{"id":297,"date":"2008-06-10T22:03:17","date_gmt":"2008-06-11T03:03:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=297"},"modified":"2008-09-10T18:57:58","modified_gmt":"2008-09-10T23:57:58","slug":"week-7-news-and-notes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-7-news-and-notes\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 7 News and Notes"},"content":{"rendered":"

What’s With the Dalai Lama Picture?<\/h4>\n

\u00a0
\n<\/embed><\/object>
\n2008 BTSH Ladies All-Star Party<\/a> from Erik Price (filmed by Len Guinto)<\/a> on Vimeo<\/a>.
\n\u00a0
\nThree Wheels Are Better Than Two<\/strong>
\nJust prior to the start of the Women’s All-Star Game, the (potentially) First Annual BTSH Tricycle Race commenced, as all five entrants chugged\u00a0a beer to determine which trike each one would ride.\u00a0 Once each participant had his vehicle, the\u00a0three-beer, three-lap race officially\u00a0started when the\u00a0five competitors, as well as\u00a0self-appointed race official Bryan “Stork” Welch, drank their second\u00a0beer.\u00a0 Dan Owens<\/a> (Filthy Gorgeous) was declared the winner in a photo finish, after he stormed past\u00a0runner-up James Townsend-Butterworth<\/a> (Sky Fighters), who dogged it to the finish line, believing his victory was already secure.\u00a0 However, James’s efforts should still be commended as his\u00a0front wheel\u00a0broke off early in the race, thus\u00a0requiring the assistance of teammate Chris Shumaker<\/a>.\u00a0 Although Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer<\/a> (Bad Touch) finished third,\u00a0he was soundly booed for his blatant cheating.\u00a0 Erik Price<\/a> (Mexican Standoff) finished in fourth place, despite jumping out to\u00a0an early lead.\u00a0 Rob Gorden<\/a> (Mighty Squirrels) struggled to down his first beer in one gulp and brought up the rear, even with\u00a0Amy Kovner (Gouging Anklebiters) pushing him from behind.\u00a0 There will be an awards ceremony for the race at the Johnson’s\u00a0this Sunday evening.<\/p>\n

The only item missing from the race was a bullhorn for announcing purposes.\u00a0 Jefferson Hendricks had his sister bring one down from his parents’ house in Albany, but could not resist using his new toy on Saturday evening.\u00a0\u00a0It was confiscated by police at 3:00 AM, and he was issued a summons for using a sound production device without a permit.<\/p>\n

For a different, and slightly Sky Fighters biased view of the race, check out Samantha Lee’s video here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Even NYC’s Finest Wanted to Watch<\/strong>
\nDirectly following the tricycle race, it was time for the main event (must be the main event, since we’re giving it such good coverage): the Women’s All-Star Game. The lovely ladies of BTSH were divided into the TRIS and the DELTS, in accordance with the Revenge of the Nerds<\/em> theme. The game commenced with fast-paced multi-ball action, but with head ref, Bryan “Stork” Welch, potentially tipsy and certainly paying attention elsewhere, none of those goals counted in the final tally.\u00a0 Thus, the real game began about five minutes later.\u00a0 Once the serious action began, the ladies were finally able to showcase their immense skill. In the end, the DELTS triumphed by a score of 2-1. Special congratulations to Liza Watts, who played in goal for the DELTS.<\/p>\n

Know Your Neighbors<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"A.<\/a><\/p>\n

Name:<\/strong> Amy Lott
\nTeam:<\/strong> Sky Fighters
\nNickname:<\/strong> none
\nSuggested Nickname:<\/strong> The Glamazon
\nRejected Nicknames:<\/strong> Blotter, That Girl on Martin’s Team, Parking
\nOrigin:<\/strong> Cincinnati, Ohio
\nCollege:<\/strong> University of Cincinnati
\nEarly Aspirations:<\/strong> To be a rocket scientist
\nReason to Love Her:<\/strong> Her lighthearted, joyous demeanor and unwavering zest for life
\nReason to Hate Her:<\/strong> She was talkin’ smack about your mom.
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> She lived in San Francisco for four years, until they kicked her out.
\nFavorite Things:<\/strong> Beer, dirty words, Bob Huggins, and herself
\nBest Known For:<\/strong> Getting the media in trouble with her potty mouth
\nPro Comparison:<\/strong> Brian Smolinski…another Buckeye known for his offensive prowess.
\nNon-Pro Comparison:<\/strong>\u00a0Zsa Zsa Gabor.\u00a0 Both are pretty much famous just for being famous.\u00a0 And of course, the whole nine husbands thing.
\nDirtiest Political Campaign:<\/strong>\u00a0Her battle for\u00a0ninth grade class treasurer at Jerry Springer\u00a0High School…but at least, she won.
\nThings the Media Will Continue to Overhype about Her:<\/strong>\u00a0 Her unending use of vulgar language.\u00a0 You should have heard some of the other<\/em> suggestions for the Happy Little Elves’ new team name.
\nDown the Road:<\/strong> Amy figures out a way to fill every starting spot on her team with herself.\u00a0 However, the Sky Fighters still win the championship, because she leaves Martin Cejka\u00a0on the bench as a backup.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Captains\u2019 Commendations<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bad Touch:<\/strong> Randy Locklair<\/em> from Mexican Standoff volunteered to play in goal.
\nCobra Kai:<\/strong> After hemming and hawing for a good minute, Peter Oblamski said, “Give it to me<\/em>. It’s my birthday. Fuck it.”
\nCorlears Hookers:<\/strong> Mexican Standoff<\/em> agreed to play out the remaining two minutes of regulation time, even after the mercy rule had been applied.
\nDark Rainbows:<\/strong> Libby Hartle-Tyrrell<\/em> took a stick to the chin, which left a bruise.
\nDenim Demons:<\/strong> Lena Moy-Borgen<\/em> had the assist on Zack Tinkelman’s game-tying goal, with the goalie pulled and thirty seconds remaining in regulation.
\nGouging Anklebiters:<\/strong> Alex Owen<\/em> “strapped on goalie gear in ninety-five degree bullshit.”
\nHappy Little Elves:<\/strong> Jason Fate<\/em> kicked ass and had some really beautiful saves.
\nFilthy Gorgeous:<\/strong> Monica Russo<\/em> picked herself for looking so good.
\nFresh Kills:<\/strong> Third-string goalie Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg<\/em> played well and is threatening to take over second-string duties from Shane-O DeBlasio.
\nLBS:<\/strong> Despite the fact that he’s old and\u00a0overweight, is a smoker and an alchoholic, and struggles with personal hygiene, Seth Wachtell<\/em> beat the heat and stayed strong.
\nMathematics:<\/strong> “Peter ‘Ski’ Oblamski<\/em> deserves mention, because it’s his birthday, and I know he’d be too modest to mention it himself.” – Derek Tagliarino
\nMighty Squirrels:<\/strong> Rachel “A-Korn” Greene<\/em> took one of Martin’s shots in the crotch, and her reaction was “Ow! That’s my s%@#&!” Craig was unvailable for comment.
\nRehabs:<\/strong> Kami Moore<\/em> showed up to support the team, despite being on crutches.
\nSky Fighters:<\/strong> “Rob [Kucera]<\/em> held the offense together, had like forty shots, and looks good because he lost the ponytail.” – A. Lott
\nTuques:<\/strong> Ken Rosenkrantz<\/em>, normally a defenseman, earned his first win in goal.
\nUnicorns:<\/strong> Craig (“Ug”)<\/em> kept the score as low as it was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What’s With the Dalai Lama Picture? \u00a0 2008 BTSH Ladies All-Star Party from Erik Price (filmed by Len Guinto) on Vimeo. \u00a0 Three Wheels Are Better Than Two Just prior to the start of the Women’s All-Star Game, the (potentially) First Annual BTSH Tricycle Race commenced, as all five entrants chugged\u00a0a beer to determine which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[10,44,61,42,83],"class_list":["post-297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-2008-season","tag-amy-lott","tag-coop","tag-news-and-notes","tag-tricycles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=297"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":415,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297\/revisions\/415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}