{"id":2251,"date":"2010-04-05T20:50:32","date_gmt":"2010-04-06T01:50:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=2251"},"modified":"2010-04-05T20:51:42","modified_gmt":"2010-04-06T01:51:42","slug":"season-preview-sky-fighters-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/season-preview-sky-fighters-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Season Preview: Sky Fighters"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Big Sexy Tour 2010 Begins…<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Color:<\/strong> Sky Blue
\nYear Founded:<\/strong> 2007 (current version), 2002 (original version)
\n2009 Regular Season Finish:<\/strong> 14-7 (7th place)
\n2009 Playoff Result:<\/strong> Defeated What The Puck in championship game
\nConference:<\/strong> Weyersberg
\nDivision:<\/strong> Hackett
\nHome Arena: <\/strong>Lott Gymnasium
\n2009 Leading Scorer: <\/strong>Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, 20 goals
\nKey Additions:<\/strong> Stephanie Tybinka (Free Agency)
\nKey Losses:<\/strong> Alice Bertoni (Fresh Kills)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper noted the following on how his team plans to defend its title in 2010:<\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s watch this six times:<\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

Now let\u2019s watch this, which has nothing to do with the Sky Fighters\u2019 season or any other season, but is just independently awesome:<\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

The 2009 Sky Fighters season marked the culmination of an elaborate three-year plan:<\/p>\n

2007: Go 1-16
\n2008: Add like 10 really good people who show up
\n2009: Win the BTSH Championship before anyone knows what\u2019s going on<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the plan only covered three seasons, so the Sky Fighters are just going to have to wing it with their title defense. On the plus side, the team\u2019s entire male contingent is returning, though Chris \u201cBig Sexy\u201d Shumaker will only be sporadically available for the season\u2019s first half, as he\u2019s training for Buddhist Space Olympics (seriously, if this were a joke, it would be less exaggerated-sounding). Some new ladies have been added to balance out the roster\u2019s freshman dorm-like guy\/girl ratio, and the team still resides in the league\u2019s second-tiered division, partially based on\u00a0its 2009 regular season record, but mostly because the North American hockey press continues to underestimate Europeans.<\/p>\n

Most importantly, the Sky Fighters finally possess the depth to overcome opponents\u2019 weekly “Sweep The Leg On Martin” defensive strategy, though now that several other Sky Fighters are actually known by the rest of the league, they may struggle to get underestimated, a key component to the team\u2019s 2009 run. Nevertheless, as captain, I am extremely confident that in 2010, we can replace these players with new also-good players that nobody knows in the hopes of sneaking up on everybody once again.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Professional Wrestler They Closely Resemble:<\/strong> Christian<\/a><\/em>.\u00a0 They’ve had an extremely successful return after an extended\u00a0absence from the league (including a title run), but their status as US citizens is questionable.
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> Robert Kucera is really just from Indiana.<\/p>\n

ROSTER<\/strong>
\nLourdes Banez
\nDanielle Block
\nMark Bloom
\nLynn Caruso
\nMartin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka
\nDavid Cernan
\nGreg “Mr. August” Cohan
\nStefan Danicich
\nTrace Della Torre
\nLindsey Dinsmore
\nSandy Glover
\nDan Hopper (C)
\nJulia Hynes
\nGreg Infanti
\nRobert Kucera
\nSarah Larson
\nSam Lassner
\nSamantha Lee
\nAmy Lott (A)
\nChristian Mack
\nRich McConnell
\nMarc McDonald
\nChris “Big Sexy” Shumaker
\nJames Stein
\nStephanie Tybinka<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Big Sexy Tour 2010 Begins… Color: Sky Blue Year Founded: 2007 (current version), 2002 (original version) 2009 Regular Season Finish: 14-7 (7th place) 2009 Playoff Result: Defeated What The Puck in championship game Conference: Weyersberg Division: Hackett Home Arena: Lott Gymnasium 2009 Leading Scorer: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, 20 goals Key Additions: Stephanie Tybinka […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[136],"tags":[132,14,18],"class_list":["post-2251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2010-team-previews","tag-2010-season","tag-sky-fighters","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2251"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2578,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2251\/revisions\/2578"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}