{"id":22530,"date":"2019-06-28T11:43:13","date_gmt":"2019-06-28T15:43:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=22530"},"modified":"2019-06-28T11:43:14","modified_gmt":"2019-06-28T15:43:14","slug":"exclusive-preview-hookers-at-biters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/exclusive-preview-hookers-at-biters\/","title":{"rendered":"Exclusive Preview: Hookers at Biters"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By The Meatbox and Richiepoothang<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:  <\/strong>In honor of debate season kicking off, it only seems appropriate to revisit one of the pivotal movements of our time. A movement that is undoubtedly the cornerstone upon which the 2020 election shall be built. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was Spring a few years ago. I\u2019d try to get the actual date, but people aren\u2019t answering my texts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer: <\/strong>People are jerks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks<\/strong>: Some more that others for sure. You know who nobody thinks is a jerk? Probie. I think it\u2019s because he scores a lot of goals. So much so that in spring a few years ago it caught the eye of a new guy in town who had just moved to the big city from Boise, Idaho. I\u2019ll give you one guess who this is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> Is Idaho another word for Iowa? Because I\u2019m going to guess Sarah T. if\nit is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:<\/strong> Well, you got the first letter right. But no, Idaho is its own state. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> You sure seem to know a lot about stuff you normally don\u2019t know a lot\nabout. Is this Walker?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks<\/strong>: \u201cHa.\u201d Apparently they don\u2019t even have ball hockey there which I guess\nexplains some things. But in this story, our protagonist is none other than Lee\nBecker. Young Lee was looking for some ball hockey to play. One day he stumbled\nupon Tompkins Square Park and he witnessed Ben Probert doing Probert things (ie\nscoring multiple goals to the point his own team boos him).<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> Did Lee go up to Probie and ask for his autograph?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:<\/strong> He asked to be a part of Probie\u2019s team. He didn\u2019t care if he was a benchwarmer or a glue guy, he just wanted to be included. And Probie completely shot him down because whether people believe it or not, #ProbieCares when it comes to adult rec league sports and he wants to win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Less wasn’t even invited. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> Are you sure you\u2019re not talking about Ariel? Anyways, where did Lee\nend up going? Probably Gut Rot, or the Rainbows when Abby was running them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:<\/strong> All Lee wanted was to be included. In a competitive league like BTSH\nthat is completely dominated by new school players, it seemed unfair to exclude\nLee. And just like that a movement was born\u2026 the #leetoo movement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From within the walls of a wine store across\nthe street, an American heard the cries of injustice. And out of the shadows, a\ntad belligerent, a hero emerged. One who supports Open Borders and allowing\nanyone onto their team. No it wasn\u2019t George Soros, it was Cro. Cro saw the\ninjustice that Probie had served to sweet, innocent Lee and without even asking\nif Lee owned a hockey stick, gave him a spot on the Hookers (I want to\nreiterate this has nothing to do with Cro\u2019s level of sobriety at the time and\nwas completely done because Cro felt it the socially just thing to do). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> Wow…Cro is a hero. And I rarely if ever use that word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Craig’s son is quite the artist. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:<\/strong> Yeah, it\u2019s truly quite the touching story. Anyways I guess we have to\npredict a game or something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Glanzer:<\/strong> Well I\u2019m going to be in Calgary coaching my friend Brianna for her\nwrestling tournament. She\u2019s trying to make the Olympics. And then I\u2019m going to\nVegas to play in the Mini Main Event in the World Series of Poker. First prize\nin the World Series of Poker is a million bucks. Does it have my name on it? I\ndon\u2019t know, but I\u2019m gonna find out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, Hookers 2, Biters 1. This Probie sounds\nlike a jerk. He probably dates girls for one thing and one thing only. Their\nhockey talent. I loathe jerks like him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks:<\/strong> I too think that Cro\u2019s good SJW ways get him some good karma in the\nLee\/Probie grudge match. Hookers 4, Biters 2. A win for America.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hicks &\nGlanzer:<\/strong> USA!! USA!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-30-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By The Meatbox and Richiepoothang Hicks:  In honor of debate season kicking off, it only seems appropriate to revisit one of the pivotal movements of our time. A movement that is undoubtedly the cornerstone upon which the 2020 election shall be built. It was Spring a few years ago. I\u2019d try to get the actual […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22530"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6355"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22530"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22550,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22530\/revisions\/22550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}