{"id":348,"date":"2008-07-17T22:38:42","date_gmt":"2008-07-18T03:38:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/?p=348"},"modified":"2008-07-19T13:46:45","modified_gmt":"2008-07-19T18:46:45","slug":"week-12-preview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/week-12-preview\/","title":{"rendered":"Week 12 Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"

This Rivarly Is Brought To You By The Letter S<\/em><\/h4>\n

\"Hector\"<\/a><\/p>\n

GAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong>
\nRehabs\u00a0(6-3-1-1) vs. Denim Demons (6-0-2-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South, 5:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong>\u00a0Rehabs lead 6-4-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>This game represents one of the most storied and bitter rivalries across all of BTSH, as both teams are very open about their dislike for one another.\u00a0 The combative history begins with their original meeting in 1932, when Rehabs captain Sean “Nine Toes” O’Malley scored the game winning goal in octuple overtime in a game featuring\u00a0more than\u00a0100 minutes of penalties.\u00a0 The next series milestone occurred in 1966 when Demons prankster Lisa “Moonbeam” Williams laced the Rehabs pre-game meal with LSD.\u00a0 Tensions boiled over again in 2003, when the Demons changed their color scheme to the Rehabs’ signature Red and Black, from their previous teal and fuchsia.\u00a0 Finally, just last season, when Rehabs schemer Jon Feldman discovered that the Demons were pre-emptively planning a celebratory dinner, he snuck into the team clubhouse (Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’s apartment) and smashed all of their fine China.\u00a0 This earned him the nickname, “Dinner Plate”.\u00a0 Fireworks are expected this Sunday when the rivalry continues.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. Rehabs defender Stacy Kehoe’s\u00a0high school class will be taking a field trip to watch this game on Sunday.\u00a0 She has promised them no homework on Monday if the Rehabs are victorious, so the fan support will be boisterous.
\n2. Upon further review, it’s summer, so ignore the previous note.
\n3.\u00a0But then again, she might teach summer school…see note one.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Rehabs.\u00a0 “Con” Ed Lau turns off the power at the Demons’ hotel, causing most of them to oversleep.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Denim Demons.\u00a0 Micael Holmstrom never sleeps.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Tuques (3-7) vs. Bad Touch (1-9-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo,\u00a02:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 5-5
\nGame Notes:\u00a0<\/strong>Tuques goalie Minkus and Bad Touch goalie Mike Tuckman have both agreed to play this game while wearing blindfolds.\u00a0 Oddly, the Vegas bookies have still set the over\/under at a scant 2.5 goals.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Tuques
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Tuques…and I’ll take the over.<\/p>\n

Sky Fighters (6-4) vs. LBS, Inc. (8-2-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North,\u00a03:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 6-2
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Sky Fighters star player Martin Cejka will be unable to play in this game, as he will be starring in a music video for Christina Aguilera on Sunday.\u00a0 Some rumors speculate that the two had a brief fling in 2003, but these are unconfirmed.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> LBS, Inc.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> LBS, Inc.<\/p>\n

Unicorns (6-5) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (7-3-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South,\u00a03:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-0-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous is feeling extra litigious this week, as the entire team has been helping Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon prepare for his bar exam on Tuesday.\u00a0 Consequently, captain Monica Russo has petitioned the league to disqualify the Unicorns from playing in this game, as she feels they will be unable to remain objective in determining a winner.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous.\u00a0 Good luck to Paul on Tuesday, as he goes from ashy to lawyerly.<\/p>\n

Gouging Anklebiters (2-9) vs. Mexican Standoff (1-7-2-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo, 3:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Gouging Anklebiters lead 7-3
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>After the “crack at Corlears’s” stellar performance last week, Mexican Standoff head honcho Jefferson Hendricks signed it to a lucrative multi-year deal.\u00a0 However, due to previously existing contractual obligations, the crack cannot leave the Corlears Hook Park premises to join its new team at Moffo.\u00a0 Plus, the crack has no legs, so how’s it going to get there?
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Gouging Anklebiters.\u00a0 Phil would have filled in the crack with sand anyway.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Gouging Anklebiters<\/p>\n

Cobra Kai (3-7-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (7-3-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North,\u00a04:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows lead 2-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Inspired by the movie, PCU<\/em>, the Dark Rainbows recently added a new player to their roster: a scrappy Labrador Retriever named “Blotter”.\u00a0 Never one to be outdone, Cobra Kai captain Peter Oblamski added that dog from Air Bud<\/em>.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Dark Rainbows<\/p>\n

Mathematics (3-8) vs. What The Puck (8-2-0-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears South,\u00a04:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> What The Puck leads 2-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>With all of the Mathematics players receiving their hockey training at The Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer School Of Hockey and Southern Cuisine<\/em> in Islip, Long Island, it will be difficult for them to pull any surprises on the cagey veteran.\u00a0 However, even Zimmer admits that no one can match Sarah Coombs’s Brunswick stew<\/a>\u00a0(which is awesome!).<\/p>\n

Fresh Kills (5-5-0-1) vs. Happy Little Elves (1-9-1)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Moffo,\u00a04:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> First Meeting
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>After a less than impressive start to the season, Fresh Kills has won four of their last five games and are beginning to look like the playoff contender they were last season.\u00a0 There must be something in the water in FK-land, as even Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg chipped in a goal last week.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Happy Little Elves…no, I’m just kidding.\u00a0 I’ll take Fresh Kills.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Fresh Kills.\u00a0 No goals for Bob in this one, but he will have several “close” shots (read as: within\u00a020 feet of\u00a0the net).<\/p>\n

Corlears Hookers (9-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-0-3)
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears North,\u00a05:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series: <\/strong>Corlears Hookers lead 1-0
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>Although the Mighty Squirrels appear to be one of the model franchises of BTSH, there\u00a0seem to be some skeletons in their proverbial closet.\u00a0 While researching his upcoming opponent this week, Corlears Hookers PR Representative Albert “Al” Huang uncovered documentation that alleges recruiting violations by Squirrels captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene.\u00a0 Huang has submitted papers to the league office, which he claims clearly demonstrate the transfer of a car from Squirrels boosters to Al Sansoni.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 Fake Dutch lives in my building.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 With the rise of these allegations, the Squirrels’ focus will definitely be elsewhere.<\/p>\n

All-Star Game:<\/strong> West vs. East<\/strong>
\nLocation: <\/strong>Corlears Hook Park, 6:00 PM
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> With extreme residential pride at stake, this All-Star Game promises to be one of the most intense in the history of BTSH.\u00a0 The West’s “Foreign Exchange” of Micael Holmstrom (Denim Demons) and Martin Cejka (Mathematics) who can both score from anywhere on the court highlights their loaded defense.\u00a0 In addition,\u00a0two-time arm-wrestling champion Amy Kovner (Gouging Anklebiters) will add an intimidation factor to\u00a0this fearsome squad.\u00a0 The East features\u00a0lethal scoring threats Adriano Bratta (Cobra Kai) and Eric Devlin (Bad Touch), while\u00a0Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (Corlears Hookers)\u00a0and Marie “Injury Waiting to Happen” Marberg (Mighty Squirrels) anchor their rock solid defense.\u00a0\u00a0The team will also\u00a0be co-coached by one of the most devious minds the league has ever seen in the Denim Demons’ Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens, who\u00a0has vowed to make his team swim home should they lose.\u00a0 If they win, he will give each of them a free single use Metrocard to ride the subway (or bus).<\/p>\n

Media Records:
\nEli:<\/strong> 59-27
\nDerek:<\/strong> 56-30<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Rivarly Is Brought To You By The Letter S GAME OF THE WEEK Rehabs\u00a0(6-3-1-1) vs. Denim Demons (6-0-2-1) Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM All-Time Series:\u00a0Rehabs lead 6-4-1 Game Notes: This game represents one of the most storied and bitter rivalries across all of BTSH, as both teams are very open about their dislike for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[47,10,100,66,29,308],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-howtm3","tag-2008-season","tag-all-star-game","tag-legend-killer","tag-rehabs","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}