{"id":23775,"date":"2019-09-06T08:26:22","date_gmt":"2019-09-06T12:26:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=23775"},"modified":"2019-09-06T08:56:35","modified_gmt":"2019-09-06T12:56:35","slug":"week-i-think-isaac-said-15-previews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-i-think-isaac-said-15-previews\/","title":{"rendered":"Week (I think Isaac said 15?) Previews"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

written by The Money and The Banana Stand<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, this week\u2019s previews are Arrested Development-themed. If you have (foolishly) never watched the show and as such get none of our references, well…that\u2019s your own fault, now isn\u2019t it?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note:<\/em> I said this would be an extremely niche preview but someone<\/em> didn\u2019t want to hear me out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Lbs, Inc. (GOB Bluth) vs.  Poutine Machine (Annyong Bluth)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lbs are like GOB in that they are shifty magicians who date females well above their pay grade. Poutine are like Annyong in that they are angry, and always seem to be out for revenge. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Prediction: Lbs have only lost 1 game all season, but if anyone can beat GOB it\u2019s Annyong. And, yes\u2026..Poutine does it this Sunday. Poutine 3, Lbs 2. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Fresh Kills (George Sr.) vs.  What the Puck (Kitty Sanchez)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Kills are George Sr. in that they\u2019re both wily veterans who are always out for a win. Do they sometimes participate in illegal activities that will eventually land them in jail? Who\u2019s to know. The Pucks are Kitty in that they just straight up love to party and have a good time. (\u201cSpring Break!!\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: The Spring Breakers (someone please get this movie reference) continue to roll as they notch the W over the veterans, 4-2. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cobra Kai (Maeby) vs. Dark Rainbows (Michael Bluth)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cobra Kai are like Maeby – resourceful and resilient, and cooler than you. The Rainbows are like Michael. Let\u2019s face it, he\u2019s a real sweetheart.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Prediction: In the game of the week the sweethearts give the dojo a real run for their money, as it\u2019s tied 2-2 late. However, the Bows can\u2019t quite get it done as Longley bangs home the game winner with under 2 minutes left in regulation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rehabs (Bob Loblaw) vs. Sky Fighters (Buster Bluth)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Sky Fighters are Buster because just when you think they\u2019re going to stand on their own 2 feet\u2026..they get knocked down again (by poaching). The Rehabs are Bob Loblaw because in the past some of their ethics have been, umm\u2026.questionable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: My prediction is that\u2026…the Rehabs will be mad at us for this comment. Oh, also, they win. By quite a margin. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Denim Demons (Steve Holt) vs. Mathematics (\u201cI\u2019m Tom Jane\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Demons are dumb jocks just like Steve Holt, and also they probably never had a father.  Math meanwhile \u201chave the lean look, effortless hair, and dressed down manner of a movie star.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Prediction: Dumbs jocks may be dumb, but they\u2019re also good at sports. This fact holds true here. \u201cSteve Holt!!\u201d 3, Math 1.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filthier (Sally Sitwell) vs. Gremlins (George Michael)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Filthier are Sally Sitwell because they are just plain too good for you. The Gremlins, meanwhile, are George Michael because they are smart and nerdy, but also a little awkward. (And possibly vegan.) Editor\u2019s note:<\/em> Definitely vegan. Erich could score more goals if he incorporated lean protein into his diet. Or started snorting salt – it\u2019s the vegan way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Also they both wear yellow. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: In a hot girl\/nerdy guy scenario, the nerdy guy usually prevails in the movies. But, this is no movie and the Grems fall the way they always fall to Filthy: exactly 3-2.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Butchers (Warden Gentles) vs.  Mega Touch (Ann Veal, aka \u201cEgg\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Butchers are like Warden Gentles in that they just WON\u2019T STOP yammering on about their screenplay.  Mega are Ann because you THINK they\u2019re all sweet and innocent\u2026..but then Julie forms the Shortis and Ann dumps George Michael and starts dating GOB. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: We get it, Butchers, you\u2019re creative and cooler than us. (And have really nice hair long or short but who\u2019s counting, BRADY.) Guess what? It won\u2019t stop y’all from losing this game to Mega, 3-1. But it will stop y’all from really giving a crap afterward. So aloof. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hookers (Lucille Bluth) vs. Tompkins Square Riots (Tobias)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Hooks are like Lucille in that they are reckless (and also probably drink a lot of vodka?). The Riots are like Tobias in that they are destined for the theater. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Prediction: Watching this one is like watching a \u201cfire…saaaaaaaale\u201d. Nah, it\u2019s more like an actual fire. The Riots get burned, badly. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instant Karma (The Narrator, aka Ron Howard) vs. Fuzz (Lucille 2)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma are the narrator, because Isaac is the \u201ceyes and ears of this institution, my friends\u201d.  Fuzz are Lucille 2 because they had such a downward spiral this season you\u2019d think they have vertigo.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note:<\/em> All Rich knows is a downward spiral at this point. First Fuzz, then his softball team, and now, the Mets in their Tuesday night performance. Ouch.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: Isaac is all-knowing, but that doesn\u2019t always help in hockey. What does help in hockey is Jeff, Miles, and Ryann. Fuzz win, 4-3.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gut Rot (Lindsay Bluth) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (Maggie Lizer)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gut Rot is Lindsay Bluth – quirky, charming, and somehow, some way, can get away with a win. Also they\u2019re easy. Well, their GUYS are easy. (We\u2019re looking at you, Akhil.) The Biters are Maggie Lizer, because…they aren\u2019t exactly what they seem. Sure, they are the fun, old school BTSH bunch that we\u2019ve always loved, but underneath they are (as Glanzer recently told us) a venerable POWERHOUSE team, at this point.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction: Biters win by a lot, Becca claims they should all get stars for scoring on her.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

written by The Money and The Banana Stand So, this week\u2019s previews are Arrested Development-themed. If you have (foolishly) never watched the show and as such get none of our references, well…that\u2019s your own fault, now isn\u2019t it?  Editor\u2019s note: I said this would be an extremely niche preview but someone didn\u2019t want to hear […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1401,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23775"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1401"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23775"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23812,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23775\/revisions\/23812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}