![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.btsh.org\/bruise\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ElvesCup.jpg\" "\\"ElvesCup\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nGAME OF THE WEEK<\/strong> <\/p>\n La Famiglia at Cobra Kai<\/strong> Dark Rainbows at Sky Fighters<\/strong> What The Puck at Fresh Kills<\/strong> Denim Demons at LBS, Inc.<\/strong> Mathematics at Poutine Machine<\/strong> Tompkins Square Riots at Unicorns<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous at Rehabs<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)<\/strong> HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (Regional Telecast)<\/strong> The Elves Are Set To Defend The Cup GAME OF THE WEEK Corlears Hookers at Happy Little Elves Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-2 Game Notes: As has become tradition in BTSH, the two championship game participants will square off in a Week 1 rematch.\u00a0 This year, the Happy Little […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[153,26,30,308],"class_list":["post-3997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-previews","tag-2011-season","tag-corlears-hookers","tag-happy-little-elves","tag-weekly-previews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3997"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3997"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4052,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3997\/revisions\/4052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.miyagimedia.com\/bruise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n <\/strong>Corlears Hookers at Happy Little Elves<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Corlears Hookers lead 3-2
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> As has become tradition in BTSH, the two championship game participants will square off in a Week 1 rematch.\u00a0 This year, the Happy Little Elves enter as the defending champions, while–as has become another tradition–the Corlears Hookers enter as the runner-up.\u00a0 Little has changed on the Elves’ roster during the offseason, as their leading scorers Trevor Beauclair and Gil Valdez are both returning.\u00a0 The team may appear a little faster this season, however, as team anchor Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri has moved to Oklahoma City.\u00a0 Team captain Rich Glanzer has been appointed by team captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick as the new team anchor.\u00a0 Like the Elves, the Corlears Hookers also had few significant losses.\u00a0 In addition, the team is thrilled to welcome back two former superstars in Jock Paul and Noelle “Slapshot” Safar.\u00a0 The presence of these two players was sorely missed during the championship game, as the duo has been known to strike fear into the hearts of even the calmest of\u00a0 goaltenders.\u00a0 League Nostradamus Rich Glanzer has projected that these two teams are the favorites to win the championship at the end of the season.\u00a0 Although we are literally months away from the playoffs, both teams would certainly like to energize their season with a key win on Opening Day.
\nKeys To The Game:<\/strong>
\n1. Elves brunette sophomore Ryan Nakahara tallied two goals in last season’s championship, giving him four for the playoffs.\u00a0 The Elves will once again need him to come through in the clutch if they wish to win this game.
\n2.\u00a0 After missing several games last season, Hookers forward and co-captain Jason Eitel has vowed to have perfect attendance in 2011.\u00a0 He has also vowed to pass a lot more, but the media do not believe either of these promises.
\n3. In the above photo, Glanzer is seen sporting a New York Jets t-shirt and a Buffalo Bills cap.\u00a0 This Sunday, in another show of split loyalties and potential confusion, he plans to wear a Corlears Hookers cap in addition to his usual lime green Elves jersey.
\nEli\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Corlears Hookers.\u00a0 They are undefeated (4-0) on Opening Day.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Happy Little Elves.\u00a0 The team is eager to prove that last year’s playoff run and championship were not flukes.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4.5 deLacys. If this game were later in the season with a little more riding on it, it could be a 5.\u00a0 For now, however, it should just be a very competitive game.<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 12:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Cobra Kai leads 4-2
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Cobra Kai swept a two-game set with La Famiglia last year, winning 3-1 on Opening Day and 2-1 in Week 11.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> La Famiglia.\u00a0 They finished strong in 2010, winning their final seven games.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Cobra Kai.\u00a0 The Dojo’s addition of Anita Khar should really bolster the offense.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 deLacys<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Sky Fighters lead 6-4
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> These Hackett Division rivals faced off in a thrilling round of 16 matchup in the 2010 playoffs.\u00a0 Mike Dudolevitch of the Rainbows tied the game at one with just four minutes remaining in regulation, but Dan Lee sent the Sky Fighters into the quarterfinals by tallying the game-winner just one minute later.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Sky Fighters
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Sky Fighters
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 deLacys.\u00a0 If their 2010 playoff game was any indication, this should be another close affair.<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> What The Puck leads 9-6-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer had scheduled an elaborate, over-the-top celebration to take place prior to this game to formally introduce his new players Brock Bosacker, Alex Doucette, Anthony Romeo, and “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse.\u00a0 However, after carefully considering the overwhelmingly negative publicity generated by the elaborate, over-the-top celebration held to introduce LeBron James and Chris Bosh joining forces with Dwyane Wade on the Miami Heat, Zimmer decided to scrap these plans.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> What The Puck.\u00a0 This team is even more loaded than Zimmer’s much-hyped 2009 juggernaut.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> What The Puck.\u00a0 Mad Dog is working on adding Fresh Kills’ 2010 leading scorer Justin “The Boss” Ross, just to ensure the victory.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 2.5 deLacys<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> LBS, Inc. leads 9-1-1
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> Both of the scheduled games between the Denim Demons and LBS, Inc. last season were canceled due to “rain fears.”\u00a0 This is unlikely to happen for a third straight time, however, as Sunday’s forecast calls for partly cloudy skies with just a 20% chance of “rain fears.”
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> LBS, Inc.\u00a0 The Corporation seems to have the Demons’ number.
\nDerek\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Denim Demons.\u00a0 The Demons will want to get off on the right foot for their third straight Prince of Weyersberg Trophy.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 deLacys<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>These two teams split their season series last year.\u00a0 Poutine Machine won 2-1 in a shootout on Opening Day, which was the first win in team history.\u00a0 The Mathematics returned the favor with a 6-2 decision in Week 11.
\n<\/strong>Watchability:<\/strong> 2.5 deLacys.\u00a0 It’s exciting MacNeil Division hockey!<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 1-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>This Donohue Division battle pits two teams that faced off in the round of 16 of last season’s playoffs.\u00a0 The Riots rallied from a late second half deficit with two goals in the final three minutes, securing a 3-2 victory and a spot in the quarterfinals.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Unicorns
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Unicorns
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3.5 deLacys.\u00a0 This game will feature the team promoted into the Donohue Division (Riots) and the team demoted into the division (Unicorns).<\/p>\n
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Tied 3-3
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>These teams last squared off in Week 3 of the 2010 season, when Filthy Gorgeous defeated the Rehabs 4-1.\u00a0 Suvin “The Guru” Malik led Filthy’s offensive attack with two goals.
\nEli\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> Filthy Gorgeous
\nDerek\u2019s Pick: <\/strong>Filthy Gorgeous.\u00a0 With a roster half filled with new players, this could be a rebuilding year for the ‘Habs.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 deLacys<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nButchers at Gut Rot<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Gut Rot leads 1-0
\nGame Notes:<\/strong> The schedule-makers have staged an excellent Opening Day matchup for these two second-year BTSH franchises. Both teams had a mediocre 2010 regular season, but the Butchers became the league darlings after an epic run through the playoffs, knocking off the #1 and #2 seeds before losing in the semifinals, snatching respectability from the jaws of mediocrity. Expectations are clearly higher this year, and it is no small thing that on Opening Day, the Butchers unveil their key free agent acquisition, starting defenseman Chris \u201cCreamy\u201d DiMotta. DiMotta, of course, played for Gut Rot last year. At the Butchers\u2019 annual semi-formal dinner dance last week, Creamy recounted the conversation during which he broke the bad news to Gut Rot captain (and BTSH Gadfly) Jeff \u201cPeaches\u201d Hendricks. Peaches did not take it well, allegedly starting a YouTube-IHOP-style riot at Union Square\u2019s Heartland Brewery, repeatedly shouting, “I Ride the Ride!” and calling DiMotta a \u201cDirty Mister Number Two Poopy Pants.\u201d Sunday will be the first time the two men have spoken since.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Butchers by 2.5
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Take the points. The Butchers always start slow, and Gut Rot keeps it close in a revenge game.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 4 pairs of pull-ups<\/p>\n
\nWritten by Hockey Night in Tompkins Correspondent Jesse Kalb<\/em>
\nGouging Anklebiters at Mega Touch<\/strong>
\nLocation:<\/strong> Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
\nAll-Time Series:<\/strong> Mega Touch leads 6-5-1
\nGame Notes: <\/strong>If the photo accompanying the Anklebiters preview is any indication, this might be a rebuilding season for the Blue and Gold. Anonymous HNIT sources have questioned the commitment and focus of \u2018Biters captain Phil Donohue, citing reports that he spent the offseason scrapbooking celebrity collages from his prized collection of US Weeklys rather than working to improve on 2010\u2019s 5-11 finish (good for last place in his own division). Mega Touch faced similar struggles in 2010, finishing with just 13 points on the year. Asked how his team plans to improve on last year\u2019s second-worst goal differential and possibly turn things around, BTSH vet and Graphics Czar Alex Eben Meyer went on an eight minute rambling discourse on the difficulties of using Avenir Demi Oblique for letterpressing the team\u2019s trading cards. So, yeah.
\nVegas Line:<\/strong> Mega Touch by 1\/2 point
\nJesse the Greek says:<\/strong> Stay away. This is an early season trap game for bettors.
\nWatchability:<\/strong> 3 point sizes<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"