![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/biters2010.jpg\" "\\"Anklebiters\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nColor:<\/strong> Dark Blue <\/p>\n Gouging Anklebiters captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue imagined the following “10 Questions” conversation between the media and Anklebiters alternate captains Amy Kovner<\/a> and “Quiet” Mike O’Connor<\/a>:<\/em><\/p>\n Derek & Eli:<\/strong> Amy, Quiet, welcome.\u00a0Are you ready to get started?
\nYear Founded:<\/strong> 2001
\n2009 Regular Season Finish:<\/strong> 8-11-2 (12th place)
\n2009 Playoff Result:<\/strong> Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in first round
\nConference:<\/strong> Schumacher
\nDivision:<\/strong> Donohue
\nHome Arena:<\/strong> The Shoe
\n2009 Leading Scorers: <\/strong>Charles DeFranco & Alex Derhohannesian, 12 goals
\nKey Additions:<\/strong> None
\nKey Losses:<\/strong> Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Retirement)<\/p>\n
\nQuiet:<\/strong> Yes.
\nAmy:<\/strong> Sure, that counts as the first question though.\u00a0Nine more and we’re out of here.
\nD&E:<\/strong> That’s clearly not a real question.
\nAmy:<\/strong> Sure it is.
\nD&E:<\/strong> <\/em>You have to be sh*ttin’ me.\u00a0What kind of crap is this?
\nAmy:<\/strong> Just playing by the rules.\u00a0 Eight to go.
\nD&E:<\/strong> Whatever.\u00a0 FIRST question, Quiet & Amy, how do you feel about the Anklebiters going into the new season?\u00a0 What is the vibe around the squad?
\nQuiet:<\/strong> We’re confident that we can really improve on last year’s record.\u00a0 Amy, Annika, and I have been playing on Dependable Scrap in the Moffo winter league, and we had 13 Anklebiters playing broomball this winter — we’re in good shape and should be ready to go.
\nAmy:<\/strong> We feel good and look good.\u00a0 In fact, I caught Eli looking at my boobs a second ago.\u00a0 By the way, that was two questions — six more.
\nEli:<\/strong> What? No, I wasn’t!\u00a0 I was just trying to read your t-shirt.\u00a0 Ummm…
\nAmy:<\/strong> Five more…
\nDerek:<\/strong> <\/em>(To Eli) Your face is red, dude.\u00a0 And how long does it take to read “Wonder Woman”?
\nAmy:<\/strong> I won’t count that one, it was for Eli.\u00a0 Well, Eli?
\nEli:<\/strong> Yeah, ummm (cough), moving on.\u00a0 Pundits have often accused the Anklebiters of being a “drink first, play hockey later” type of squad.\u00a0 Is that how you see yourselves as well?
\nQuiet:<\/strong> Yes.
\nAmy:<\/strong> Of course, but we can do both.\u00a0 And stop staring at my boobs.\u00a0 Four to go.
\nEli:<\/strong> <\/em>I wasn’t.\u00a0 I…
\nDerek:<\/strong> Yes you were, bro.\u00a0 I’ll take it from here.\u00a0 (pauses to read over notes) Okay, next question…Your team’s founder and first captain, Schuie [Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher], just retired from BTSH.\u00a0 How will that affect the team going into the new season?
\nQuiet:<\/strong> He’ll be missed.\u00a0 He was a leader and a presence on this team for years, and always seemed to step up in big games.
\nAmy:<\/strong> Christ, thank God he’s gone!\u00a0 He used to stare at my chest all the time, too.\u00a0 (laughs) Just kidding — he’s very sweet and I’m excited for him and Dana [Kravis — engaged during the off-season].\u00a0 Eli’s the only pervert around here.\u00a0 Three more.
\nEli:<\/strong> Enough!\u00a0 My mom reads this website.\u00a0 How do you think this will make her feel?
\nAmy:<\/strong> Probably like she raised a pervert.\u00a0 Two more.
\nDerek:<\/strong> Hey, I lived with the guy.\u00a0 What do you think shows up when you scroll through the history of his web browser?
\nAmy:<\/strong> I bet you won’t find it on the Disney Channel.\u00a0 One more.
\nDerek:<\/strong> I’m just relieved to find out he’s still interested in humans.\u00a0 Last question…what are your predictions for the 2010 season?
\nQuiet:<\/strong> A lot of Sundays where we sweat out Saturday night…and a lot of Monday mornings that are gonna hurt like hell.
\nAmy:<\/strong> Eli gets fired from his media job for sexual harassment.\u00a0 And the Anklebiters kick your ass!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n