![\"NJ](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/04\/newjersey.jpg\")
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<\/a> <\/p>\n <\/a><\/a><\/a><\/p>\n <\/a> Whatever You Say, Monica<\/strong> Huh?\u00a0 A Legitimate Note?<\/strong> Who Are These Masked Men?<\/strong> Spurred on by the Boston Bruins’ thrilling Game Six victory, Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri recorded the win in his What the Puck debut.\u00a0 Father Time seemed to enjoy donning the mask, as it hides his white beard.<\/p>\n With regular goalie, “Quiet” Mike O’Connor absent, the Gouging Anklebiters were forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel by using Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg in the net.\u00a0 Although giving up four goals to the Mighty Squirrels is by no measures a bad game, giving up any goals to Tim “(S)crappy” Gray most assuredly is.<\/p>\n Steve Chernoski registered the shutout for the Denim Demons in his first goaltending appearance in a BTSH game.\u00a0 Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens is proud of him.<\/p>\n The Tuques played with no official<\/em> goalie against the Unicorns.\u00a0 Despite this disadvantage, they still managed to hold the Unicorns scoreless in the first half and take the game to overtime.<\/p>\n Brent’s Back!<\/strong> Another Gratuitous Quote<\/strong> Captains’ Commendations<\/strong><\/p>\n Bad Touch<\/strong>: Michael Tuckman<\/em> kept the game close with stellar goaltending. Trenton Makes, Rachel Takes New Jersey’s Exports: Precious Metals, Industrial Machinery, and Tommy Mayoros After struggling with the goaltending tandem of Rob Gorden and Tim “(S)crappy” Gray last season, the Mighty Squirrels seem to be a different team this year.\u00a0 With new goalie Tommy Mayoros in the net, they’ve been walking with a new found […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[47,10,50,42],"class_list":["post-235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-howtm3","tag-2008-season","tag-more-squirrels-than-necessary","tag-news-and-notes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nNew Jersey’s Exports: Precious Metals, Industrial Machinery, and Tommy Mayoros<\/strong>
\nAfter struggling with the goaltending tandem of Rob Gorden and Tim “(S)crappy” Gray last season, the Mighty Squirrels seem to be a different team this year.\u00a0 With new goalie Tommy Mayoros in the net, they’ve been walking with a new found swagger…some might even say an air of confidence.\u00a0 They are now 1-0-1 after facing two tough teams.\u00a0 Captain Rachel Greene was sure to note, “People often ask us where we got our awesome goalie from, and the answer is simple.\u00a0 We got him from New Jersey.”\u00a0 New Jersey was offered Scrappy in exchange, but it politely declined.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
\nA Quarter Century of $howT!m3<\/strong>
\nTo celebrate his 25th birthday, Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez partied into the wee hours of the night\u00a0at the Johnson’s.\u00a0\u00a0As is customary with all BTSH functions, things began to deteriorate as the evening wore on.\u00a0 $howT!m3 was eventually caught on (a phone) camera\u00a0modeling the Sky Fighters’ new skirt.\u00a0 Apparently, there were three other people in the bathroom at the time of the above photo.\u00a0 Good times were had by all.<\/p>\n
\n“More people would like to have sex with Filthy Gorgeous, than with the Corlears Hookers.” — Monica Russo.\u00a0 Obviously, Monica’s never seen Dutch walk through Times Square.<\/p>\n
\n“Con” Ed Lau’s\u00a0third annual\u00a0tournament to benefit the American Cancer Society raised more than $3,200.\u00a0 Thank you to all who participated or made a donation.<\/p>\n
\nFor a variety of reasons, Sunday saw an inordinate number of starting goalies out of action.\u00a0 As a result, several teams were forced to pursue backup options:<\/p>\n
\nThose who made it to the Johnson’s after Sunday’s games were greeted by a familar face.\u00a0 Everyone’s favorite slutty bartender, Brent Smith, manned the bar like it was 2007.\u00a0 Although it’s arguable how much he was actually working, he plans to serve drinks and mingle\u00a0every other week.\u00a0 He also plans to “accidentally” spray water on your<\/em> shirt.<\/p>\n
\n“Sky Fighters played a very good game.\u00a0 Martin [Cejka] got lucky, but that won’t ever happen again.” — Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez, on the Rehabs’ overtime loss to the Sky Fighters<\/p>\n
\nCobra Kai<\/strong>: Paul “PJ” Lopez<\/em> was amazing between the pipes.
\nCorlears Hookers<\/strong>: Amy Goegan<\/em> played solid\u00a0defense and stymied the Filthy Gorgeous offense.
\nDark Rainbows<\/strong>: Goalie Trever “White Jesus” Tyrrell<\/em> is the Chosen One.
\nDenim Demons<\/strong>: Danny Polinsky<\/em> came directly from the airport to help the Demons win.
\nFilthy Gorgeous<\/strong>: Jean Hebert<\/em> was spectacular on defense.
\nFresh Kills<\/strong>:\u00a0Since she does not know any of her teammates’ names, Amy Jones commended “teamwork<\/em>“. Next time, we’ll just ask Tiny instead.
\nGouging Anklebiters<\/strong>: Matt Tsiang<\/em> “ran around like a chicken with its [expletive deleted] head cut off”, according to acting captain Jeremy Schumacher.
\nHappy Little Elves<\/strong>: Charlotte Villamil<\/em>…good work, Charlotte!
\nLBS<\/strong>: Tommy Capatosta<\/em> arrived promptly at 4:00 for his 3:00 game.
\nMathematics<\/strong>: Gungsadawn “Gunner” Katatikarn<\/em> has a really long name…and played well on D.
\nMighty Squirrels<\/strong>: Goalie Tommy Mayoros<\/em> earned his first BTSH win.
\nRehabs<\/strong>: Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez<\/em>, because it was his birthday.
\nSky Fighters<\/strong>: “Samantha [Lee]<\/em> looked really hot!” – Amy Lott
\nTuques<\/strong>: Rui Domingues<\/em> acted as the team’s goalie, despite having no padding.
\nUnicorns<\/strong>: Allison<\/em> created a lot of opportunities on offense.
\nWhat the Puck<\/strong>: All the Mad Dog could offer was\u00a0“Jen Hale ‘Storm’<\/em>\u00a0was swarming.”\u00a0 Thanks, Larry, and that nickname is not sticking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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