![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/09\/alphamale.jpg\" "\\"Alpha")
<\/a><\/p>\nSascha Was Too Embarrassed Even To Show Up<\/strong> The game proved as intense as one might expect with such a large payout, but LBS, Inc. eventually emerged victorious from the battle. The Alpha Male’s fiery (albeit, somewhat nonsensical) pre-game ramblings had actually motivated his team to go the extra mile. Following the game, the media presented him with a box of Crayola crayons featuring 64 different colors to honor his now famous rant. The Alpha Male claims he will continue to find ways to pump up his team as they prepare for a deep run in the playoffs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Why is Mike Sellers at The Johnson’s?<\/strong> Something Good About the Happy Little Elves<\/strong> Know Your Neighbors<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0 Name: <\/strong>Mike Woodsworth Captains’ Commendations:<\/strong><\/p>\n Bad Touch (1):<\/strong> Joe Lops<\/em> used his speed to create some scoring chances. Those Crayons Came All The Way From Easton, PA Sascha Was Too Embarrassed Even To Show Up In one of the marquee matchups of the day, a highly motivated LBS, Inc. defeated the Corlears Hookers and officially established themselves as the “white team” of BTSH. Although this game had important implications regarding playoff seeding, there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[10,95,30,42,107],"class_list":["post-395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-league-notes","tag-2008-season","tag-alpha-male","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-news-and-notes","tag-the-x-factor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=395"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1016,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions\/1016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nIn one of the marquee matchups of the day, a highly motivated LBS, Inc. defeated the Corlears Hookers and officially established themselves as the “white team” of BTSH. Although this game had important implications regarding playoff seeding, there was far more at stake between the two teams. As the self-proclaimed cleanest player in the league Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explained<\/a>\u00a0earlier this summer, “We’ve been wearing white since this league was initiated!” However, when the Corlears Hookers formed last season, they also adopted white as one of their primary team colors. Although the game had no formal stakes to it, it was clear that the winner would be perceived as the top “white team” of BTSH.<\/p>\n
\nDespite Sunday’s lovely weather and the return of meaningful BTSH hockey, several league members were noticeably absent from their games, opting instead to cheer on their favorite football teams. Fresh Kills’ heart and soul “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser missed not one, but two, games to root for his beloved Miami Dolphins. The Sky Fighters were without captain Amy Lott who, according to her teammates, was more than likely “too drunk from the Bengals game to even bother showing up.” Ironically, known Redskins hooligan Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette was present this weekend (potentially to the chagrin of Mexican Standoff). It remains to be seen whether this trend will continue as BTSH hits the home stretch.<\/p>\n
\nThe Happy Little Elves do not<\/span> make fun of the elderly.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n
\nTeam:<\/strong> What The Puck
\nNickname:<\/strong> The X-Factor
\nSuggested Nickname:<\/strong> Woody
\nRejected Nicknames: <\/strong>The Mountie, Mikey, Molson, Le Fleur, Chongo
\nOrigin: <\/strong>Montr\u00e9al, QC
\nCollege:<\/strong> University of Canada (they only have one)
\nEarly Aspirations: <\/strong>To be the starting punter for the Montr\u00e9al Alouettes.
\nReason to Love Him:<\/strong> He hails from the tenth cleanest city in the world, so we assume he’s\u00a0environmentally friendly.
\nReason to Hate Him:<\/strong> He’ll scold you for littering.
\nBest Known For:<\/strong> His ironically colored red, white, and blue headband
\nFirst Job:<\/strong> Fact checker for La Presse<\/a><\/em>
\nFavorite Vacation Spot:<\/strong> Saskatchewan (seriously)
\nFast Fact:<\/strong> Mike is the national pineapple eating champion of Canada.
\nFavorite Things:<\/strong> Canada, The Expos, snow storms, “Hale” storms, curling, Les FrancoFolies de Montr\u00e9al<\/a>
\nHero: <\/strong>Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer
\nFavorite TV Show:<\/strong> You Can’t Do That on Television<\/a><\/em>
\nHockey Comparison: <\/strong>Vincent Damphousse
\nNon-Hockey Comparison:<\/strong> Gatorade<\/a>
\nReason the Media Will Continue to Overhype Him:<\/strong> Canadian jokes are easy, and the writers get lazy (see below).
\nDown the Road: <\/strong>With increasing jingoist tensions among the ranks of What The Puck, the team finally fractures in 2011 into an English Canadian team and a French Canadian team. Mike assumes control of the French Canadian side, now named Ce Que La Rondelle, which also includes original WTPers Celine Dujeux, Brian Vroom, and Michelle Doucet. Since Quebec annexes Philadelphia in 2009, he also claims Kevin Lutsky. Corey “Chongo” Winters takes control over the English side, retaining most of the original team and the name What The Puck. Team cancer Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri is left off of both teams and forced to join the Happy Little Elves. In the inaugural battle between the English and French sides, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer scores the game-winning goal for the English Canadians, forcing the French team to repatriot back into What The Puck. Ant is still left off the team.<\/p>\n
\nBad Touch (2):<\/strong> Greg Kellerman<\/em> stepped up from defense to center when Eric Devlin was “hurting” in the second half.
\nCobra Kai:<\/strong> Everyone who wore a Cobra Kai shirt<\/em>.
\nCorlears Hookers:<\/strong> The whole team<\/em> put up with various upper and lower body injuries.
\nDark Rainbows:<\/strong> John Meyer<\/em> returned to the league and took away Sean’s birthday commendation in the process.
\nDenim Demons:<\/strong> Brad Weiger<\/em> made a triumphant return from a category two hurricane<\/span> ankle sprain.
\nGouging Anklebiters:<\/strong> Shannon Voto<\/em> played “mad nice”.
\nHappy Little Elves:<\/strong> Ken Szeto<\/em> showed up…and played well. Rich Glanzer<\/em> had a nice assist…and played well.
\nFilthy Gorgeous:<\/strong> Homin “Maverick” Lee<\/em> shook off the rust in his first game in a while. Ali<\/em> played a great game as goalie in his first game with Filthy.
\nFresh Kills (1):<\/strong> This was Stephanie Feder’s<\/em> first ever hockey game.
\nFresh Kills (2):<\/strong> Caroline Currie<\/em> and Amy Jones<\/em> both played the entire game.
\nLBS, Inc.:<\/strong> “Seth [Wachtell]<\/em>was two goals away from a shutout.” – Fernando Limonic
\nMathematics:<\/strong> Sheena Otto<\/em> defeated her rival former team, despite an obvious bounty on her head.
\nMighty Squirrels:<\/strong> Eric Breitman<\/em> stepped into the net and\u00a0had a great game.
\nRehabs:<\/strong> “Gina Hackett<\/em>. A lot of players in BTSH can drink a ton of beer. A lot can play great ball. Few do it at the same time.” – Bryan “Stork” Welch
\nSky Fighters:<\/strong> “Jen [Nelson]<\/em> and Megan [Sigesmund]<\/em> showed up and played better than most of us have all season.” – Dan Hopper
\nTuques:<\/strong> Lisa Harrington<\/em> fought off a bad head cold to keep her team from being shorthanded.
\nUnicorns:<\/strong> Craig “Ug” LaCombe<\/em> kept the Unicorns in the game.
\nWhat The Puck:<\/strong> Susanna Tenney<\/em> biked sixty miles to the court at “sixty miles an hour, eighty on the freeway.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"