![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/chrisguapo.jpg\" "\\"Chris")
<\/a><\/p>\nGAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong> LBS, Inc. (6-6-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (7-4-0-2)<\/strong> Unicorns (4-8) at Filthy Gorgeous (8-4-0-1)<\/strong> Denim Demons (12-1) at Butchers (4-5-0-4)<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n Gut Rot (4-7-0-2) at Poutine Machine (4-7-0-1)<\/strong> Fresh Kills (8-4-0-1) at Mega Touch (4-8-1)<\/strong> Tompkins Square Riots (6-6-1) at Cobra Kai (7-6)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)<\/strong> (Total points in parentheses)<\/p>\n (10) John Meyer* (DR):<\/strong> Michelle Doucet (WTP), Gavin Kearney (CH), Mike Pereira (DD) *John wanted to note the following in conjunction with his picks:<\/p>\n I want a shout out for integrity. I know I’m facing Karsten and Ken. I know everyone trying to catch me is going to take one of them.\u00a0I’ve taken one of them myself,\u00a0every week.\u00a0I know that they are both tied for 2nd in the league with 14 goals each. But I am not picking either one of them. Because I could “help my own cause” in fantasy if we were to get down early in our game.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Chris Doesn’t Like Being Touched GAME OF THE WEEK Happy Little Elves (6-4-0-3) at Sky Fighters (7-5-0-1) Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM All-Time Series: Tied 1-1 Game Notes: With only a point separating first from fourth in the Hackett Division standings, tensions will be high in Saturday’s clash between the Happy Little Elves and Sky […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[132,30,14,308],"class_list":["post-3343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2010-season","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-sky-fighters","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3343"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3343"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3360,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3343\/revisions\/3360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nHappy Little Elves (6-4-0-3) at Sky Fighters (7-5-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> With only a point separating first from fourth in the Hackett Division standings, tensions will be high in Saturday’s clash between the Happy Little Elves and Sky Fighters.\u00a0 Although the Elves have performed decently this season and are still in a good position to win the division, co-captain Rich Glanzer believes the team is still playing well below its potential.\u00a0 The Elves currently boast the most goals on the season, but they have also allowed the most.\u00a0 Thus, after months of in-depth analysis, film study, and computer simulations, Glanzer has concluded, “I’ve determined that it’s our team defense that has been the problem…So I’ve created what I am calling, ‘The Elves Team Defense Initiative!!'”\u00a0 To help the league understand this complex project, Glanzer has provided this primitive sketch<\/a> of his plan.\u00a0 He adds, “From now on, I’ve instructed all Elves to play better defensively, and stop giving up scoring chances.\u00a0 I’ve also instructed our goalie not to let the puck in as much.”\u00a0 After viewing Glanzer’s diagram, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper seemed unconcerned about this initiative.\u00a0 Hopper commented, “According to the sketch, it seems like the Elves want to have six players on the court.\u00a0 Last I checked, that was still illegal in BTSH.”\u00a0 Hopper also wanted to remind the league of the “Sky Fighters Defensive Initiative,” which is simply Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka playing defense for 50 minutes.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. While Glanzer’s artistic skills are limited, his coaching abilities should not be underrated.\u00a0 When these teams last met in Week 19 of the 2009 season, Glanzer called a late timeout with the score tied.\u00a0 During this break, he diagrammed the game-winning play, which not only clinched the Elves victory, but also preserved his place in the Survivor Pool.
\n2. Since the media uncovered Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s secret play<\/a> for the Sky Fighters in 2008, a curse has befallen each of his teammates in the diagram.\u00a0 Four separate incidents have caused Samantha Lee, Amy Lott, Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker, and James Townsend-Butterworth to leave the team, leaving Cejka as the only player who is still on the team.\u00a0 Thus, it may be only a matter of time before the Czech superstar is forced to leave for one reason or another.
\n3. With the Elves’ talented, yet sluggish, defender Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri expected to miss this week’s game due to a broomball tournament, it will be up to the hobbled Glanzer to bring down the average speed of the team.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Sky Fighters.\u00a0 Dan Hopper’s strategy actually works.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Happy Little Elves.\u00a0 Maybe the refs won’t notice the extra player.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 Barnacles.\u00a0 With the Dark Rainbows facing a very hot LBS, Inc., the winner of this game could be the division leader at the end of the day.<\/p>\n
\nWritten by John Meyer (Dark Rainbows)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 7-5-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> John is competing in a Boggle tournament in Akron, Ohio.\u00a0 Preview coming soon…
\n<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n
\nWritten by Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (Corlears Hookers)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous leads 3-1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Dustin is performing a staged reading of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room<\/em>.\u00a0 Preview coming soon…
\n<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n
\nWritten by Ben Bloom (Butchers)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Because of Ken’s rant at the DC meeting last week, I thought I would talk about LBS, Inc. \u00a0My favorite LBS, Inc. moment was the [Mexican] Standoff Beach Day, where we decided to not show up for the game versus LBS, Inc. \u00a0If there was ever a team that I would do this to again it’s the Demons. \u00a0But since we enjoy playing hockey, I guess we’ll show up. \u00a0Another good LBS, Inc. memory is when Standoff wore white, forcing LBS, Inc. to break out “alt” jerseys. \u00a0As the home team, the Butchers will be wearing our Maroon jerseys. \u00a0We also will proceed to yell at each other during the game and be total assholes to each other, because playing ball hockey is fun!
\nBen’s Pick:<\/strong> LBS, Inc.
\n <\/strong>Watchability: <\/strong>Twelve-teen<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Dan “D.O.” Owens (Filthy Gorgeous)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Poutine Machine leads 1-0
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Just one standings-point and possession of the MacNeil Division basement separate Gut Rot and Poutine Machine when they clash this Saturday in their last regular season matchup of the 2010 season.\u00a0 While both teams are keen at the opportunity to snap multi-game losing streaks,\u00a0 fans worry that non-gameplay related circumstances will factor into the result.\u00a0 Gut Rot team doctors are expected to closely monitor vital signs, as players face the adversity of operating for the first time this season without the conditioning of consecutive, unfettered drinking nights prior to the start of the game.\u00a0 Meanwhile, Poutine Machine continues to battle off-ice scrutiny, as Captain Patrick “Sven” Larsen will undoubtedly face enduring criticism from Francophone members of the media for coaching players in English during a timeout in Machine’s 2-1 OT loss to Mega Touch on August 8. A regulation loss eliminates Poutine Machine from MacNeil Division Championship contention.
\nDan\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Year of the Pitcher pervades to the black top: Gut Rot by 1 and someone throws a no-hitter.
\nWatchability: <\/strong>3.5 out of 5 Generous Expansion Team Stars<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Christopher DiMotta (Gut Rot)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Fresh Kills leads 7-2
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Two teams with inverted win\/loss records square off on the blacktop looking to secure very different goals. The first place Fresh Kills of the Donohue Division boast an 8-4-0-1 record and are poised to keep their annual semifinal appearance intact. Although many feared that preseason departures of some veteran players would hinder their efforts, they have managed to maintain their winning form. Their opponent, Mega Touch of the MacNeil Division, is currently 4-8-1 and is hoping to breakaway from a standings quagmire. With all 5 MacNeil Division teams tightly packed together, a win would be a huge lift and improve Touch’s playoff seeding at the end of the season.
\nChristopher’s Pick:<\/strong> Although a quick game of Mega Touch \u201cPuck Shots\u201d had me pulling for the underdog, it doesn\u2019t look good for the guys in gray. Their best hope for a win may be a lackadaisical Fresh Kills effort (who get caught looking past them on the schedule) combined with a miscalculated pre-game beer prep by the Fresh Kills goalie. In the end, the brothers Soko expose their opponents’ -20 goal differential and come away with the win.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2 \u00bd Puck Shots<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Abby “Tayne” Meisterman (Denim Demons)<\/em>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Boasting similar records within their respective divisions, conference mates TSP Riots and Cobra Kai are meeting for the first time in BTSH history. This is, of course, due to the fact that the Riots are still a fledgling team. But their roster isn’t full of newbies and this is what should give the Dojo pause. Old-timers like Amy Jones, B.R. Royla, Scott Townsend, and Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg joined the Riots in an effort to return to the easy-going, beer-swilling sensibility of the early years of BTSH. In stark contrast, the Dojo contains members Will Kuhns, known for his hot-headed approach to everything, Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito, and Mark Talercio. We all know what happens when hot meets cool: luke-warm water.
\nAbby’s Pick:<\/strong> OT-SO Draw — these teams are on rather even footing.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 Mirmen (the plural of Mirman, obviously)<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nCorlears Hookers (9-3) at Rehabs (7-5-0-1)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Corlears Hookers lead 4-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> With only 3 games left in the regular season (barring some kind of bullshit make-up game trickeration by the BTSH ruling junta), the race is on for playoff positioning. The top 12 teams in the league get a bye into the round of 16, leaving the remaining 8 teams to scrap it out for 4 spots in the Big Dance. The Hookers control their own playoff seeding fate, with 18 points looking like a lock to give them a high position, and a win this week would lock up second place in the Rubens Division. The Rehabs are in a Hackett Division second-place 3-way with the Skyfighters and Elves, and could really use a W this week. Otherwise, they might find themselves having to scrap for a win on October 3 with the other have-nots while the league’s upper crust goes on a warmup bender.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Hookers by 1.5
\nJesse the Greek says: <\/strong>Rehabs have more to play for this week. Take the points. <\/strong>
\nWatchability: <\/strong>4.5 cans of Billy Beer
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nMathematics (6-5-0-2) at What The Puck (7-5)<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> What The Puck leads 5-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Arguably the hottest team in the league right now (other than the Demons…yawn), the Mathematics have won 5 straight and are now in first place in the MacNeil Division. Say what? Once-mighty What the Puck, meanwhile, has lost their last 5 and find themselves adrift on the sea of mediocrity. They still have a shot at one of the top 3 spots in the Rubens Division, but need to win and get some help.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Pick-em
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Ride the hot hand. Mathematics.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 corn dogs<\/p>\nBTSH Fantasy Pool<\/h4>\n
\n(10) James Stein (Sky):<\/strong> Mike Pereira (DD), Karsten Pichon (LBS), Jo-Ann Provencher (PM)
\n(9) Rich Glanzer (HLE):<\/strong> Gavin Kearney (CH), Courtney McBride (HLE), Larry Zimmer (WTP)
\n(8) Eli Kazin (Math):<\/strong> Denis Miciletto (LF), James Pereira (FG), Noelle Safar (CH)
\n(8) Dan \u201cD.O.\u201d Owens (FG):<\/strong> Caroline Currie (FG), Mike Pereira (DD), Justin Ross (FK)
\n(7) Derek Tagliarino (Math):<\/strong> Caroline Currie (FG), Gavin Kearney (CH), Scott (GR)
\n(6) Eric Devlin (MT):<\/strong> Patrik Blohm\u00e9 (TSR), Julie Katz (MT), Sunny Mehra (FG)
\n(6) Gavin \u201cDutch\u2019s Brother\u201d Kearney (CH):<\/strong> Trevor Beauclair (HLE), Caroline Currie (FG), Brendan Kearney (CH)
\n(6) Patrick \u201cSven\u201d Larsen (PM):<\/strong> Haanwa Chau (GR), Alex Doucette (Reh), James Pereira (FG)
\n(5) Monica Russo (FG):<\/strong> Gavin Kearney (CH), Dana Kravis (FG), Zack Tinkelman (DD)
\n(4) Adam \u201cLegend Killer\u201d Rubens (DD):<\/strong> Mike Pereira (DD), Karsten Pichon (LBS), Jo-Ann Provencher (PM)
\n(3) \u201cThe Chairman\u201d Ben Chadwick (HLE):<\/strong> Trevor Beauclair (HLE), Caroline Currie (FG), Zack Tinkelman (DD)<\/p>\n