{"id":21740,"date":"2019-05-03T09:19:03","date_gmt":"2019-05-03T13:19:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=21740"},"modified":"2019-05-03T12:08:25","modified_gmt":"2019-05-03T16:08:25","slug":"week-5-previews-part-2-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-5-previews-part-2-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 5 Previews – Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Instant Karma at Sky Fighters<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By The Meatbox<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gather round BTSH loyal subjects for I am about to tell you\na story. The story is about my dear friend Robert. Robert is very similar to a\nlot of you. He cares deeply about his community (he\u2019s a crime stopper after\nall), he has a thing for moms, and he loves the game of hockey. The one thing\nRobert has that you don\u2019t is a Ronkonkoma Condo. But if you pay close attention\nto this tale, you too may find a way to own one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, Robert didn\u2019t just wake up one day and say \u201ctoday I\nwill buy a condominium in the legendary neighborhood of Ronkonkoma\u201d; nobody\njust wakes up and purchases one of those illustrious pieces of land. Years of\nblood, sweat, and tears went into this. Robert trained for hours to rise up the\ncrime stopper ranks to make this happen. He became an expert at answering the\nphone on the first ring, he became a legend in his local cross fit gym- soccer\nmoms were always on the brink of destruction, he perfected counting to\nfooooooouuurrr, and then he poached a shit ton of BTSH players, rebranded his\nteam to make one of them happy and went on to win a BTSH title and later buy a\ncondo. The end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now looking at this matchup Karma seems like a team that could\nbe on the cusp of Robertdom. They\u2019ve put in their blood, sweat, and tears.\nThey\u2019ve trained for moments like this, putting in hours on the blacktop and at\nthe bar. They\u2019re really, really, ridiculously good looking which generally\nmeans things come easier for them in life. They\u2019re just a poach or two and a\nrebrand away from something special\u2026 dare I say, bangin\u2019, no, dare I say uber\nbangin\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other side of the court we see what happens when you don\u2019t protect your assets. Assholes like Poutine befriend them, threaten to rip your throat out, and steal all your brand new players. Dear readers, let this be a lesson to all of us: the devil comes like a thief in the night. And the Devil\u2019s name is Brian Sullivan. However, the Sky Fighters still have Stein, Mia, Caroline and Infanti, members of the legendary Sky Fighters team that upset Robert in his first bid at BTSH glory and Ronkonkoma home ownership. Can these four rally the troops to collect the Sky Fighters first winning streak of the young season? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Slightly offended by the looks mention. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Prediction<\/em>: Friedman brings his A-game and the post shootout jump into Derek\u2019s arms is completely unneeded as this game doesn\u2019t go to a shootout. The Sky Fighters keep it interesting, but in the end Chadwick\u2019s height, the Tremble sisters\u2019 charisma and Isaac\u2019s Hemsworth-esque looks are too much for them to overcome. Karma wins this one 4-1, pushing their win streak to 3 games and letting the league know that they\u2019re not just here to be really, really ridiculously good looking. Buckle up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Butchers at Cobra Kai<\/strong>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Written by Emory and Oglethorpe<\/em>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Butchers are riding high after upsetting the Rehabs last week. Cobra Kai also \u2018upset\u2019 Fuzz.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We expect these two friendly divisional rivals to be hungry to keep the streak going this Sunday.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rose Charities\u2019 Queen Greene has been decompressing all week after months of stress organizing the tournament (thanks Rachel!), and she is now ready to get back out on the Tompkins pavement. Tim Burke is\u2026\u2026.wait, where has Tim Burke been? If he doesn\u2019t show up Sunday I am definitely alerting the authorities. If Tim does show up and the defensive core of Cheeky, Brady, Creamy and MDF show up, this could be stifling for Cobra Kai\u2019s offense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Free at last\u2026 (until next year\u2019s tourney).
<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Having said that, Kai\u2019s offense is one of the most potent in the league. Pete, Liam, Dani, Will, Tom, Siena are all dangerous with the puck, and are always a scoring threat. Their D has always been lockdown, and we all know Campbell\u2019s skill level. Wait, did Campbell move yet? This could be a game changer. Also, I feel like I always hear that people in this league are moving away, but then I keep still seeing them\u2026…and seeing them\u2026.and seeing them. BTSH is like a reverse Bermuda Triangle.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I guess we all just can\u2019t stay away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: In this battle of many Rachels, Cobra Kai prevails, 3 (Rachels) to 1 (Rachel).<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Corlears Hookers at Gouging Anklebiters<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Richiehero<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Hookers\/Anklebiters is my favorite game of the year bc it’s the best personal rivalry in BTSH, Probie vs. Cro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Anklebiters are self proclaimed God’s Team, sorta like the Demons are self-proclaimed League Sweethearts. Unfortunately for the Amy and her crew, they might be God’s team, but the last time they met in the playoffs God put an ol’ fashioned Smiting on the Anklebiters by not only letting the Hookers come back from 3-1 down, but having the evil Cro score the OT winner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that the history lesson is over, let’s look at the game. The Biters have the top end talent with Probie, Derho and that guy Jason that Jeff keeps telling me is just as good as Probie. Buuuuut they also have several players who are not even young enough to be Gil’s son, or Gil’s Son’s brother so if the superstars aren’t on the court, they are really slow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, the Hookers got the Women’s Division on lock. All 5 Hookers ladies would be the best girl on most teams, though lose the jacket while playing Tiffany, it’s May for Christ sakes. Also, shoutout to Caroline and Moore on the Anklebiters…bc if this was broomball I’d switch my vote to the Biters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For goalies, it’s Craig by a mile…regular season only of course. Once October hits I’m taking Dustin over almost everyone. I mean Craig in a 0-0 shootout in the playoffs is the worst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Pick<\/em>: God is good….this time for the Biters. Schuey scores no goals in their 3-2 victory. But fear not CroMerica…this is just a battle in a very long war.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gut Rot at Mega Touch<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Tracy<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am honestly not sure whether playing a mid-afternoon game on Cinco de Mayo spells absolute doom for Gut Rot, or whether we\u2019re all in for a thrilling reprise of The Day the Earth Stood Drunk<\/a>. (Sidebar, whatever happened to parts 2-9 of that saga which were teased but never delivered? Get on that, Rogue Media.) No doubt Julie\u2019s face is lighting up with glee at the prospect. Unfortunately for Mega, the still-drunk-opponent strategy didn\u2019t work out too well last week against Poutine\u2014but second time\u2019s a charm, and I see the orange ball bouncing their way this week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction<\/em>: Mega 3, Gut Rot 1 + 100 margaritas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tompkins Square Riots at Denim Demons<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Glen Coco<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two red teams known for being tough where it counts. This is going to be a physical game, folks. While the demons are clearly at the top of the 4th division and the riots are somewhere towards the bottom, the demons can\u2019t underestimate the riots (hello 2018 cobra kai shootout game). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Dave GDR!!!.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Barring the riots\u2019 random X factor, if the demons have everyone show (minus their captain who is on an exotic European vacation) it should be an easy W. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction<\/em>: demons 7, riots 2 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mathematics\n(2-1-0*) at Filthier (1-2-0*)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tompkins West, 14:00 (2:00pm)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*W4 box scores haven\u2019t been posted yet as of 5\/2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Hornswoggle<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Introduction<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite some of the Norri leaving the franchise\nfor entrepreneurships\/ventures, the squad that names itself after orders of\noperations has nonetheless kept its composure level high, winning their last\ntwo (including one over a top division opponent). Conversely, the 2015 PBR Cup\nwinners have had early roadblocks in their schedule, losing twice to their\ndivisional rivals in as many games. Even in a game with seemingly little to no\nlong-term implications, gaining two points in the campaign is of utmost importance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The visitors<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elder skatesman Justin opened the team\u2019s account\nin W1, scoring the only goal for that game, unfortunately. However, such a goal\nopened the floodgates all of a sudden for the younger folks, with Jon (3) and\nJack (2) beginning to make routine contributions to the scorecard.\nAdditionally, Dave L. has remained stalwart in net with a GAA of just over 2,\nbut the back line will have to be even more attentive in this upcoming matchup.\nThe triumvirate of Sunny, James, and Jaime will likely remain relentless, and\nthe trouble they\u2019ll cause will prevent any Math personnel from getting any\ntraction offensively. They\u2019ll have to hope Derek can skip parenting for a\nweekend and provide some extra muscle (I\u2019m guessing he can lift more than\nMeatbox and Sultan combined now he doesn\u2019t have to wait to use\nequipment–unlike with most gyms in the metropolitan area).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hosts<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So apparently our ladies and gents in black\/pink\n(no, not one of the 5,000 K-Pop female groups<\/a>\nwith booming popularity here stateside) don\u2019t have to play Poutine anymore,\nwhich is probably good for their cholesterol–especially for Tim\u2019s, whose\nbeloved Roma will miss another opportunity to enter the Champions\u2019 League if\nAtalanta keeps its form. I think that while this current squad will routinely\nrun the opposition ragged as they\u2019ve done years before, it won\u2019t do so with as\nmuch intensity. Their two divisional matchups in W1 & W3 may already\nindicate the strength in the Soko Division, so Filthier will have to get points\nelsewhere if it wants to remain in top flight. \u201cAnnimal\u201d and her female\nteammates will be critical to earn the two points; they\u2019re not on the\nscoresheet as much, but they are as tenacious as the men on the court. If level\nof tenacity for entire regulation = 100, the players will have no problem\nsnatching victory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not a walk in the park for Filthier, but they\u2019ll get it done. No nonsense, injuries, or extracurriculars. This won\u2019t be \u201cgame of the week\u201d by any stretch of imagination, but both teams will be playing it as such knowing the weather will be extremely beautiful<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Instant Karma at Sky Fighters By The Meatbox Gather round BTSH loyal subjects for I am about to tell you a story. The story is about my dear friend Robert. Robert is very similar to a lot of you. He cares deeply about his community (he\u2019s a crime stopper after all), he has a thing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21740"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21740"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21740\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21751,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21740\/revisions\/21751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21740"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21740"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21740"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}