04-09T11:44:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/2008\/04\/09\/season-preview-mexican-standoff\/"},"modified":"2008-04-10T14:51:32","modified_gmt":"2008-04-10T19:51:32","slug":"season-preview-mexican-standoff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/season-preview-mexican-standoff\/","title":{"rendered":"Season Preview: Mexican Standoff"},"content":{"rendered":"

Haanwa Chau Has a Vivid Imagination<\/h4>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Speedy<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

Color<\/strong>: Blue\/Black
\nYear Founded<\/strong>: 2002
\n2007 Regular Season Finish<\/strong>: 5-12-0-1 (15th place)
\n2007 Playoff Result<\/strong>: Lost to Sky Fighters in play-in game
\nKey Additions<\/strong>: Leah “Vick-ahs” Vickers (Cobra Kai), Mary Pratt (Cobra Kai)
\nKey Losses<\/strong>: Len Guinto, Kristen Scalia
\nFan Base<\/strong>: Mexico\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

According to Haanwa Chau, no less than\u00a0three attempts were made on Jefferson Hendricks’s life\u00a0during the off-season.\u00a0\u00a0 Marie Marberg (Squirrels)\u00a0and Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (Mathematics) were both implicated in two of the attempts and have thus stepped down from their captain positions.<\/p>\n

Because of these attacks on his life, Hendricks\u00a0has been in hiding for several months in a landbound sailboat parked in his mother’s front yard.\u00a0 While hiding, he and the rest of Mexican Standoff have been planning antics and hijinks galore.\u00a0 They will unveil elaborate maps, recipes, and outfits.<\/p>\n

In other news (this is what you call a B story, kids), Liza Watts (Filthy Gorgeous) and\u00a0Chau have born\u00a0their first lovechild named Molly HaanWatts.\u00a0 The child will be raised in Czechoslovakia until she is old enough to play street hockey in the US.<\/p>\n

Rapper They Closely Resemble<\/strong>: Entire Texas Crew Scene (Mike Jones, Chamillionaire, Lil\u2019Flip, Paul Wall, Slim Thug, etc.<\/em>).\u00a0 There seems to be an endless supply of players in this group, with new performers coming out of the woodwork every year (where did Ellery come from?!).\u00a0 However, no one ever seems to bring his game consistently enough for them to sustain any true dominance.
\nFast Fact<\/strong>: Tim “The Lantern” Olson looks kind of like Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison of Cobra Kai.\u00a0 Kind of.<\/p>\n

ROSTER<\/strong>
\nKarey Bakker
\nAndrew Bavan
\nBen Bloom
\nJohn Bonfanti
\nHaanwa Chau
\nTommy Cho
\nGary Cohen
\nSarah Conroy
\nEllery “The Nature Boy” Gillette
\nJason Greenberg
\nJefferson Hendricks (C)
\nAynsley Kirshenbaum
\nAmanda Jenkins
\nRandy Locklair (G)
\nTim “The Lantern” Olson
\nMary Pratt
\nErik Price
\nJason “The Hamburglar” Rosenstock
\nAdam Shaw
\nHanna Stark
\nLeah “Vick-ahs” Vickers
\nDave Wang<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Haanwa Chau Has a Vivid Imagination   Color: Blue\/Black Year Founded: 2002 2007 Regular Season Finish: 5-12-0-1 (15th place) 2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Sky Fighters in play-in game Key Additions: Leah “Vick-ahs” Vickers (Cobra Kai), Mary Pratt (Cobra Kai) Key Losses: Len Guinto, Kristen Scalia Fan Base: Mexico\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[10,24,18],"class_list":["post-203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2008-team-previews","tag-2008-season","tag-mexican-standoff","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=203"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/203\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=203"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=203"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=203"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}