{"id":2693,"date":"2010-04-22T22:34:17","date_gmt":"2010-04-23T03:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=2693"},"modified":"2010-05-08T21:22:06","modified_gmt":"2010-05-09T01:22:06","slug":"week-3-preview-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-3-preview-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 3 Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Media Is Always Watching You<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

GAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong>
\nHappy Little Elves (1-0-0-1) at Unicorns<\/strong><\/strong> (2-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Both the Happy Little Elves and the Unicorns teams enter this critical Fairy Tale Cup contest coming off of impressive wins.\u00a0 Last Sunday, the Elves stunned the Corlears Hookers 7-4 to open their five-game road trip.\u00a0 “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick led his team by example with two second-half goals, while Rich Glanzer made the smart coaching decision not to play himself for the second straight week.\u00a0 Meanwhile, the Unicorns knocked off the defending champion Sky Fighters in a hard-fought 4-3 victory.\u00a0 After shutting out the Dark Rainbows on opening day, goaltender Craig “Ug” LaCombe played spectacularly once again and fended off a barrage of shots (mostly from Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka) to preserve the win.\u00a0 With both the Elves and Unicorns looking sharp early on, this game will not only be key in deciding the Fairy Tale Cup, but also the Hackett Division.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. The Elves have had a propensity for late game heroics this season, as a last minute goal by Garrett “Ax” Carrino salvaged a point against the Rehabs, and five second half goals (including the two by Chadwick)\u00a0flipped a 3-2 deficit into the\u00a0win against the Hookers.
\n2. Unicorns free agent acquisition Joe has scored a goal in each of his team’s first two games.\u00a0 He is stepping in well to fill the shoes of\u00a0key losses\u00a0Nelson and “Biff” (Ted).
\n3. The Elves defeated the Unicorns last season, prompting Rich Glanzer and “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick to believe that they had won the\u00a0prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.\u00a0 However, the win actually forced a three-way tie in the series,\u00a0ironically allowing the Unicorns to maintain possession.\u00a0 Glanzer still does not understand this concept.
\nEli’s Pick:<\/strong> Happy Little Elves.\u00a0 Sorry, Rich.
\nDerek’s Pick:<\/strong> Happy Little Elves.\u00a0 I’ve heard rumors that Chris “Crush” O’Neil will be back for this week, making the Elves even more dangerous.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Clavicles<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Mathematics (0-1-0-1) at Gut Rot (1-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Gut Rot notched a huge win last week against\u00a0the new-look\u00a0Fresh Kills and will look to\u00a0build on that result\u00a0in\u00a0the team’s\u00a0home opener against the Mathematics.
\nWatchability: <\/strong>2 Clavicles.\u00a0 Despite Gut Rot’s win last week, both teams are still shaking off some offseason rust.<\/p>\n

Mega Touch (1-1) at Gouging Anklebiters (1-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Mega Touch leads 6-5-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> After being held scoreless for the first 85 minutes of the season,\u00a0the Gouging Anklebiters tallied a second half goal against the Butchers last Sunday and went on to win in a shootout.\u00a0 Mega Touch’s star player and former captain Eric Devlin is questionable for this game with a lower body injury.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Gouging Anklebiters
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Gouging Anklebiters.\u00a0 A hobbled Devlin does not bode well for the Touch.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Clavicles<\/p>\n

Filthy Gorgeous (1-1) at Butchers (0-1-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> The Butchers have devised a strategy to neutralize\u00a0Filthy Gorgeous’ star defender Matthew Novick.\u00a0 They\u00a0will\u00a0triple-team Novick’s teammate Joe “Monster Mash” Essock, as it was recently revealed in an online profile that\u00a0he is Novick’s favorite player on the team.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous.\u00a0 Novick will just pass to “Gentleman” James Pereira instead.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Clavicles<\/p>\n

Cobra Kai (2-0) at Poutine Machine (1-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Although Cobra Kai forward Will Kuhns did not\u00a0wear his lucky pink hat last week, he still scored two goals while wearing a generic white baseball cap.\u00a0 Kuhns has now\u00a0pledged to wear a different hat each week until Cobra Kai loses.\u00a0 In response, Poutine Machine octogenarian Tim “(S)crappy” Gray is going in the other direction and\u00a0has pledged\u00a0not to\u00a0change his underwear for the rest of the season.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 Kuhns will look very intimidating should he wear a Pickelhaube<\/a><\/em>.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 Cobra Kai hall of famer and near namesake Stefanie Volanto got engaged this week, so they’ll win it for her.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Clavicles<\/p>\n

Tompkins Square Riots (2-0) at Dark Rainbows (0-2)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Has anyone told the Dark Rainbows that these games count in the standings?
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows. Now, someone has.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Clavicles<\/p>\n

LBS, Inc. (0-2) at Denim Demons (2-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 9-1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> After a brutal opening\u00a0two weeks\u00a0against the Corlears Hookers and Filthy Gorgeous, the road gets no easier for LBS, Inc.\u00a0 The\u00a0Corporation next\u00a0faces Rubens Division foe the Denim Demons, who have looked impressive\u00a0with wins against Filthy Gorgeous and La Famiglia.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> LBS, Inc.\u00a0 The Demons always seem to bring out the best in the Corporation.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Denim Demons.\u00a0 They’ve looked great so far, so I see no reason to go against them now.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Clavicles<\/p>\n

La Famiglia (0-2) at Fresh Kills (1-0-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Fresh Kills leads 11-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Lost in the excitement and fanfare of Dave Ladanyi’s new team name initiative is the startling fact that La Famiglia has lost its first two games.\u00a0 However, Ladanyi remains undeterred, as Shafiq “Off Black” Perry’s\u00a0red La Famiglia jersey is now the top seller in all of BTSH, even surpassing that of the Dark Rainbows’ John Nielsen.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> No pick.\u00a0 Eli will be reffing this game.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> La Famiglia.\u00a0 Denis Miciletto is due for a breakout game.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 Clavicles.\u00a0 Perry’s burgeoning popularity should ensure a big crowd.<\/p>\n

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong>
\nCorlears Hookers (1-1) at What The Puck (2-0)
\n<\/strong>Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 2-2
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Much like Adriano’s prized collection of Judge Reinhold DVDs, this game has something for everyone. You’ve got two perennial powerhouses looking to take control of the season (Beverly Hills Cop I, II,<\/em> and III<\/em>), contrasting orange vs. purple jerseys that make it easy for spectators to tell them apart (Stripes<\/em>), and lastly, a cameo appearance by a topless Phoebe Cates (Fast Times at Ridgemont High<\/em>).<\/p>\n

Okay, so I made that last one up. Still, it looks to be a great game. WTP has made street hockey look easy so far, cruising to two quality wins to open the season, including one over the Sky Fighters, where they exacted (a little) revenge for last year’s finals defeat. Another W this week would solidify their status as the 2010 team to beat. The ’09 semifinalist Hookers come off a tough loss last week: a surprising and likely survivor pool-busting upset at the hands of the Happy Little Elves. Is it possible that the Hookers left some of their mojo at Corlears Hook Park? That the move to Tompkins has sapped the strength from their loins? Impossible to know, but I will say that WTP are the ones with all the babies in strollers at courtside.<\/p>\n

On paper this one is all WTP, and the betting public will be all over them. The sharp money, however, says that when the horn sounds at the end, Adriano will be the one sitting on the crapper in his Long John Silvers outfit, screaming “Doesn’t anybody f@#&-ing knock?!?”
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> What the Puck by 2.5
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Take the Hookers and the points
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 5 Spicolis<\/p>\n

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)
\n<\/strong>Written by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nSky Fighters (0-2) at Rehabs (2-0)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Sky Fighters lead 5-3
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Mike Tyson is credited as once saying, “Everyone has a plan until the first time they get punched in the mouth.” Well, the defending champs are 0-2 and bleeding from the lip. Can they recover?\u00a0 The $howT!m3-less Rehabs are feeling frisky with their 2-0 record, and while the opening-day OT win over the Elves was solid, we didn’t really learn much from last week’s domination of the Mathematics, who at this point would be underdogs to a collection of TSP homeless guys, hipster babies, and Mini Schnauzers [Ed<\/em>: But we’d still win!]. This should be a close one, but it says here that Sky Fighters meal ticket Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cekja puts the team on his back and rights the ship.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Pick-em
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Sky Fighters by 2
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 tall boys of Olde English 800<\/p>\n

Survivor Pool<\/h4>\n

Adriano Bratta (WTP) – Gouging Anklebiters
\nBen Chadwick (HLE) – Happy Little Elves
\nJesse Kalb (But) – Tompkins Square Riots
\nDan Owens (FG) – Dark Rainbows<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Media Is Always Watching You GAME OF THE WEEK Happy Little Elves (1-0-0-1) at Unicorns (2-0) Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Tied 1-1 Game Notes: Both the Happy Little Elves and the Unicorns teams enter this critical Fairy Tale Cup contest coming off of impressive wins.\u00a0 Last Sunday, the Elves stunned the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[132,30,13,308],"class_list":["post-2693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2010-season","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-unicorns","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2693"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2693"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2693\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2812,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2693\/revisions\/2812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}