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<\/a>Karma: 9-9 (78.3%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rotten Math: 5-6 Suited (21.7%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rotten Math checks in with 5-6 suited, a hand that doesn\u2019t do great against many hands heads-up but actually does better against monsters like aces or kings than almost any hand. But they are badly overmatched against Karma which is bringing pocket 9s to the table and claiming they don\u2019t have a good hand. Like come on guys, we know 9s are pretty good. Board runs out 7-7-9-A-8 rainbow, giving Rotten Math a straight but Karma a boat for the heartbreaking win. I chose 9s because that\u2019s about the number of times I expect Isaac to claim after the game that they were the underdogs all along and the amount of slaps per claim I expected him to receive if Sarahbox Sarah hears it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Butchers vs Rehabs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Rehabs: A-Q off (74%) This is a mismatch from the jump as the Rehabs are bringing their stacked lineup to town against a Butchers team that has struggled mightily this season and hasn\u2019t scored a goal in two full games. The Habs’ AQ off can compete with pretty much any hand out there while Q8 can win some money if played properly and in position against weak blinds, but it\u2019s just not happening against this team and this hand on Sunday. Board runs out A-A-5-Q-9 and it\u2019s over before it even begins. Rehabs romp. Hicks rips off his shirt and spins it over his head like a helicopter as if he’s Petey Pablo circa 2001. He tried to do this in the middle of a flip cup game last week and was almost physically attacked by his team. True story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fresh Kills vs Corlears Hookers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n FK: Q-Q (71.7%) The Fresh Kills are rolling up to showdown with QQ (the Qs do not stand for Quebec but they might as well), a legit premium hand and most likely the best on paper and when matched up against other hands across the league. I guess you could say the queens are the Colby girls but I don\u2019t know, I\u2019ve always thought Gabe would look great in a tiara. Meanwhile the Hookers are A-9, a dangerous hand but also one that novice players generally think is stronger than it really is. The talent is there but with Tiffany tragically gone and Newnie tragically injured and Lee tragically making games, it\u2019s a difficult situation to manage. They have a chance but I wouldn\u2019t bet on it, and I\u2019d bet on just about anything. Fresh Kills are just too solid up front and they prove it with a comfortable win<\/p>\n\n\n\n Filthier vs Fuzz<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Filthier: K-Q suited (30.1%) Filthier has the king and queen (James and Ann) but that ultra sexy and exciting hand unfortunately doesn\u2019t hold up well against AK suited, especially when Ann and James don\u2019t even live in the state anymore.\u00a0\u00a0Fuzz rolls in with big slick (no, that is not Mike T\u2019s new nickname), ace-king, a high-end hand but not a made hand either.\u00a0\u00a0If this was last season they\u2019d be suited or paired already; this season they have a little work to do as a 6-0-1 record has belied some spotty attendance and a lot of personnel turnover. But they catch a team that they always seem to match up beautifully against on a week where they should have Jeff ready to go, fresh out of Detroit like his last name was Mathers and his lack of drinking belied a serious\u00a0vicodin addiction<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0Filthy has done admirable work this season patching holes in their roster but Fuzz always seems to have their # and I don\u2019t see that changing this week.\u00a0\u00a0Board runs out 2-2-4-K-J and Fuzz gets another win.\u00a0\u00a0It would appears the only person in BTSH who can stop them is\u00a0Business Annie<\/a>. Riots: Q-2 (36%) Riots get a Q here just because they have Margot but they\u2019ve got an otherwise tough hand and it\u2019s not an easy one to improve post-flop either. Demons get K8 because they\u2019ve always got some elite talent at the top of the lineup but can never quite put it together for a deep run. In this game, however, that won\u2019t be necessary as the board runs out 8-8-J-2-4 and the Demons pick up a no-sweat victory. The only sweat they receive all day is when Gene throws one of the skateboarders in a kimura after the game. But of course he reinjures his back doing it and it’s back to the IR for everyone’s favorite Tatiana’s enthusiast<\/a>. LBS: J-J (54%) With apologies to Fuzz & Filthier (but not really because I apologize for absolutely nothing<\/a>), this is easily the game of the week. Cobra Kai, who just suffered their first loss of the season in a tight 2-0 affair, roll in with AQ, a top tier hand to be sure but one that is constantly questioned by top pros because while it dominates a large range of possible holdings it doesn\u2019t have much equity against top end hands; usually you\u2019re at best a coin-flip, at worst you\u2019re walking in already dominated by AK\/QQ. Sig’s not going to like hearing that and will probably punch me in the dick when he sees me in a few hours but hey make a BTSH preview omelette, gotta break a few BTSH eggs. Thankfully for them and him and possibly the health of my dick, the LBS have been having injury and roster issues all season and showdown with pocket jacks, making this matchup the quintessential race, a classic coinflip. Why jacks? Well, inside sources tell us that there is an electric development going on in the Poundtown nets. With Zisser fully expecting to be arrested this weekend in Detroit, a hero has emerged from the the back-alleys of Minnesota. A silent guardian. A watchful protector<\/a>. The guy who calls his glove \u201cthe vacuum\u201d but lives in a place that hasn\u2019t been vacuumed in over three years. That\u2019s right – it\u2019s Goalie Jack making his second appearance of the season in net, the first being a 4-2 win for the Fresh Kills over Rehabs. There are not many goalies in the league, even the full-time ones, who get wins over Cobra Kai and the Rehabs in the same season and a win here would vault him into actual respectable goalie territory. It\u2019s hard to say who wants this win the most out of the LBS, Cobra Kai or Jack. But considering the LBS have both their own desires and Jack’s, are icing an actual lineup these days and are appropriately rocking pocket jacks in this hypothetical fever dream of a hand, and the fact that our sub goalie is having actual dreams about this game over 72 hours out, I\u2019m picking Poundtown to take down the dojo with a board run-out of 2-7-9-4-2. Then again, did you really expect me to pick something different?<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/a>
The Butchers: Q-8 off (26%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hookers: A-9 (28.3%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuzz: A-K off (69.9%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Riots vs Denim Demons<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Demons: K-8 (64%)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
LBS vs Cobra Kai<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cobra Kai: A-Q suited (46%) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/a>