![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/lock.jpg\" "\\"lock\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nAs the BTSH collective bargaining agreement between team owners and players nears its expiration date, pundits have begun to talk seriously about a potential work stoppage.<\/p>\n
Before signing a new agreement, team owners are pushing for four major changes. First, they want to extend the BTSH regular season by an additional two games. In exchange, pre-season scrimmages would be eliminated. Second, they would like a rookie wage scale. This would basically be known as the “Nick Hobbs Provision,” as Fresh Kills was forced to sign Hobbs to one of BTSH’s most lucrative contracts before he even played a game. As a result, his compensation has crippled their salary cap maneuverability for several seasons.\u00a0 Third, the owners demand a greater share of all league revenue. Tensions on this matter intensified when league manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta arrived at Tompkins Square Park in Week 1 driving his new Maserati. Fourth, owners would like to repeal players’ bonuses for breaches of contracts. This issue came up recently after noted Mathematics defender Justin “Ballard” Perras missed his team’s game last week, which violated the terms of his contract.<\/p>\n
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The players, however, are generally happy with the current agreement and don’t see the need for any changes. They are against adding additional games, as any extra weeks would most likely be scheduled during the month of August, when temperatures regularly push 90 degrees. Dark Rainbows player representative and goalie John Meyer notes, “I can’t wear my goalie gear in such intense heat. It’s brutal.\u00a0 Those conditions aren’t safe!” In addition, the players feel that owners are already getting enough revenue through the league’s multiple broadcasting contracts. Mike Haas from Poutine Machine explains, “The Hockey Night in Tompkins contract already makes them a ton of money. We get nothing. It’s modern-day slavery, you know?” Finally, the players feel that owners can do more to take care of retired league members. Former Fresh Kills co-captain and current Riots representative Amy Jones comments, “‘Hollywood’ Jeff Lesser was once the quickest, most exciting player in the league. Now, he can’t stand up without aid. Do the owners care? Not at all.”<\/p>\n
Interestingly, there is a small movement led by Rich Glanzer and comprised entirely of Happy Little Elves to delay contract negotiations to the point of canceling the 2011 season, including the playoffs. Glanzer is operating under the misguided impression that should the season be canceled, the 2011 championship would be awarded to the previous season’s champion, which happens to be the Happy Little Elves.<\/p>\n
Three Stars of the Week<\/h4>\n
Third Star:<\/strong> Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, La Famiglia<\/em>.\u00a0 Ventolieri scored his first goal since Week 5 of the 2008 season, a gap of 1,060 days.\u00a0 Although we cannot verify it, this span most likely represents the record for longest time period between goals in BTSH. This year, due to a series of stupid bets made by Happy Little Elves goalie Shaun deLacy, the media will track his goals against average over the course of the regular season.<\/em><\/p>\n Goals Allowed This Week:<\/strong> 4 (vs. Tompkins Square Riots) Despite recording the win for the Elves, deLacy allowed four goals to the previously goalless Tompkins Square Riots.\u00a0 This week, he faces the traditionally high-powered offense of What The Puck.\u00a0 Although WTP hasn’t posted overwhelming numbers as of yet this season, the team has the talent and depth to erupt in any given game.<\/p>\n \n Name:<\/strong> Shaun deLacy Will There Be A\u00a0 Lockout? As the BTSH collective bargaining agreement between team owners and players nears its expiration date, pundits have begun to talk seriously about a potential work stoppage. Before signing a new agreement, team owners are pushing for four major changes. First, they want to extend the BTSH regular season by an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[153,30,42],"class_list":["post-3733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-2011-season","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-news-and-notes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3733"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3733"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3733\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10199,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3733\/revisions\/10199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSecond Star:<\/strong> Corey “Chongo” Winters, What The Puck<\/em>.\u00a0 With his team’s first (Anthony Romeo), second (Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz), and third (everyone else on the team) string goalies all unable to play, Winters stepped up as WTP’s emergency keeper to record the win against Gut Rot.\u00a0 He allowed only two goals, bringing his career goals against average down to 4.00.
\nFirst Star:<\/strong> Ali Corsi, Mathematics<\/em>.\u00a0 Corsi scored twice in the first 10 minutes of the Mathematics’ 4-1 win against the Butchers.\u00a0 Her goals set the tone for the entire game, allowing Math to win its first game of the season.<\/p>\nShaun deLacy GAA Watch<\/h4>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nGoals Allowed Previously:<\/strong> 3
\nGames Played:<\/strong> 2
\nGoals Against Average:<\/strong> 3.50
\n Next Opponent:<\/strong> What The Puck (3.00 goals per game)<\/p>\nKnow Your Neighbor<\/h4>\n
\nTeam:<\/strong> Happy Little Elves
\nSuggested Nickname: <\/strong>Sieve
\nRejected Nicknames:<\/strong> Wickets, Five Hole, Red Light, Swiss Cheese
\nOrigin:<\/strong> Mount Laurel Township, NJ
\nCollege:<\/strong> Columbia University
\nQuote:<\/strong> “Not to brag, but…”
\nFirst Job:<\/strong> Circus barker
\nCurrent Job:<\/strong> Physicist
\nEarly Accomplishments: <\/strong>Hitting his first home run in the Mount Laurel little league’s 1994 championship game, despite having six passed balls as his team’s catcher
\nCurrent Accomplishments:<\/strong> Getting ejected from a Zog Sports indoor floor hockey game
\n <\/strong>Hero:<\/strong> Shaun deLacy
\nReason to Love Him:<\/strong> Ask him, and he’ll tell you
\nReason to Hate Him:<\/strong> He exhibits all of the characteristics of the quintessential Philadelphia sports fan
\nBest Known For:<\/strong> Actually paying attention during the 2010 playoffs and helping the Elves win their championship
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> While at Columbia, Shaun filled the role of the school’s mascot, Roar-ee the Lion<\/a>
\nFavorite Things:<\/strong> Phish, Philadelphia Flyers, Wawa, himself
\nFavorite Tastykake:<\/strong> Butterscotch Krimpets<\/a>
\nLeast Favorite Things:<\/strong> <\/em>Dallas Cowboys, Santa Claus, referees, Rich Glanzer
\nHockey Comparison:<\/strong> Ron Hextall<\/a>
\nNon-Hockey Comparison:<\/strong> Freddie “FredEx” Mitchell
\nThings The Media Will Continue to Overhype About Him:<\/strong> He bet us he’d finish with a goals against average under 2.5.
\nDown the Road:<\/strong> Shaun finishes the 2011 regular season with a 3.39 GAA.\u00a0 As a result, he loses bets with both Rich Glanzer and the media for allowing more than 2 and 2.5 goals per game, respectively.\u00a0 However, he wins one bet against Glanzer for finishing with a higher GAA than Glanzer has goals (which is two).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"