Key Losses:<\/strong> “Old School” Mike Ross<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
After a string of terrible publicity due to a 2010 hazing investigation, the Gouging Anklebiters were forced to find a buyer to take over the team this offseason.\u00a0 Captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue immediately sought out the help and backing of his long time friend, Sascha Puritz, who had slowly risen to the rank of LBS, Inc. CEO.\u00a0 Together, along with LBS, Inc. Director of Mergers and Acquisitions, Fernando Limonic, the two teams reached an agreement amenable to both parties.\u00a0 In exchange for bailing the ‘Biters out of their financial woes, LBS, Inc. would effectively own any potential championships and awards the Anklebiters might accrue.<\/p>\n
Now under the umbrella of the LBS corporation, the Gouging Anklebiters have been forced to follow all company policies and procedures.\u00a0 Most notably, this meant that all potential recruits had to fill out an involved application before joining the team.\u00a0 Questions included “Scoring or drinking?” and “You’re on death row.\u00a0 How’d you get there?\u00a0 What’s your last meal?”\u00a0 All applications were then reviewed by a distinguished panel consisting of Donohue himself, assistant captain Amy Barrett, Sarah Moore, Zach “Cryme Tyme” Weiner, and Gut Rot’s Jefferson.<\/p>\n
With several new hires now on the team, the Gouging Anklebiters hope to improve upon last season’s 5-11 record, which earned them last place in the Donohue Division and a demotion to the MacNeil Division.<\/p>\n
Entity They Resemble, According to Rich Glanzer:<\/strong> Gandhi<\/em>. You can\u2019t argue what a great guy Mahatma is\/was, but he never concentrated enough on hockey. And neither do the Anklebiters. They take the sports out of social sports.
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> Today is Sarah Moore’s birthday.\u00a0 Happy birthday, Sarah!<\/p>\nROSTER<\/strong>
\nAmy Barrett (A)
\nZoya Craig
\nCharles DeFranco
\nAlex Derhohannesian
\nMike Diverio
\nPhil “Sandy” Donohue (C)
\nNick Gardella
\nJen Harlan
\nSarah Moore
\nCaroline Morrisey-Bickerton
\nSteve Muller
\nNestor “Marmaduke” Nonato
\n“Quiet” Mike O’Connor (A)
\nAlex Owen
\nZack Papper
\nPeter “Geech” Prohaska
\nAnnika
\nZach “Cryme Tyme” Weiner<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Phil’s Seeking A Bailout Color: Dark Blue Year Founded: 2001 2010 Regular Season Finish: 5-11 (5th, Donohue Division; 19th overall) 2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Unicorns in opening round Conference: Schumacher Division: MacNeil 2010 Leading Scorer: Alex Derhohannesian, 12 goals Team Song: Kenny Loggins – Footloose Key Additions: Steve Muller (free agency), Zack Papper (free […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[154],"tags":[153,21,18],"class_list":["post-3787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2011-team-previews","tag-2011-season","tag-gouging-anklebiters","tag-team-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3787"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3787"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4040,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3787\/revisions\/4040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/BitersPreview.jpg\" "\\"Gouging")
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