{"id":20917,"date":"2019-03-25T08:23:45","date_gmt":"2019-03-25T12:23:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=20917"},"modified":"2019-03-25T08:23:46","modified_gmt":"2019-03-25T12:23:46","slug":"soko-division-preview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/soko-division-preview\/","title":{"rendered":"Soko Division Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Jess and Hornswoggle<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the season just around the corner it\u2019s time to start talking shit<\/del> writing hard hitting journalism about all of the teams (ah what are we kidding, let\u2019s shitpost all of them anyway amirite?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuzz<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuzz won the championship last year and suffice to say it was the best year of Glanzer\u2019s life (he might say 2010 but it\u2019s a toss-up really).  This is a team focused on strategy, quick shifts, cut-off sleeves and WINNING. They did not come here to make friends. Although some of them are really fun to chill with after<\/em> the game. Basically, Fuzz is an evil disney villain: you like them, but you don\u2019t want to see them win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2018 PRB Cup Champs!<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Why you should root for them:<\/strong> If you like boring storylines, predictability, and hate fun then you should absolutely root for Fuzz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root against them:<\/strong> That\u2019s easy. Those close to Amy from the Riots will take umbrage from the article recently written of her HOF induction. The writer: yes, a member of Fuzz. Don\u2019t @ me, RG. And perhaps that\u2019s the tip of the iceberg because, like the reason \u201cwhy you should root for them\u201d, you\u2019ll be lulled to sleep for their watchability, or lack thereof. Honestly, the only person on this squad who can save them is Coach, whom we suspect has hung up his jersey after a decade-and-a-half of service. Goalies have unique personalities; if you take away Coach, the rest of the league will roll its eyes bored af about Fuzz\u2019s gameplay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LBS, Inc.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

LBS has always been a consistent force to be reckoned with in the league and won a championship in the early 2000\u2019s. While they can\u2019t seem to snag sweet victory as of late, they\u2019re always top contenders and go far in the playoffs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Why you should root for them:<\/strong> They\u2019re a fun team to watch, and can often keep calm and win in come-from-behind situations. This is due in part to their strong foundation of players, Zisser being a pretty good goalie and Frey\u2019s love of board games allotting for him to be a master strategist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root against them:<\/strong> Their cocky attitudes leave little to be desired and watching some lower level teams take them down a peg or two would be nice. Also, their sole frequenting of Doc Holidays is worse than Poutine\u2019s penchant for The 13th Step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fresh Kills<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The team that started the sleeveless jersey campaign, circa early Corlears era.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Why you should root for them:<\/strong> Ariel has silky-smooth mitts, Gabe is a less-selfish Martin C. (yes, the Sky Fighters\u2019 Martin C.), and the reputable (or infamous, depending on your perspective) Barch Pile. Another cardinal reason is consistency: perhaps what Cobra Kai tried–but didn\u2019t succeed–last season wasn\u2019t compared to FK\u2019s success the season before that one, though I\u2019m sure the feeling was just as great. Despite FK\u2019s rocky 2018 start, they bounced right back. If you\u2019re into safe bets and you know the people involved, don\u2019t turn away from FK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root against them:<\/strong> Not for nothing, but perhaps FK aligns with the Steelers: championships early on, and one (maybe two) in the last decade. We\u2019ll let Sultan RG confirm. The faster, younger lads are aligning with squads that best match personality traits and drinking abilities, as well as the common courtesies of paying bar bills. FK seems to be a team that is more about opening and closing shop in more recent seasons, and you may not see its members fraternize with players from other teams. Change my mind, fellas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rehabs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Aka Sir-Hicks-a-Lot\u2019s third team to tour (roster) for all 20 teams in 30 seasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root for them: <\/strong>They\u2019ve got a lot of amazing female players and it\u2019s refreshing to see a team lean so heavily on female leadership on the courts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root against them: <\/strong>This year may just be the one where we won\u2019t witness an actual $#0\\\/\\\/t!m!ng. Hector\u2019s sporadic appearances as a goalie or a field player last season mixed up opponents\u2019 mindsets. The Habs and their roster do express sometimes their physicality, and you might be catching the skipper Bryan talking to refs about \u201cinjustices\u201d that, at face value, may seem fairly innocuous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filthier<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only team to not send a captain to the captain\u2019s meeting last week (\u201cvery on brand\u201d said one Ankle Biter\u2019s captain), Filthier is a rough and tough team with an air of ~mystery~. We can squelch the ~mystery~ if you guys want just, like, invite me over for a beer (I have brown hair and wear a neon pink jersey holla @ me).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Ann, James and Sunny are one of top lines in league. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root for them: <\/strong>During the season? They might be the most likable of all the squads in this division alone; they can balance grit and skill, and are likely purveyors of the league\u2019s Rule Number One.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why you should root against them: <\/strong>Generally, the league sees Soko Division teams as too elite to even consider them as \u201cdeserving\u201d (subjective, and for lack of a better word). I\u2019m willing to wager players from the remaining three divisions are privy on seeing a hard-working squad (e.g. CK, Poutine) grind its way through the season and the playoffs to achieve greatness. But why not Filthier? They won a ship within the last four seasons. Give some other team a turn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Jess and Hornswoggle With the season just around the corner it\u2019s time to start talking shit writing hard hitting journalism about all of the teams (ah what are we kidding, let\u2019s shitpost all of them anyway amirite?). Fuzz Fuzz won the championship last year and suffice to say it was the best year of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20917"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20917"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20917\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20924,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20917\/revisions\/20924"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20917"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20917"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20917"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}