{"id":2856,"date":"2010-05-20T23:28:13","date_gmt":"2010-05-21T03:28:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=2856"},"modified":"2010-05-23T10:21:15","modified_gmt":"2010-05-23T14:21:15","slug":"week-6-preview-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-6-preview-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 6 Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dan Hopper Is Having The Best Week Ever<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

GAME OF THE WEEK
\nDark Rainbows (1-2-0-1) at Sky Fighters (2-2)<\/strong><\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Past champions collide in this highly anticipated Hackett Division battle.\u00a0 The Dark Rainbows struggled to open the season, with losses to the Unicorns, What The Puck, and Gouging Anklebiters.\u00a0 However, they are now coming off an impressive 4-2 win against the Happy Little Elves in a Fairy Tale Cup matchup.\u00a0 2009 team scoring leader John Nielsen led the way in this contest\u00a0with two goals, including the game-winner.\u00a0 The Sky Fighters were also slow out of the gate, as they too lost to What The Puck and the Unicorns.\u00a0 However, they have turned things around with back to back shutouts of Mega Touch and Poutine Machine.\u00a0 With both teams coming off of momentum-building wins, this matchup looks a lot better than it did a week ago.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. Although the Dark Rainbows are tied for most goals against in BTSH, goalie John Meyer played impressively last Sunday, holding the Happy Little Elves’ potent offense to only two.
\n2.\u00a0Sky Fighters netminder James Stein has not allowed a goal in more than 100 minutes of play.\u00a0 How long can he continue this hot streak?
\n3. Due to attendance issues last week, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper almost had to break out his patented “50 Minutes of Martin” strategy.\u00a0 However, with an extra player showing up five minutes into the game, Martin played just a scant\u00a040 minutes instead.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows.\u00a0 They’ve gotten rid of all of their offseason rust.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Sky Fighters.\u00a0 I’ll go with the more recent champions.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Abdos<\/p>\n

Unicorns (3-1) at Denim Demons (3-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 5-5-2
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> The Denim Demons notched an impressive shootout victory last week against their arch-rivals, the Rehabs.\u00a0 They will look to continue their momentum against the Unicorns, who suffered their first loss of the season last week against La Famiglia.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Denim Demons
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Denim Demons.\u00a0 They continued to look impressive last week, even while down several players.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Abdos<\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters (3-1) at Gut Rot (1-2-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> After a season opening loss to Fresh Kills, the Gouging Anklebiters have run off three consecutive victories.\u00a0 They made a statement last Sunday with a 7-3 win over Cobra Kai, which included a hat trick by sophomore Alex Derhohannesian and a quality start between the pipes by league degenerate Alex Owen.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Gouging Anklebiters.\u00a0 They haven’t lost since the hazing allegations story broke.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Gouging Anklebiters
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Abdos<\/p>\n

Happy Little Elves (2-1-0-1) at Cobra Kai (2-2)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> The Happy Little Elves enter this 2010\u00a0Barnacle Bowl\u00a0game with possession of the coveted trophy.\u00a0 Last season, with the Elves and Cobra Kai in the same division (Rubens), they faced off\u00a0against each other twice.\u00a0\u00a0The Elves won the first game in overtime and scored a late goal to force a tie in the second.\u00a0 Elves captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick attributed the series victory to the inspired\u00a0play of Rich Glanzer, who “played like he really wanted that trophy.”
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Tie game.\u00a0 I’d pick the Elves, but right now, Glanzer has all the mobility of the Undertaker during one of his ring entrances.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Happy Little Elves
\nWatchability: <\/strong>3.5 Abdos<\/p>\n

La Famiglia (1-3) at Tompkins Square Riots (3-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Marketing reports revealed this week that five of the league’s top selling jerseys come from La Famiglia.\u00a0 On the other hand, the Tompkins Square Riots don’t even have jerseys.
\n<\/a>Eli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Tompkins Square Riots
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> La Famiglia.\u00a0 Another win means increased merchandise sales, so really, this would be good for the whole league.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 Abdos<\/p>\n

Rehabs (2-1-0-1) at Mega Touch (2-2)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Rehabs lead 7-4
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Mega Touch captain Greg Kellerman is confident about his team’s chances due to teammate Joe Lops’ apparently impeccable physique.\u00a0 Kellerman notes, “He has superb musculature in his thighs, his chest was chiseled out of marble by Michelangelo, and quite frankly, his ass is sublime.\u00a0 Truly, he has the quintessentially perfect body for a BTSH power forward.”
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Rehabs.\u00a0 They’re not happy about losing to the Demons last week.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Rehabs.\u00a0 Joe Lops notwithstanding, of course.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2 Abdos<\/p>\n

Flowing Locks at Balding Furies
\n<\/strong>Location:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> In lieu of a game that counts in the standings,\u00a0What The Puck and the Corlears Hookers will instead play an intra-squad exhibition.\u00a0 Teams will be divided based on hair volume and baldness.\u00a0 Leading the “Flowing Locks” squad will be WTP’s Corey “Chongo” Winters and the Hookers’ Jason Eitel, while WTP’s Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta and the Hookers’ Peter Putka will lead the “Balding Furies”.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Flowing Locks
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Balding Furies
\nWatchability: <\/strong>3.5 Abdos.\u00a0 The players’ hearts won’t be into it, but the humor value will still be there.<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills (3-0-0-1) at Mathematics (0-3-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Fresh Kills leads 2-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Fresh Kills rookie goaltender Patrick Barch is quickly becoming the frontrunner for Rookie of the Year, as he has allowed just two goals in four games and\u00a0recorded two shutouts.
\nWatchability: <\/strong>1.5 Abdos.\u00a0 Kevin “The Planet” Foster does not want a large audience, as he’s really just a sensitive guy.<\/p>\n

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong>
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nFilthy Gorgeous (2-2) at LBS, Inc. (1-2-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous leads 4-2-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Not a lot has changed since the first meeting between these Rubens Division rivals, when Filthy posted a solid 3-1 win. While they are both finding their way this season, Filthy has more quality wins and simply seems more focused. Perhaps the preseason LBS team outing to a Tijuana Donkey show has nothing to do with their slow start, but then again, maybe it does.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Filthy by 2
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Take the Gorgeous and give the points
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2 lace doilies. Until LBS shows some fight, they are dead to me.<\/p>\n

HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)<\/strong>
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nPoutine Machine (2-2) at Butchers (0-3-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong>\u00a0Following the team’s slow start (0-3-1, 4 goals total), Butchers captain Ben Bloom recently held a closed-door meeting to address the lack of team fitness, and how the team needed to get serious in\u00a0its physical training if\u00a0it was\u00a0going to turn things around. In keeping with the official BTSH recommendation about proper footwear, all members of the Butchers will be required to wear Skechers Shape-ups for all games for the rest of the year. In issuing the directive, Bloom allegedly singled out team members Rachel “A-Korn” Greene and Arnold Sanchez for “flabby buttocks.” This has not been a problem for Poutine Machine, who seem to be staying away from their eponymous treat, posting a respectable 2-2 record. Captain Svatrick Larsen has the team playing hard, but inconsistent goalkeeping and erratic play has left\u00a0it with\u00a0the second-worst goal differential in the league.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Poutine by 1
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Butchers are knocking on the door and will keep it close. Take the points.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 squat-thrusts. The Greene-Larsen rivalry will keep this one lively.<\/p>\n

Survivor Pool<\/h4>\n

Adriano Bratta (WTP) – Rehabs
\nBen Chadwick (HLE) – Rehabs
\nJesse Kalb (But) – Rehabs<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dan Hopper Is Having The Best Week Ever GAME OF THE WEEK Dark Rainbows (1-2-0-1) at Sky Fighters (2-2) Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3 Game Notes: Past champions collide in this highly anticipated Hackett Division battle.\u00a0 The Dark Rainbows struggled to open the season, with losses to the Unicorns, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[132,12,14,308],"class_list":["post-2856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2010-season","tag-dark-rainbows","tag-sky-fighters","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2856"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2856"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2856\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2884,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2856\/revisions\/2884"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}