{"id":26963,"date":"2022-09-22T09:58:32","date_gmt":"2022-09-22T13:58:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/?p=26963"},"modified":"2022-09-22T09:58:34","modified_gmt":"2022-09-22T13:58:34","slug":"week-16-previews-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-16-previews-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 16 Previews"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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renaissance action shot credit to Tia as per usual<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This week we told the writers f*ck it, NO CONTEXT hockey previews – write whatever pops into your mind about these teams. Some people rambled, some people wrote haikus, some people totally misunderstood the assignment – what will those crazy media kids say next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the Puck v Lbs<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where the hell is Phil? They could use Tarnow but he\u2019s probably stuck in Croatia. Avery only owns two hats: outdoor voices and Alo yoga \u2014 v pretentious brands for an unpretentious hockey player. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lbs win it 5-0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rainbows v Poutine<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jess has a black eye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though I saw it happen, I know Poutine did it to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poutine 4-1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Biters v Lbs<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amy is a fantastic arm wrestler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Caitlin is not but she loves cats way more than Amy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lbs. 5-2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alex\u2019s last name sounds like the number 3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are 3 letters in his team name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Illuminati confirmed, Lbs win this game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Riots v Butchers<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Riots have two guys named Ian, which I find interesting because I don\u2019t think I know one Ian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All BTSH-related measurements should be measured in a new unit called, \u201cChadwicks\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Riots 4-2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hookers v Filthier<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I saw Pigozzi play with freshly tatted ink last Sunday #metal<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ellie doesn\u2019t have any tattoos (but an unreliable rumor I just started says she\u2019s going to get the PBR cup put on her face if Filthier wins it all).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hookers in OT 3-2.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the Puck v Fresh Kills<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Orange is a strangely popular hockey color, and because of other NYC hockey leagues\u2014that will not be mentioned*\u2014seeing Henry wear any color besides orange is weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We see more of Ariel with his primary home in Florida than we did with his main home in New York. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

FK 5-3<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Editor’s note: If you’re a woman, please consider signing up for d5 hockey on tuesdays we need less smelly dudes and more girl power<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuzz v Cobra Kai<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every single time I ask Walsh who\u2019s ahead in one of his Fuzz games (and it\u2019s usually Fuzz), he says, \u201cThe good guys.\u201d This was kinda funny the first time. Like four years ago or whenever that team started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cobra Kai Season 5 on Netflix is also not so funny anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This game goes to a shootout and Brita wins it for The Dojo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bad Seeds v Sky Fighters<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was so great seeing so many of the long time BTSH\u2019rs playing for the Bad Seeds last week: Liza, Tommy, Scotty, Zach and Diane\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Sky Fighters kid line is back from Israel and I think they both just turned 21. One of their fathers played in the league when the aforementioned Seeds showed up more regularly!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sky Fighters for the W<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gremlins v Poutine\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allison is a sick drummer – she played in Awesome Color (check them out) – coolest Gremlin by far. A member of Poutine said to me and I quote, \u201cSee Jess, we\u2019re a different team now, we respect refs!!!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poutine takes it 6-1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rainbows v Agents<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dana Rainbow bought a shot at Doc Holliday\u2019s so I could go to the bathroom in a civilized manner.* Such a selfless act. Others should also do this for me (23andMia)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Agents\u2019 diverse makeup is fantastic. They have a fellow named Leaf, which is also fantastic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Rainbows are more fantastic and take it 5-1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Editor\u2019s sarcastic note: I\u2019m sure it was really, really hard for Dana to have to take a shot at Doc\u2019s<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Demons v Mega Touch<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I keep seeing Adam running through our neighborhood. I always yell out but he never hears me. What is he listening to? And does he step on those moths* we\u2019re supposed to kill because they\u2019re eating all our crops?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alex is a fantastic illustrator and very creative, but not creative enough to talk his team out of choosing shirts that are Rainbow pink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mega 3-2<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Editor\u2019s note: Lantern Fly, red and gray speckled, if you see one kill it!!!!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Karma vs. Vertz<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

JW:<\/em> Is Karma vs. Vertz the new Karma vs. Poutine rivalry? Does BTSH even have any rivalries left? Also, does Derek Z. even play anymore? Are the Vertz hot or cold right now? Will Nicole ever come back to visit us? Will Hicks have Taco Bell right before this game? I have no idea on any of these, the only thing I do know is that one of these teams definitely needs to be on a color change for this game. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prediction:<\/em> Karma takes this one, 3-2 in regulation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dingle<\/em>: JW didn\u2019t read the media\u2019s email about no-hockey context previews<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week we told the writers f*ck it, NO CONTEXT hockey previews – write whatever pops into your mind about these teams. Some people rambled, some people wrote haikus, some people totally misunderstood the assignment – what will those crazy media kids say next? What the Puck v Lbs Where the hell is Phil? They […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6604,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-info"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26963"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6604"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26963"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26963\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26965,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26963\/revisions\/26965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}